


There You Were

by lunabelle



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, F/M, Family, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Abortion, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5638645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunabelle/pseuds/lunabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April Swanson is a photographer for the Parks Department in Pawnee's City Hall.  While trying to forget and overcome a difficult portion of her recent past, she meets Andy Dwyer, who may just be the one person she feels comfortable opening up to.</p><p>Alternate Universe: Some of the characters' careers, ages, families, relationships and ambitions have been changed around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nice to Meet You Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AU. I hope you enjoy! :)  
> Rated M, but some chapters marked for E.

Once again, April was running irrevocably late. Not that she tried to be super punctual per se, but there were some things she’d rather not have to be reminded of, and responsibility was one of them. Responsibility, work ethic, or life choices were definitely _not_ topics she’d ever want a lecture on.

She twisted her scarf around her neck once before heading into City Hall. The building was just as freezing inside as it was out, and she was grateful she wasn’t sticking around today. Not that anyone would really be working on Thanksgiving Day, but she still had an assignment to hand in, and without it, she wouldn’t get paid. That wasn’t fun for anyone.

“Hey Donna,” she said, rubbing her hands together as she pushed open the door of the Parks Department. 

“Hey girl,” Donna greeted her from her usual spot, sipping a drink from a thermos that April knew _wasn’t_ filled with coffee. April didn’t mind the small talk; Donna was the only one who worked there that she actually enjoyed talking to.

“Everyone gone?” April tossed her bag on the table and rifled threw it, producing a manilla folder and handing it to the older woman.

“Yeah, they all up and left,” Donna said, taking the folder and flipping through the contents. “I only volunteered to come in today for the double time pay. The Meagles don’t have the best track record when it comes to holiday get togethers.” She looked closely at the glossy images in the folder. “April,” she glanced up at her, looking surprised. “There are fantastic.”

“Thanks,” April looked at the ground quickly, swinging her arms idly by her side.

“No, really… These are some of the best ones you’ve done. Leslie made a good call asking you to photograph the Harvest Festival this year. These will look great in the end of year brochure.”

“Well, what else am I gonna do, right?” April shrugged.

“Girl, you’ve got talent,” Donna shook her head. “You need to take this freelance stuff and move into the professional field,” she added, handing her a small envelope. “Here, Leslie said this is what we owe you. Plus, we threw in a little extra. Consider it a Thanksgiving bonus.”

“Thanks,” April pocketed the envelope and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Gotta get going though,” she said, looking at Donna apologetically. “Running late…”

“Yeah, ya are,” Donna laughed. “Leslie left for your dad’s house over an hour ago,” she pointed to the empty Director’s office. On the front of the door was a sign in the shape of a turkey reading, “Happy Parksgiving!” 

Sometimes Leslie was good at puns. Other times…not so much. “I know, I know,” April raised her hand in a wave. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Donna called, as April hurried down the hallway and out the front doors to her car.

 

So maybe she’d be an hour late. That wasn’t too bad; at least she’d miss the boring parts of the dinner. The greeting people, the standing around, the small talk…pretending to care what everyone was up to. Those were things she could definitely afford to miss. The little joint she hastily put out before getting out of her car also helped a bit, but no one needed to know about that part.

If her dad had it his way, it would just be the seven of them. He hated having people over, and that was something he’d passed down to his eldest daughter. Then again, it was a holiday, and Diane loved the holidays…and her dad loved Diane. It wasn’t hard to figure out where his weak spot was.

April didn’t remember much about when her father first started dating his second wife. She remembered less than Tom did, anyway. So, she’d often ask her brother details about those years, and he’d usually be happy to oblige. It could’ve been much worse—she could’ve hated her step-mother. However, it was damn near impossible, because Diane was literally one of the nicest women April had ever met. Diane just _got_ April, without really trying. She never pushed, she never pried, and she never tried to replace the mother that April no longer had. So, in return, April tolerated her as a kid, and eventually grew to love her as a mother-figure. Diane would never be Mom though…no one would ever be able to fill that role again.

As a result, April and Tom got three new half siblings: Zoe, Ivy and John. They were pretty tolerable most of the time, though vastly different in personality from her and her older brother by a long shot. They did their thing, and April did hers. They seemed to prefer Tom’s company to hers as well. Honestly, April wasn’t surprised, or offended.

As she opened the front door, she was greeted with a barrage of sound, and the unmistakable smell of Thanksgiving dinner took over. April hurried to the dining room, tossing her coat and bag on the nearest surface before entering. The entire table looked up as she appeared, and the talking ceased immediately. She could feel a red flush creeping up her cheeks as she saw all those eyes staring in her direction. 

“Sorry…I’m…sorry,” she said, and took her usual place across from Diane and on her dad’s right hand side. She leaned over and whispered, “Sorry, Dad. I had to hand in some stuff for work.”

“You didn’t miss much,” her father replied, his mouth a thin line under a bushy mustache. “Just all the reasons why Leslie here thinks doubling the size of the Parks department is the ultimate goal for the new year.”

April grinned at him, and he returned it. Diane tapped him on the shoulder, a playful smile on her face.

“Ron,” she whispered warningly, trying to sound stern, but only coming off as mildly humored.

“Darling, you know as well as I do, the best thing to do would actually be to _cut_ the department in half—“

“Oh Ron,” Leslie grinned at him from a few seats down. “I know you don’t mean that.” She thought about it, and added, “Well, yes, you do, but it’s not happening.”

April looked up at the cheerful blonde and sighed. How on earth anyone could ever be as perky and optimistic as Leslie Knope, Director of City Hall’s Office of Parks and Recreation, she would never know. Nor would she ever understand. Leslie had been a friend of the family for years, so April knew her well. It was thanks to Leslie that April had her freelance photography job, snapping and editing the occasional photos for Leslie’s department and getting paid for it. It wasn’t a way to make a complete living, but it worked for April. That was enough, for now at least.

On Leslie’s left sat her husband, another family friend. Ben Wyatt, accountant extraordinaire, worked for her dad’s business. As luck would have it, he happened to be punching some numbers for Very Good Building and Development Company on a day Leslie decided to visit, and several dates and a couple of years later they were married. Now here they sat, nerdy Ben (as April and Tom liked to call him—usually to his face) and enthusiastic Leslie, over the Swanson house for Thanksgiving dinner. 

“April,” Leslie looked at her, her smile wide and her white teeth glowing. “You know Ann, right? The greatest person in the entire universe? Aside from you, babe,” she added, looking quickly at Ben.

April looked farther down the table and nodded stiffly. Sure enough, Leslie brought her best “gal-pal” Ann Perkins. The chestnut-haired woman smiled and waved to April, and April lazily lifted a hand in response. 

“Yeah, I know Ann,” April replied dully, spooning some mashed potatoes into her dish.

In truth, April only knew _of_ Ann; she never really had any sort of real interaction with her, and she was fine with that. Ann worked at St. Joseph’s hospital, as some sort of doctor or something—April honestly didn’t know or care—and she would often see her in passing. Ann’s step-father was actually very well known around Pawnee, Indiana, since he happened to be one of the state’s top obstetricians for the past twenty years.

“Yeah, my dad delivered Zoe, Ivy and John,” Ann said, trying to bridge the awkward conversational gap. “So in a way, he’s like, a part of your family!” She laughed, more to herself than anyone, before Leslie joined in for support.

April grimaced. She may be a doctor, but her jokes sucked.

“And I know April hasn’t met Andy,” Leslie gestured at the man sitting next to Ann, who April honestly didn’t even notice was there until just now. He’d been so quiet the entire time.

“Oh!” Ann laughed again, and April scrunched her nose up at the sound. “This is Andy. My fiancé,” she said, wrapping one of her arms around his.

April leaned over to look at him. She could tell just by the way he was sitting that he was tall, and a bit stocky. He had a slightly uncomfortable look on his face, like he was confused about what to say, but then the smile he gave her was so warm and genuine-looking that April’s grimace faded entirely. His green eyes were turned up at the end, and he had patchy facial hair to match the sandy-colored curls atop his head. He nodded at her, and gave her a casual wave.

“Hey,” he said by way of greeting, and his voice was a smooth, low rumble that made her sit up a little straighter to get a better look.

“Hi,” she said, her mouth quickly turning up into a grin and fading just as fast. He was dressed in a simple plaid shirt and blue jeans, contrasting completely with Ann’s formal blouse and dress pants. They looked like a complete mismatch.

“So, guys,” Ben’s voice broke the silence that followed, and April diverted her attention back to filling her dish. Out of the corner of her eye, she could tell that Andy was still staring in her direction. “Did you figure out a date for the big day yet?”

April glanced at Ann’s hand, and saw one of the biggest diamonds she’d ever seen glittering on her ring finger. How on earth the guy sitting next to her could afford it, she didn’t know. 

“Oh, not for a while,” Ann said, turning to Andy with a smile. “At least not until the spring after next, right baby?”

Andy nodded and took a sizable gulp of wine. “Right A-cakes.”

“Why wait so long?” Ron inquired. “What’s the point of all the fuss and planning? Do what we did and go to City Hall, and ask for a damn marriage license. Boom. Married. It’s easy.” He glanced at Diane and his mustache twitched.

“Well, we want to wait until I finish my residency,” Ann explained. “And by then, Andy will be done with business school, so we won’t have to worry about that stuff anymore.”

“Business school, huh?” Ben said, taking a bite of bread. “Didn’t peg you for a business man, Andy.”

“Well, I’m not really,” Andy said, scratching his beard and shrugging. He grinned at Ann, but she didn’t return it. “I’m supposed to start in the spring…you know, like, night classes or something.”

“Honey, you said that’s what you wanted to do,” Ann said softly, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Well, I mean, I didn’t exactly have a choice…” he added, trying to make his voice cheerier than April knew it probably was. He glanced at Ann and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and her expression softened a bit. “No baby, it’s totally fine. I’m super excited.” Turning back to the table, he smiled. “Well, Ben, I gotta provide for the future Mrs. Dwyer,” he said.

“Remember, we talked about this, I’m keeping my last name,” Ann said, slicing herself a piece of turkey.

“Gotta provide for the future Mrs. Perkins,” Andy corrected himself.

“You mean ‘Dr.’ Perkins,” Leslie said enthusiastically.

April couldn’t help the eye roll that followed. She hoped no one noticed.

“Good for you, son,” Ron commended him.

April peeked at Andy again. He smiled appreciatively, but she couldn’t help but notice that he still looked strangely awkward about the whole conversation.

“Then before long, you’ll have kids,” Leslie smiled, with a dreamy expression on her face. And whenever Ben and I have kids they’ll be best friends—“

“Woah, honey,” Ben laughed. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“You want kids, don’t you Ann?” Leslie looked at her best friend.

“Of course…eventually, right babe?”

April shifted uncomfortably. She felt Diane’s eyes from across the table, and tried to sit up straighter.

Andy swallowed the piece of turkey he was eating and looked around with his mouth slightly open. “Y-yeah, of course I do…I super do!”

“What about you, April?” Ann asked suddenly. 

April had been staring at her dish, trying to imagine what it would be like to be anywhere but at this table having this increasingly boring and awkward conversation. Honestly, she kind of wished she’d just stayed at the Parks department and asked Donna to pour her some of whatever she was drinking, and the two of them could’ve had a better time. So when Ann addressed her by name, she looked up, slightly startled to suddenly have to say something.

“What?” April blinked and looked at Ann.

“I said, what about you? What are you doing? Are you in school? Are you working? Do you have a boyfriend?” Ann narrowed her eyes slightly, as if she wasn’t expecting much.

April put her fork down and leaned back in her chair. Why did people always ask these types of questions, and why did Ann care, anyway?

“I do freelance photography,” April said slowly, glancing at Andy again out of the corner of her eye. He was still looking in her direction. “I do a lot of stuff for Leslie and the Parks Department.”

“And she’s the best we’ve ever had,” Leslie smiled at April, nodding. “I swear, she always gets a perfect shot.”

“You ever take pictures of bands?”

April looked up at Andy, who was suddenly looking at her with the most excited expression she’d ever seen. She nodded slowly. “I have a couple times, yeah.”

“Awesome! I’m in a band, and it would be super great if you could take some pictures of us, for like, promotional stuff. Do you think you could…you know…do that? If you want to, I mean.”

For a moment he stared at her like a little kid, excited about the possibility of getting some candy. His eyes looked even warmer, and April found herself thinking about just how handsome he actually was.

“Yeah…um, of course,” she replied. Something about the way he was asking her, how excited he was and his genuine interest in what she did, it didn’t annoy her the way most people did. 

“Sweet!” Andy grinned.

April diverted her attention back at her plate quickly.

“Andy’s in a band called Mouse Rat,” Leslie added, glancing at Ann. April noticed that Ann seemed less than enthusiastic about the topic, but nodded nonetheless.

Something about the name rang a bell in April’s memory. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she had a strange suspicion she’d actually seen Mouse Rat before. A while ago, she’d gone to a rock show with her friends, Derek and Ben. They’d whined about how bored they were, and practically had to drag her out, but not before she’d caught a few songs from the headlining band.

“Do you have a song called ‘Sex Hair?’” April asked, turning to Andy with a curious expression.

“Yeah!” he said happily, obviously pleased someone knew one of his songs. To his right, Ann cleared her throat. “That’s like, one of our hit singles!”

“I thought so,” she said. “I’ve seen you guys before. It’s been a while, but I remember you. You were good.”

“Thanks,” he smiled at her, and April felt her cheeks flush. He had a sweet smile, all teeth and eyes and genuine giddiness. She didn’t see that very often with people. She turned her attention to her drink and took a sip of wine, feeling slightly better than she had all evening.

 

The rest of the meal was far less interesting, if that was possible. Things picked up a bit right before dessert, when Tom finally showed up, having closed down his restaurant at mid-day to join them for a while. Then he’d be off again to visit his girlfriend’s family.

Tom had recently opened up “Tom’s Bistro,” an affordable Italian restaurant that gave you the “high end” experience, as he would often tell anyone who’d listen. He was also in charge of marketing for Very Good Building and Development, the latter of which was bestowed upon him by his father, with the hopes that someday he may run the entire thing. April knew that wasn’t Tom’s calling…and her dad would figure it out eventually.

“…So I told him, ‘Sorry sir, we don’t accept shoes as payment,’” Tom laughed loudly, before continuing. “He was so drunk, I had my wait staff kick him out and call him a cab!”

Leslie and Ben laughed appreciatively. April shook her head, rolling her eyes. Tom loved to impress people with stories, but sometimes they were just _lame._ There was no denying that he was very successful for a twenty-six year old; no one could take that from him. Their younger siblings chuckled along with him. They _loved_ Tom’s stories.

“You did the right thing, Tommy,” Ron nodded. “Although a man who gets that drunk off a few restaurant drinks isn’t really a man at all, rather a lightweight who has no business consuming alcohol.”

“Speaking of consuming alcohol,” April glanced at her empty wine glass and debated whether or not to have a fourth. She was already feeling lightheaded and tipsy, and the pot from earlier wasn’t helping matters. Deciding instead to call it quits, she figured now was as good a time as any to break away from the group. It wasn’t as though they needed her there, anyway. She’d eaten dinner with them, made small talk, and even ate a slice of Leslie’s pumpkin pie. She’d officially paid her dues. She stood up shakily, the alcohol setting in quickly.

“Oh, April, you heading out?” Leslie looked disappointed. April nodded, and stole another glance at Ann and Andy. Ann was just staring at her, smiling pleasantly. Andy was enjoying his third slice of pie, and only looked up when he noticed she was standing. He gave her another small wave. For some odd reason, she felt her face burning up.

“Well, night everyone,” she said, raising her hand in farewell. 

She heard their mumbles of “Good night” and “Happy Thanksgiving” as she made her way down the hall and up to the third floor. Up the first staircase, down the hall, past the bedrooms, and up the second set of stairs. At the top of those stairs was a little landing closed off by a door.

Her room was like her very own apartment, and she loved it. Technically it _was_ an apartment—the third floor of their house was just large enough that Ron converted it to her own personal space several years back, complete with mini kitchen, bed, bathroom and living area. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to move out of her parents’ house, but until that day came she was fine with her situation, and apparently her parents were too. At least they never told her otherwise. She offered to pay them something every month for rent, but they flat out refused.

Pulling off her day clothes, she found something loose and comfortable to wear and brushed her teeth. It was quiet, just the way she liked it.

As she collapsed into bed, exhausted from the conversation and the wine, she checked her phone. Nothing new but a few missed messages from Derek and Ben, trying to figure out the plans for Friday night. April scrolled past them. She was about to go to sleep when she remembered something she wanted to check.

Opening up her phone’s photos, she checked back in her old albums for the pictures from the night at the Rock Show. After only a few minutes of searching, she found them. There was a picture of her and Derek, posing in front of the stage. April zoomed in, and sure enough, there was Andy in the background, adjusting the microphone as the band prepared to perform. He looked pretty similar to the Andy she officially met at dinner. Maybe a little thinner back then than he was now, but everything else was pretty much the same.

Briefly, she caught herself wondering how on earth he and Ann ended up together. They didn’t seem like they were compatible at all. Ann looked uncomfortable with everything Andy had to say, and vice versa. Then she wondered _why_ she even cared so much, and pushed the thought out of her mind. She had enough to worry about without trying to figure out why other people’s minds worked they way they did.

As she switched off the lamp and rolled over to sleep, April made a mental note. She had to ask Leslie to get in touch with Andy about taking those photos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Nice To Meet You Anyway" by Gavin Degraw


	2. Comfortably Numb

Six o’clock in the morning absolutely sucked. Sure, it was probably when a lot of regular people with normal jobs got up to begin their day, but April always hated it. Just the process of waking up and showering was sometimes daunting to her, especially on those mornings when the crippling and overwhelming reality of life grabbed hold and just wouldn’t let go.

So, April began her morning like she did every day: a shower, some hot tea, a cup of yogurt, and those little prescribed pills that enabled her to move forward without feeling like she was going to have a panic attack.

She pulled into the hospital parking lot at exactly ten minutes to seven. Her weekly appointments were oddly scheduled. Her doctor loved starting his day at an unnatural hour, resulting in his first appointment of the day always being absurdly early. Seven in the morning, same time every Monday. She was always the first patient of the day.

The office was on the second floor of the hospital, in a small ward tailored to other doctors and therapists specializing in the same or similar fields. April sighed, mentally prepping herself, and pushed open the door to the office labeled “Dr. Christopher Traeger, MD & Dr. Richard Nyguard, PhD.”

Craig, the office receptionist, was seated at his desk as usual. He sat facing an empty waiting room, with two more doors leading off into two separate offices. The room had an unnatural way about it, mostly because of the odd pieces of furniture and plant life scattered throughout the space. Craig looked up as April walked in.

“Well, good morning sunshine,” he muttered, watching her sign in on the clipboard. “You’re here for Chris, I assume?”

“Who else am I _ever_ here for?” She rolled her eyes at him as Craig scribbled something down and clicked a few things on his computer.

“Don’t mind me, I’m still in a bit of a stuffing and cranberry sauce coma from this weekend,” Craig shook his head. “Don’t even ask,” he added, glancing up at her quickly with narrowed eyes.

“I wasn’t going to.” April took a seat in one of the empty chairs and waited.

In the two years she’d been coming here, she’d actually never seen Dr. Nyguard. His door was always closed. Sometimes she wondered if he was even real, or if Chris was actually _both_ doctors, alternating between appointments for fun. Then again, maybe he preferred to start his day later like a normal person. Before she could think too much more on the matter, the other door swung open, and Dr. Christopher Traeger stood in the doorway, beaming at her.

“April Swanson!” he smiled, pointing two fingers at her before gesturing for her to follow him. “Come on in!”

He led her into his own office, and closed the door lightly behind her. April took her usual seat in one of the massive, overly comfortable leather chairs facing Chris’ desk. He never sat at his own desk while he spoke to her, deciding instead to either sit up on top of it or in the other chair next to her. Today was an on-top-of-the-desk day.

Chris’ office was filled with a variety of things. There were three bookshelves completely filled to the brim, exercise equipment was lined up against the wall (apparently he worked out in-between clients and on lunch breaks) and there was an entire side table dedicated to housing all his vitamins. He had motivational posters and quotes framed, adorning every one of his four walls.

“I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving?” he began, taking out his notepad and placing it beside him.

“It was all right,” she replied, shrugging. “How was yours?”

“Oh, it was great,” he beamed. “I cooked a tofurkey—you know, a tofu turkey—and my brother and his family came to visit. It was fantastic! But enough about me…how are _you_ doing today?”

April sighed. “Pretty good,” she said honestly.

“Wonderful,” Chris nodded. “Have you been working at all this week?”

“Here and there,” April admitted. “You know, still doing the photography thing.”

“Do you still enjoy it?”

“Um, yeah…it’s great, I guess. It pays the bills.”

“That’s great! Keep that up, for sure.” He marked something down on his paper and continued. “How have you been sleeping?”

“Eh, okay I guess” April shrugged again. “I haven’t had any major issues lately.”

Another mark on his paper.

“And how about this month’s goals?” Chris glanced at her, his eyes hopeful and his pen poised.

“I…I haven’t exactly…” April shook her head slowly.

Chris sighed, but not out of frustration. “April, I totally understand your reluctance to join a support group, but I do believe it would help.”

“I think I want to scrap that goal,” she said, biting her lip. “I just don’t…have it in me, OK? I mean, that’s why I come here, isn’t it? To talk to you?”

That _is_ why she came here. She didn’t need a support group, no matter how often Chis suggested it. That was the last thing she wanted. Sitting around, listening to other people sob about stuff wasn’t going to help her with her own issues.

“I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want to do,” Chris explained. “Just continue to keep an open mind.”

He was always telling her that. _Open mind, open heart._

“I did meet a new person, though,” she offered. “That was a goal, right?”

Chris smiled, his blue eyes lighting up. “It most certainly was!”

“Yeah, I met someone on Thanksgiving, and I think I’m going to be shooting some photos for him and his band, so it’s a win-win. More work, expanding social circle.” April fidgeted with her overlarge shirtsleeves. She didn’t know why, but she felt that her meeting Andy was at least discussion worthy. Chris liked it when she got out and met new people. He always said it was part of the healing process, but she never believed him. She still didn’t—but Andy just seemed really cool. 

“Fantastic!” Chris smiled and scribbled notes enthusiastically. “I know you prefer staying indoors and keeping to yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sitting on my favorite couch with a kale protein shake and reading a book is _literally_ one of my favorite things to do.”

April nodded.

“However, it’s very important that you get out every once in a while, even if it’s a walk down the street. I myself like to run ten miles every afternoon.”

“I do go out,” April said defensively. “I work, I go out with my boyfriend, I do lot’s of stuff.”

“Are you still seeing…Derek, I believe his name is?” Chris frowned at his notes.

“Yes,” April said quietly. Like most people, Chris didn’t exactly understand the relationship she had with Derek. Yes, he was sort of _her_ boyfriend, but he _also_ had a boyfriend named Ben. It was a strange situation to everyone but the three of them.

“Hmm,” Chris made another mark on his notepad. “So, April…you’ve been coming here once a week for two years now. I know earlier this year we decreased your dosage, and you seemed to be doing fine with that. Would you be up for it if we took down the dosage again in a couple of months? As soon as the new year starts, I think you can definitely cut back on the medications. It might even be better for you.”

April’s chest tightened up for a moment at those words. “Um…yeah, maybe,” she shrugged, her mouth a thin line.

“Okay, well…we can discuss it more when the time comes,” Chris smiled kindly. “In the meantime, I want you to continue to take photos…and work on those goals. Keep meeting new people. Before I let you go for the week, is there anything you wanted to ask me or discuss?”

He asked this every week, and every week April turned him down. In the beginning she’d talk and let it all out…after all, that was the point, right? Now, though…now she just gave him his weekly updates, and he continued to give her the medication. Trade off.

“I’m good, Chris,” she said, standing up and shouldering her bag.

Chris smiled and led her to the door. “April Swanson, it’s been a pleasure, as always. Call me if anything comes up. Otherwise, I’ll see you next Monday.”

She gave him a wave, and took off down the hall to the elevator, pressing the button for the first floor lobby quickly. The sooner she got out, the sooner she could get home and go back to bed. She might even return to an empty house, if her parents were at work and the kids were at school. She was in such a rush, she almost didn’t notice the person walking toward the elevator as she was walking out.

“Hey! April!”

She turned quickly, confused that anyone here would know her by name. Looking for the source of the voice, her eyes scanned the lobby, and landed on a tall figure with sandy-colored hair. She stared at him a moment before the realization hit her.

“It’s me! Andy…from Thanksgiving?”

It _was_ him.

“Oh, hey,” she said, smiling shyly at him. 

As he walked up to her, she was finally aware of how much taller he actually was. She barely came up to his shoulder. He was dressed almost exactly the same as the last time she saw him, only today he was wearing a different color plaid shirt.

“What’re you doing here?” Andy asked curiously, looking around for some sign of a person she might be with.

“I’m…I just had an appointment,” she shrugged. “What about you? Why are you here?” She asked quickly, trying to change the topic.

“Oh, I’m here to meet Ann for breakfast,” he said, smiling. “She had to work the night shift and she’s about to get off work. We’re not gonna eat here…um, I mean, we’re gonna go eat after this.” He turned his thumb to the elevator to help get his point across.

April felt a twinge of annoyance that faded almost immediately, and mustered up a tiny grin. “Cool.”

“Yeah,” he swung his arms by his side, unsure of what to do. 

“Hey,” April suddenly remembered, taking out her phone. “Let me get your number,” she said, handing it to him. “That way I can get in touch with you about the band photos. Just type it in,” she added.

“Sweet!” Andy exclaimed, as he entered his number. “I’m so excited about this, you have no idea. We’ve never had anyone take real pictures of us, you know?” He handed the phone back. “Uh…only thing is, I don’t know if we can pay you a whole lot,” he looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, scratching his neck.

“Oh, um, don’t worry about it,” April shrugged. “Consider it pro bono.”

“Uh—“ Andy looked confused.

“It means free,” she added quickly.

“Oh!” his face split into a grin. “Awesome! Well, in that case…” he thought hard for a moment and his face lit up. “Let me buy you lunch! It’s the least I can do.”

April suddenly felt lighter. She didn’t know why, but those simple words worked wonders on her mood. Nodding her head, she simply replied, “Y-yeah, sounds great.”

“Sweet,” he held out his hand for a high five. April obliged happily.

_“Andy!”_

They both turned at the sound of the additional voice. Ann was hurrying out of the elevator, dressed in blue scrubs and smiling. Andy turned toward her.

“Well, I’ll see you,” April said softly, feeling like now was as good a time as any to take off.

“Bye April!” Andy smiled at her again before taking Ann into his arms with a kiss.

“Oh…hey, April!” Ann added, just realizing she was standing there.

April started toward the door, feeling lousy again. She decided that she could really use that nap after all.

 

Luckily April had gotten her wish. No one was home when she pulled back into the driveway. She took the shortcut up to her room—a door on the side of the house that led right up to the third floor—and collapsed into bed.

Her bed was always a safe place for her. It was the one place in the entire world that only she was allowed in. No boyfriends, no guests, no one but April ever used it. It was an unimpressive thing, really. Kind of low to the ground, shoved into a slanted corner of the room. It was covered in a large comforter with several pillows, and to April, it was the most comfortable place in the world. Making a mental note to text Andy at some point about the photos, she immediately fell asleep.

 

“Damn it,” Ron’s voice carried through the kitchen as April sat with Zoe at the counter. They were going over the senior photos April had shot for her sister’s official yearbook portrait.

“What’s wrong, dad?” Zoe glanced up, and April lifted her eyes from her laptop to listen.

“That damn Brendanawicz is trying to lay claim to Lot forty-eight again,” their father said angrily. “He knows I’ve been trying to get that land for Morningstar. Damn Norton Construction asses…can’t mind their own business.” 

He stomped out of the room in the opposite direction, taking out his ancient cell phone and dialing a number. April turned back to the computer.

“So, um…you said you liked this one, right?”

Zoe nodded. “Love that one,” she smiled. “I think that’s the one.”

“Cool,” April nodded, and selected the photo. “I’ll just edit it up for you, OK? And we’ll take it from there.”

“Thanks,” Zoe hopped down from the stool and pushed her hair behind her ears. “Hey April?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you ever try to date anymore?”

April frowned. “I have a boyfriend…sorta,” she shrugged.

Zoe narrowed her eyes. “No, you don’t. Derek’s not your boyfriend, he’s _Ben’s_ boyfriend.” She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, you gotta stop that, it’s getting weird.”

“Who cares?” April replied, a little angrily. 

“I’m just saying,” Zoe said, holding up her hands. “My friends were asking me the other day. We were talking about how you used to date that guy, Eduardo, or whatever and—“

“Just stop!” April shouted. “I don’t want to talk about who I am or am not dating, OK? And why the hell were your friends talking about me?”

She could feel the familiar sensation of her heart speeding up and the tension in her muscles. Her stomach starting turning. Times like these she really hated how frustrating her sisters could be. It wasn’t even like Zoe was too young to understand. She just didn’t need to get into it.

“Fine, I’m sorry,” Zoe walked away, shrugging, and April closed up her laptop and hurried back to her room.

Slamming her door a little harder than she planned, April pressed herself against it and sank to the floor, breathing hard. The sound of an incoming text message made her open her eyes again, and she checked to see who it was.

A message from Donna read: “Hey girl, hope all’s well. Come down to Parks when you get the chance. Leslie’s having some sort of post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas office dinner tonight.”

April quickly typed a response: “No thanks, Donna…gonna stay in tonight,” and hit send. She couldn’t go out…there was no way she was leaving the house feeling like she did.

After another moment, another response from Donna arrived: “Call if you need to talk.”

April tried to smile, but she just didn’t have it in her at the moment. Instead, she was about to reluctantly get back to editing the photos for her currently very-annoying younger sister, when she had a better thought.

April had no real idea why she thought to do this now, but she needed an outlet. She needed to talk to someone different. Maybe this was the closest thing. Typing quickly, she sent Andy a message: “Hey, this is April…just wondering if tomorrow around noon time would be good to shoot the pictures? Let me know, and I’ll come meet you wherever. Thanks.”

She put the phone down with shaky hands. She honestly wasn’t expecting him to get back to her anytime soon. He probably had a bunch of stuff to do, anyway. Maybe he’d even forgotten, and he’d look at the text and wonder who it was from without even reading it. Ann alone seemed like she needed constant companionship, and April hated that. Something about that woman just _got_ to her in the worst way. Whatever Ann and Andy were doing, April guessed he’d be busy for hours. So, she figured he’d get back to her whenever, if he even did at all.

Not another minute passed before her phone was buzzing again. Catching her off guard, her heart did a sort of jump in her chest, and she picked up the phone eagerly. It was indeed from Andy. April read it, and the ends of her mouth turned up.

_“Hey April! Thanks 4 messaging me. Tomorrow sounds great. How about 1? Not 1 in the morning, 1 at night…wait…I mean, one in the afternoon. Here’s the address 4 the place we record our songs. Can’t wait! —Andy”_

April smiled for real now. She was honestly really, really excited about this gig. It helped that the recording studio just so happened to be the one where her dad recorded all his jazz albums. Albeit, jazz albums that no one knew about except his family, and all the fans of “Duke Silver,” his performing alter ego.

At least now she had something to look forward to. She hadn’t experienced that pure excitement in a long time now. It was an awesome feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd


	3. Smile Like You Mean It

April pulled into the lot of the recording studio and checked her reflection in the mirror. She looked the same, save for the dark bags under her eyes. She hoped she didn’t look too lousy. It was a rough night’s sleep, dragging herself out of bed every two hours or waking from an odd dream. She’d pace around her room and take deep, even breaths, finally falling asleep around five in the morning. She wasn’t exactly feeling as awake as she’d like to be for the task at hand.

 _Coffee,_ she thought, yawning wide. _Should’ve brought coffee with me…_

Music could be heard as she pushed open the door, and she walked the familiar path down the little hall to the recording studio. The sound guy was there in his booth, lazily rifling through a magazine as the band rehearsed. April gave him a nod as she passed. He knew her by sight from the handful of times she’d come to watch her dad record, but they certainly weren’t on speaking terms. Half the time he’d look her up and down like a creep, so she’d walk by as quickly as possible. She peeked around the corner and saw Andy and his three bandmates in a huddle.

Andy looked up when he noticed her standing there and smiled, gesturing for her to come over. 

“Hey! You made it,” he flashed that crooked grin at her, and she couldn’t help but return it. “Did you have any trouble finding the place?”

“No, my dad—“ she stopped short. Duke Silver was a family secret. “Um, no…you gave good directions.” She reached into her bag and pulled out her camera. 

“Awesome,” Andy said. “C’mon over and meet the band.”

April studied the group of them. They all appeared to be around the same age, although Andy was definitely the tallest. Just a group of average guys in a band.

“Guys, this is April. She’s an awesome photographer,” he turned his head toward her and smiled.

April raised a hand in greeting, feeling her face heat up. The band mumbled their hellos, appearing friendly enough. She never had a problem with people who didn’t like to talk much. Absolutely best case scenario.

“April, this is Burly, Chang and Rivers. We’re Mouse Rat,” he added, unnecessarily. “We’ve had lots of names, but this time it’s gonna stick.”

“Dude,” one of the men piped up. “You say that _every_ time.”

“Who cares, Burly?” Andy shot back at him, shaking his head frustratedly. “All that matters is that we’re Mouse Rat now, not stupid ‘Scarecrow Boat.’ Who the hell came up with that lame-ass name anyway?”

“You did,” Burly intoned.

Andy opened his mouth and closed it again, seemingly defeated. 

“Nice,” April averted her eyes, focusing instead on setting the dials for her camera. “So…um, you guys ready?”

“Yeah,” Andy nodded. “Where d’you want us?”

“Well,” April moved around, walking in circles a bit to get an idea of the space. “How about I start by taking some shots of you guys practicing? You know, just pretend I’m not here. Then we’ll do some posed ones.”

Andy looked thrilled. “That’s a great idea,” he said, looking at April excitedly. “You’re awesome. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this for us.”

April could feel her chest do a weird, stupid flutter and she tried her best to hide it. Her mind started to race. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ The last thing she needed was to feel embarrassed, too.

“No problem,” she said, looking down at her camera. “Why don’t you guys start?”

The session went as smooth as it could possibly go. April moved around the studio as they played, getting shots of each member of the band at several different angles and poses. She tried not to laugh as Andy put on his best serious face, totally not pulling it off. When he’d see her snickering, he’d start to crack up too, and the resulting pictures had a bunch of him with his little half-smile. April personally thought they looked better than the pseudo-serious ones.

In all, she shot photos for about an hour straight. After getting enough of what she needed, April took a seat in the back of the room and listened to Mouse Rat finish their practice session. She had nothing else to do, so she figured there was no harm in it. When they finished up another hour later, Andy came to join her.

“Hey,” he said, and April noticed how sweaty he was now that he’d finished. “We’re just about finished up now…um…and I know it’s way after lunch time, but how about I buy you dinner instead?”

April smiled at him. “You sure you don’t have somewhere else to be tonight?”

Andy shrugged. “Not really…Ann’s working again, and I don’t have a real job, so…nope.”

“Cool,” she stood up, shouldering her bag, and waited.

“Just gimme a minute,” he said, holding up one finger as he hurried to help the band pack up.

 

Twenty minutes later, April found herself driving with Andy to JJ’s Diner, a Pawnee staple that even April enjoyed. They used her car, because she learned pretty quickly that Andy and Ann only had one. Ann had it tonight, so Andy was going to need a ride home anyway. April had no problem with that. 

“So,” April glanced at Andy as she drove. He was staring straight ahead, a tired look on his face. “Hungry?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded. “I always get super hungry after a band practice.”

“Hey…you said you don’t have a job right now?” April was honestly curious. She wanted to understand why a girl like Ann would fall for someone like Andy. The thought had perplexed her since Thanksgiving.

“Nah,” Andy shook his head. “I’m kinda in between jobs, I guess.” He shrugged.

“How did you and Ann meet?” April brought it up casually, but her mind was desperate for answers.

“Ha, well, it’s kinda funny,” Andy laughed. “There used to be this pit in the back of her—our—house,” he started. “It was this big, dirty, hole in the ground. Well, one day I fell in, and I broke both my legs.”

“Oh man,” April said softly, shaking her head. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, it sucked,” Andy agreed. “Anyway, when I went to the hospital, Ann was my doctor. We sorta hit it off and I eventually asked her out. I was in and out of there enough, so…” He grinned at April. “I figured, why not?”

“Were you…uh…” April tried to choose her words delicately. “Were you sober?”

Andy snickered. “No, I wasn’t.” He shrugged, laughing to himself. “I was actually trying to grab a toaster someone tossed in there.”

“Wow,” April smiled as she pulled into the lot at JJ’s—it wasn’t a far drive from the studio. Then again, nothing in Pawnee really was.

“There’s gonna be a park going up where the pit used to be,” Andy explained. “Leslie’s actually in charge of the whole thing.”

“Now I get what she’s been talking about,” April rolled her eyes. “She hasn’t stopped going on about it for months.”

“Yeah she’s great,” Andy laughed. “She’s super nice, like, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I’ve known her for a couple years now.”

“I’ve known her for a while too,” April admitted. “Well, my family has. So then, how old are you?”

“Thirty,” he replied. “You?”

“I’m twenty-three,” April said softly. She hoped that wasn’t weird for him, hanging out with someone so much younger. It didn’t bother her at all.

“Wow,” Andy looked at her for a minute, his eyes just studying her.

“What?” April’s first inclination when someone would stare would usually be to duck her head down, turn the other way, and just walk away. She hated eyes boring into her. Andy though…the way he stared wasn’t menacing, it wasn’t creepy or invasive. It was curious and kind.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, breaking the stare. “You just…I dunno you seem so much older.”

“Oh,” April looked down. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, so she didn’t say anymore about it.

Andy looked toward the entrance to JJ’s. “Shall we?”

 

“So, my turn to ask you a question,” Andy said, as they were both ordering cheeseburgers in a booth.

“Okay,” April sipped her water, staring at him expectantly. She didn’t know what he could possibly want to know about her. No one ever asked her anything of importance, anyway. She always felt like no one really cared. Then again, Andy was proving himself to be different in all the best ways.

“Do you work in the hospital too?”

April stared at him confusedly for a moment, wondering why he’d ask something like that. Then she remembered that he saw her there yesterday, leaving her appointment with Chris.

“No,” she said softly, shaking her head. “I was just…I had an appointment.”

“Oh,” Andy looked just as confused. “Ann told me she’s seen you there before a few times…so I thought maybe you worked there sometimes too.”

“Nope.”

Andy nodded, his lips pressed together.

“Can I ask _you_ another question?” April met his eyes.

“Sure!”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she started, darting her eyes down to her lap before looking up at him again.

Andy stared back at her, his head tilted to the side curiously.

“Why are you gonna take business classes if it’s obviously not what you wanna do?” She stared at him hard, trying not to blink too much. It just didn’t make sense to her. She could tell just by the conversation she overheard at the dinner. He wasn’t meant to be a business man, and after the time they’d spent together today so far, she felt even stronger about her opinion.

He sipped his drink before clearing his throat, and sighed. “I know it’s not really my thing,” he started, twisting his napkin in his fingers. “But Ann is just so good to me. She took care of me, she puts up with me…she wants to marry me. So, I—I wanna do this, because it’ll make her happy. And it’ll make her family happy, and prove that I’m serious about it.”

April stared at him for a long while. His answer was genuine, but she felt like he was still leaving something out. She didn’t want to press him though—they barely knew each other.

“Oh,” she said simply.

“My turn again,” Andy said.

“Okay,” April rested her chin on her hand and waited.

“So, you have _how many_ brothers and sisters?”

“I have an older brother, Tom,” April began, ticking them off on her fingers. “Tom and I have three half-siblings: Zoe, Ivy, and John. Tom is actually adopted…my mom and dad didn’t think they could have kids of their own at first, so they brought him home. Three years later, they were surprised when they found out they were getting me.”

“So,” Andy squinted. “That woman, Diane…she’s not your actual mom?”

“Well, she’s my step-mom, and she practically raised me. But my real mom died a long time ago.” April said softly.

“I’m sorry,” Andy said quietly. “My dad…uh…he died when I was really young too. My mom never remarried though.”

“I’m sorry too,” April said truthfully. She knew how hard it was to lose a parent.

“I’ve got six older brothers,” Andy added.

“Six?” April could barely handle the siblings she had. She couldn’t imagine seven boys living under one roof. And to lose their father so young…

They were interrupted as their food arrived, and spent the next ten minutes in silence as they ate. Andy was done almost instantly. She’d never seen someone eat so quickly. She offered him some of her fries that she knew she wouldn’t finish, and he accepted gratefully.

“So, um, Ann’s dad,” April said, putting down a fry and trying to remember. “Saperstein?”

“Well,” Andy chewed his food and swallowed. “Technically he’s her step-dad. She still goes by her old last name though…her mom married him not too long after her real dad died when she was young.”

“Is he really that chipper _all_ the time? Like, I see him sometimes when I’m in ther—at the hospital,” she corrected herself quickly. _Easy, April…that was a close one._

“No,” Andy looked annoyed. “He’s only like that with his patients. He can be nice, and he’s successful and everything…but he’s also pushy…and kinda overbearing. He’s actually paying for my classes for me. Said I needed to have a degree to marry his daughter.”

April suddenly realized why Andy had chosen business school. She had a strange feeling that he didn’t have much say in the matter, lest he face an ultimatum.

“Ah, gotcha…” she nodded.

“Don’t tell anyone this,” Andy leaned forward and whispered. “But you know Ann’s engagement ring? That big one?”

April leaned forward so she was closer to him. She had a feeling she knew what was coming, and it only made her feel worse for him.

“He payed for it,” Andy said miserably. “Said his daughter had to have the best ring. Said I could pay him back someday…” Andy shook his head. “Did you see the size of that thing? How the hell am I gonna pay _that_ back?”

“Dude,” April shook her head. “That’s the most messed up shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, it is,” Andy sighed again. “Oh well… Good thing she’s my soulmate, right?”

April forced a grin and mumbled, “Yeah, good thing.”

They finished the rest of the meal in silence, and when the bill came, Andy snatched it up immediately.

“Oh, no,” April reached out. “You don’t have to—“

“Yes, I do!” Andy replied, his eyes wide. “I’m paying you back for taking our pictures!”

“No, it’s no big deal,” she reached into her purse and pulled out some money. “Let me pay too.”

“April, _no,”_ Andy said defiantly, and before she could say another word, he shoved some cash in the bill and handed it to the nearest passing waitress.

“Thanks,” April mumbled, rolling her lips.

“Don’t mention it,” he laughed. “Thank _you.”_

 

The ride to Andy’s house was mostly a quiet one. They talked a bit about travel plans for holidays, how they both hated shopping for gifts, and what their own dream gifts would be. For April, there was a new camera lens that she’d love to get. For Andy, some Indianapolis Colts Jersey…he was very specific on the details. She learned quickly that Andy was a huge football fan. 

“…It’d be so awesome, but Ann said we didn’t have to do gifts this year, since we’re trying to save for the wedding. Don’t know how I can pay for a good gift for her without a job, anyway.”

“You’ll figure something out,” April said encouragingly. “I can help you if you want.”

“Really?”

“Totally,” April nodded. 

“I’m right here,” Andy pointed, once they’d reached his and Ann’s house. As he was about to get out of the car, he stopped short and looked out the window. “What the hell?”

Ann was in the front yard, clearly just back from work. She was standing on the walkway in her hospital scrubs, talking to some guy dressed in casual clothing.

“Who’s that person she’s talking to?” April asked, squinting to get a better look.

“It’s that Brendanawicz guy,” Andy muttered. “He’s been coming around more and more lately because he wants to build something across the street.”

“Oh, that’s the guy dad was talking about,” April suddenly remembered. “He keeps trying to outbid his company, and it’s driving my dad insane.”

“Okay, but what’s he need Ann for?” Andy asked out loud, more to himself than to April. He was gripping the door handle hard. April noticed his knuckles were white.

“Maybe he needs to know something about the area,” April offered. However, they didn’t look like they were talking business. That Mark guy was grinning, gesturing with his hands, and Ann was actually laughing at whatever he was saying. It gave April a weird feeling.

“Whatever…I’ll catch you later, April. Thanks again.” He turned to face her suddenly, and April felt herself lean back in her seat. “Will you let me know when the pictures are ready?”

“Yeah, definitely,” she gripped the steering wheel as she stared at him. He was close enough that she could see every detail of his face. His eyes were brighter and greener than she’d originally thought. He had these tiny lines at the creases of his eyes, where they turned up when he smiled. His facial hair was patchy, but in an endearing sort of way. She also noticed how nice his nose and mouth were. Everything about him was pleasant-looking. “Hey, um…if you want, you can come over to my place sometime and watch me edit them.”

Andy looked excited. “Yeah, that sounds awesome!” He opened the car door, and April only then realized she’d been holding her breath. “Just give me a call and let me know when,” he said back to her, before waving and closing the door behind him.

April watched as Andy made his way up the walk to where Ann and Mark were talking, both turning sharply when he approached. Ann had her arms crossed, her face looking neutral even from the distance April was viewing them from, and Mark’s hands were tucked into his pockets. In the rearview mirror, she glanced Andy one more time. He was standing next to Ann, and he didn’t look happy at all. She diverted her attention back to the road.

As April drove away, she realized that she felt genuinely bad for Andy. His life was practically being laid out for him, based on things _other_ people wanted. No one should be ever be forced into something they didn’t want to do. That much she knew from personal experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Smile Like You Mean It" by the Killers


	4. Flaws

April sat in her usual seat in the unoccupied desk at the Parks Department. Clutching a thermos of coffee that she remembered to bring this time, she was grateful for each caffeinated sip as she yawned her way through the morning. Staying out as late as she did with Derek and Ben was a bad idea. Not to mention, boring…all they did was drive around, go drinking, smoke some weed and grab a bite to eat. She didn’t get home until three. Her so called “boyfriend” had spent the majority of the time talking to Ben, anyway. Maybe it was time to dump him after all. 

“You feeling okay, April?” Donna peered at her from across the room.

Out of all the people in the Parks Department, Donna was the only one who knew about April’s appointments with Chris, her medications to help her stay afloat, and other things in her past and personal life she’d never shared with anyone else. April trusted her, and that was a rare thing.

“I’m fine,” April rubbed her forehead. “Just out late last night…”

“With those two friends of yours?” Donna narrowed her eyes.

“Donna, I know you don’t like them—“

“Correction—I _hate_ them.”

“I haven’t hung out with them in a few days, and we were bored,” April clicked around on her computer, doing some odds and ends work for Leslie. “Plus, Derek is sorta my boyfriend, so…yeah.” Her exhaustion was inhibiting her ability to argue back.

“April, I’m telling you this because I’m your friend. Dump his ass. That guy’s been nothing but neutral toward you since you met him. I don’t like the way he treats you, which is to say, he treats you like you’re barely there. You deserve better…like a guy who’s not dating another guy _while_ he’s dating you. Move on.” Donna shook her head and returned to her work.

April was about to retort, but was distracted as Leslie arrived, fresh off a morning meeting. She had the “I just gave a presentation” glow about her that typically followed public speaking.

“Morning April,” Leslie smiled at her as she deposited her things in her office. 

“Morning,” April mumbled, sipping her hot beverage carefully.

“Can I see you for a minute?” Leslie called her again, sticking her head out of her office doorway. She looked apprehensive.

April thought it odd that Leslie look any less than chipper. Regardless, she slinked into the office and took a seat, closing the door behind her.

Leslie sat at her desk, her hands clasped together in front of her as she looked at April. Nearly ten whole seconds passed without a word. Then, clearing her throat, Leslie smiled, and took a breath.

“So, I heard you and Andy hung out the other day,” she started slowly, tapping her fingers on her red binder.

April felt herself bristling slightly, but she kept her composure. She tried to remember something Chris told her about not overreacting in these types of situations. She hated when people tried to pry into her personal life, no matter who it was. 

“Yep, the other day…I shot some photos of him and his band, and he repaid me by taking me out for a burger at JJ’s.” She could almost see Chris giving her a thumbs up for that civil response.

“I see,” Leslie looked down at her desk. “Ann mentioned it to me…we talk all the time, so…it came up.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” Leslie sighed. “April, please don’t take this the wrong way. I know you aren’t the type of girl who’d interfere with another couple’s relationship. I know that, for a fact—”

April opened her mouth and sat up straighter, immediately feeling herself getting worked up. _So much for Chris’ technique…_ “Then why are you even bringing this up…as though I’m in trouble or something? Like it’s a bad thing?” There was a definite edge to her voice, and she could tell Leslie wasn’t expecting it. The older woman backed up a bit, her eyes suddenly wide.

“No, no April, I didn’t mean anything by it! Ann just thought it odd that you dropped Andy off at night, after spending all afternoon with him, you know…I mean, you two barely know each other.”

“So?”

“So, Ann wanted me to find out if everything was OK, that’s all…” Leslie finished, twirling a pen in her hands. “If there was something you needed, or—“

“Ann can’t ask me herself?” April scoffed, shaking her head. “What the hell does she think I am? I’d never get in the middle of someone’s relationship. You of all people should know this…” April stood up. “Andy’s a great guy. I was doing him a favor. He doesn’t have a job, so I thought I would help out a friend. Sure is awesome when you try to help a person out and get shit for it,” she added bitterly, turning to walk out the door.

“April, wait!” She could hear Leslie hurrying to catch up behind her. 

She turned sharply and faced the blonde, her head spinning. She was getting nauseous. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have doubted you,” she said. “Ann wasn’t even mad at you…she was actually frustrated with Andy…so, you’re fine.”

April frowned. “But why was she frustrated with _him?_ He didn’t do anything wrong!” April couldn’t understand how Ann could be so frustratingly dim. She’d only known Andy for a little over a week, and he was already one of the most genuine people she’d ever met. Apparently his own girlfriend couldn’t see the good in him.

“Ann’s just…I don’t know,” Leslie sighed. “She’s used to having everything a certain way. It’s just the way she’s been brought up. She’s an amazing, wonderful person, but she’s got flaws, just like the rest of us. She’s just a little insecure sometimes.”

April bit her lip. Sure, everyone had flaws. Some were worse than others, and if this was Ann’s _flaw,_ then she should consider herself lucky.

“Anyway, I hope you aren’t mad at me,” Leslie finished, reaching her hand out to pat April’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to get you so upset.”

April rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not mad at you,” she mumbled, staring at the ground. Leslie looked appeased, reaching out to give April a light hug. April didn’t reciprocate, but she knew Leslie wasn’t expecting her to. She was about to walk away, about to pack up and head home for the day, when suddenly she had an idea. “Hey Leslie?”

Leslie turned just as she was heading back into her office. “What’s up?”

“Are there any jobs available here?”

“For who? For you?” Leslie’s face lit up. “Oh April! I’d love to give you a job!” She beamed at her, hopping up and down twice. “I thought you’d never ask! From day one I knew you had the potential to—”

“No, not for me,” April interrupted, shaking her head. “For Andy.”

“For Andy?” Leslie looked thoughtful. “He has to start school in the spring…”

“He’s gonna be taking night classes, so he’ll be free during the day. Even part-time, it’s something,” April shrugged. “You know, just to help him out. He can’t even afford to buy Ann a Christmas gift.”

“Hmmm,” Leslie crossed her arms, tapping her fingers on her elbow. “Give me some time. Let me get back to you.” She smiled, and turned to go back to work.

April nodded, and did the same. As she returned to her desk, she noticed Donna was watching her, and she did her best to pretend to be busy. Her stomach felt knotted, and since she was already thinking of packing up to leave, now might be a good time.

Before heading out, she took out her phone and typed Andy a quick message:

_“Hey, I’ll just take care of the pictures myself and get them to you by next week. Does that sound good?”_

That was it. Simple plan, problem solved. Maybe Leslie would come through and get him a job. Either way, it was probably easier to do the pictures on her own, away from any potential drama. If Ann was going to stick her nose in April’s business every time she hung out with Andy, then forget it. She didn’t need that stress right now…or ever, honestly. Putting her phone down, she resumed packing up her things. She was interrupted by the text chime a minute later.

His message was short: _"Oh, OK.”_ Then another second later, he added, _“Was hoping we could hang out again. Guess I’ll talk 2 you soon?”_

April couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t want to cause any problems between him and Ann, but at the same time…she honestly didn’t care about Ann at all. Also, why should she give up a new friend just because his stupid girlfriend thought it was weird that they hung out?

She packed up and left the building, dialing his number as she walked to the parking garage. He picked up after the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Andy…it’s April,” she said, leaning against the car door.

“Hey!” she could practically hear the smile in his voice. “What’s up?”

“Just getting out of work,” she pushed some hair behind her ear.

“Listen,” he said. “I really wanted to hang out and go over the pictures with you. I mean, I get it if you don’t wanna, you know…you’re busy. And I know you’ve got a boyfriend, so if he’s not cool with it—“

“Wait—“ she interrupted him. “How do you know I have a boyfriend?” She never once mentioned Derek around Andy, partly because it never came up.

“Uh…Ann told me.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line as April listened to him breathing. Anger flared up in her chest, and she swallowed hard. So now Ann was talking about her private life too?

“Well…he’s sort of my boyfriend, yeah,” she began. “But believe me, I’d love to hang out and go over the pictures.”

“Oh good,” he sounded relieved. “For a second I thought I might’ve said something that offended you the other night or something.”

“Not at all,” she said. “What day works for you?”

“Ann and I are visiting her family this weekend,” he said, and April could tell he was thinking. “How about next Wednesday?”

“Sure,” she said, typing a note to herself to remember. “I’ll get back to you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he said happily. “See you soon, April.”

“Oh—Andy?”

“Yeah?”

She paused, and took a deep breath. She felt stupid even saying it, but she honestly felt like she’d gotten him in trouble and didn’t feel good about it.

“I hope you and Ann—“ she stopped again. She was about to apologize for any type of argument between Andy and Ann she may have caused, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Mostly because she didn’t know what to say. _Or was it because she didn’t want to?_ “I hope you guys have a great time.”

“Thanks!” he said.

“Bye.”

 

The week moved along slowly after her phone call with Andy. She found herself looking forward to nothing else but their upcoming meeting, and she tried her best to remind herself that it was just that: a meeting. They were fast becoming friends, it was true, and she also had to remind herself that that’s all they’d ever be: friends. He was getting married in a couple of years to Ann, and that was that. 

There was just something different about Andy, so much so that April just couldn’t help but feel a strange attraction to him. His goofy smile, his unwavering optimism, his confidence…he was a ball of positive energy who’s main goal was to make the girl in his life happy. He contrasted so much with the way she felt every single day that he was like fresh air whenever she got to be around him. She actually _enjoyed_ being around him, and there was no one else in the world who she felt that way about. April hated to admit it, but she was actually jealous of Ann. 

There was another recent development in her life, and that was her breakup with Derek. Maybe it was something Donna had said that day in the Parks Department, but one night while the three of them (because wherever Derek went, Ben went too) were out doing the same old, boring stuff, April decided it was time to cut the useless connection once and for all, and break up with her boyfriend. He really didn’t seem to care. April certainly didn’t. She actually felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

Her therapy with Chris was the same as usual, although he seemed very happy that she made a new friend and recommended meeting a few more new people to form a “close circle” as he called it, to which she abruptly refused.

Meanwhile, Donna was so happy about the Derek break up, that she took out two shot glasses and a well-hidden bottle of gin one morning at work, pouring both herself and April a shot when Leslie wasn’t looking.

“April, it’s definitely time,” Donna said, after downing a shot and pouring herself another, “for you to get back out there. You’re young, hot, and you’ll have no problem finding a man.”

“Thanks, I think,” April smiled and drank her gin quickly, her throat burning as she put down the glass, refusing another.

She didn’t know why she kept checking her phone. It wasn’t like Andy was going to call or text her while he was with his fiancé visiting his future in-laws. Still, whenever her phone so much as vibrated, she snatched it up to check it. Usually it was just a stupid e-mail or reminder.

Finally, the Tuesday before the meeting arrived, and April was impatient and jittery at work. Tapping her feet, she could barely concentrate on the photos she was editing for Leslie, when the door to the department opened. Everyone turned around as Andy walked in, wearing a short-sleeved work shirt and a tie. The hair on his head and face was still scruffy, but slightly combed, and instead of dress shoes he wore an old pair of sneakers with his work pants, but aside from those things he definitely looked the part. April’s chest fluttered and she immediately smiled when she saw him. _Leslie got him the job._

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Donna smirking at her.

“Hi,” he said happily, looking around. “Sorry I’m late, I—“ he paused, noticing April for the first time. “April! Hey!”

“Hey,” she said shyly, grinning like a stupid kid.

“I didn't know you actually came in here to work!”

“I do sometimes, yeah,” she nodded at him.

“Gonna be comin’ in a lot more _now,”_ Donna mumbled under her breath, while April shot her a look that could kill.

Leslie stepped out of her office at all the voices, beaming at Andy when she saw him.

“Andy! Welcome to the Parks Department, my new assistant!”

“Thanks,” Andy grinned and fingered his tie, flattening it out on his shirt.

“Let me introduce you,” Leslie took him by the arm and turned him to face each person as she introduced them, one by one. “You know April, of course.”

“Of course!” Andy inclined his head at April and flashed his toothy smile at her. She felt her cheeks grow hot as she gave him a casual wave. _Stop…he’s just a friend._

“This is Donna, my office manager.”

“Hello there, handsome,” Donna extended her hand, winking at him. “Anything you need, just come see me and I’ll get you all sorted out.”

“Sweet,” Andy nodded.

“This is Jerry…he does…something, I really don’t know what.”

“Hello!” An older, portly man with a large stomach and graying hair extended his hand and Andy shook it. “Nice to meet—“

“Yeah yeah, Jerry,” Leslie cut him off and led Andy through the rest of the floor, introducing him to some other people April didn’t know. She watched them disappear and waited, breathing in deep and exhaling.

“Ooh, you’ve got it bad for him, huh?” Donna whispered, turning her head to look at April. “Why didn’t you tell me you already found someone?”

“I didn’t _‘find someone,’”_ April whispered back. “He’s engaged to Leslie’s best friend! And I don’t have it ‘bad for him,’ or whatever,” she hissed.

Donna just laughed. “Sure, April,” she shook her head. “Whatever you say.”

“…so I’m gonna put you right here, at this desk next to my office,” Leslie re-entered the room with Andy and led him to the desk adjacent to her office window. He sat in the chair and looked around. “All you really need to do is answer phones and stuff, and help me schedule my appointments and meetings, take messages…those types of things.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Andy nodded. “Hey, thanks again for this opportunity.”

“Well, you should thank April too, she’s the one who recommended you.”

April froze and looked up. Andy was staring at her with unblinking eyes, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“It…was nothing,” April shrugged.

Andy just continued staring at her, idly swiveling back and forth in his new chair, and she found it increasingly difficult to continue working for the rest of the afternoon.

 

At five o’clock, the staff packed up and began to leave one by one. April had stuck around, mostly because she was curious to see how Andy did on his first day. Aside from a few dropped calls and confusion about the scheduling system on the computer, he seemed like he got the hang of it. She was about to head out the door, when Andy stopped her.

“Hey, April,” he looked up from his desk, where he appeared to be trying to log out of the Parks computer system.

“Hey,” she said casually, smiling at him.

“I just wanna say thanks…you know,” he stopped clicking the buttons for a moment and looked directly into her eyes. “You have no idea how much this job means to me.”

“Sure dude,” she nodded, trying to ignore the rapid pumping in her chest. “It’s no problem at all.”

“I’m super glad we get to work together, too,” he added, catching her off guard. “This will be awesome.” He resumed trying to log out, while April replayed his words over and over in her head, feeling her face get that all-too-familiar warm sensation. Realizing he was still having trouble, she reached down, placing her hand on top of his on the keyboard.

“Here,” she said softly, leaning down so she was level with his face. She hoped he couldn’t feel how warm she felt. Or was that _his_ cheeks? Either way, she heard him swallow, hard. She moved his hands, showing him how to log out, only removing her own when the task was done.

“Th-thanks,” he stuttered, his voice dry.

“Sure,” she nodded, turning quickly to grab her bag. “Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” he grinned, watching her disappear out the door. “Bye April.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Flaws" by Bastille


	5. Stubborn Love

When Wednesday morning arrived, April tried her hardest not to appear overexcited. She was already getting funny looks for being one of the first people to arrive at the office. Donna’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when she walked into the department and saw April already seated at her desk. Even Jerry had something to say, though April dismissed whatever comment he made with an eye roll and a head shake.

“April, this is great!” Leslie beamed when she saw April walk through the door. Leslie was always first to arrive. No matter how early you thought you were, Leslie Knope would always get there before you. “Wonderful initiative,” she winked.

“Yeah, um…thanks.” April kept turning her head toward the door. Andy would be arriving any minute, so she busied herself with some photo edits while she waited. It didn’t make it easier that the photos were of his band, either. Thankfully, it was only another ten minutes before he showed up.

“Hey, April,” Andy’s voice called to her, causing her to spin quickly in her chair. He looked rather disappointed as he made his way to his desk.

He was covered in a light dusting of snow. December was upon them and the temperature had been cold enough that the first flakes had begun falling early this year. April watched the way his hair glinted with little crystals of ice as he moved. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were pink from the cold.

She put aside her computer and smiled at him. “Hey! What’s up?”

Andy twisted his hands in his pockets and his eyes shifted back and forth as he stared at the ground. 

“I…uh…hate to cancel on you and all,” he started, clearing his throat. “But I can’t get together to go over the band pictures tonight.”

_Dammit._

“Oh,” she mumbled, feeling as disappointed as she probably looked. “Um, it’s okay…no big deal.” _Actually, it was._ She had no business feeling so disappointed, but she did. _Was it something I did? Maybe he realized he doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore. Maybe it’s too weird for him. This is what happens when you let yourself get attached, April…nothing but disappointment._

“Yeah, I…have to go to this thing with Ann,” he said miserably, and April’s mind raced for a second about what that could mean. “Some sort of…counseling or whatever,” he added softly, genuinely sounding upset. “I’m sorry.”

_Counseling..._ Whatever that meant…it didn’t sound good to April. She made a note to casually bring it up around Leslie to see if she could pull any information. Ann _did_ tell Leslie everything, after all. But he _was_ sorry he couldn’t meet up, so perhaps she was wrong in thinking he wasn’t interested in the first place.

“It’s fine, Andy,” she said, even though it wasn’t, because she’d been looking forward to this for two weeks. “We can do it another time.”

“Cool,” he said, turning to sit at his own desk. He sighed as he took off his jacket.

April wondered to herself if he was more upset about not being able to get together, or about the prospect of counseling with Ann…and _then_ she started to feel guilty for even trying to compare the two. It was none of her business, and she honestly shouldn’t care. _Stop caring._

Then she had an idea, and wanted to smack herself for not thinking of it sooner. At least it was something of a good idea for her, anyway.

“Andy?”

He glanced up at her, waiting. He looked nervous, almost like he was expecting her to be mad at him for cancelling on her. She softened immediately when she saw his eyes, and how sad he looked. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been through a similar situation several times before; if Ann would get angry at him whenever he had to cancel on her.

“Why don’t we just go over the pictures during lunch?” She asked casually, as though she hadn’t been just contemplating a way to get him to hang out with her.

“Oh…” Andy looked down, and then back at her. “Yeah, that’s…a great idea,” he smiled and his face lit up, the way it was supposed to look.

“Great,” she nodded.

 

“Okay, I love this one here,” Andy pointed, as they sat in an abandoned office on the decrepit third floor three hours later. Commissary burgers and fries littered the desk, as well as several cans of soda pop from the vending machine in the courtyard. 

“Mm,” April nodded, taking a sip. “You look totally grunge-rock in that one,” she chuckled.

“Sweet!”

“What about this one?”

“Why does my face look so funny in that one?” Andy asked, pointing to his mouth in the photo. “I look like I’m trying to hold in a laugh.”

“It was because you were trying too hard to pull a serious rockstar face, and I kept laughing at you, and then you kept laughing too,” April reminded him, and he smiled at the memory.

“That’s right,” he laughed. “You were right in my face with the camera, so I could see you laughing behind the lens.” He browsed through a few other photos of the whole band as April watched, marking down the ones he liked. “You did a super awesome job, by the way.”

She felt herself blush, and tried to hide it by combing some hair out from behind her ears. “Thank you.”

A few minutes of silence passed between them. April checked her watch. They only had five more minutes before they technically had to get back, but really, who cared? Certainly not her, and Leslie was away at a meeting for the next hour, so Andy could afford to be a little bit late too.

“Hey, um,” April rolled her lips. “Can I ask you something? It’s sorta personal, but since…you know, we’re friends…I wanna see if there’s something I can do to help you.”

“What’s up?” He looked up at her expectantly.

“Is everything okay with you and Ann?” she asked in one long breath. 

Andy shifted uncomfortably. She almost didn’t expect him to answer by the way he kept averting his eyes and tapping his fingers together. Finally, after a lengthy pause, he spoke up.

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, I love her, but…sometimes I feel like she’s nothing but disappointed in me.”

“Why?” April leaned closer, feeling sorry for him. Her dislike for Ann was growing with each passing second.

“She’s just always telling me I’m doing things wrong…she didn’t want me to take this job for some reason…and when we visited her parents, all we did was listen to her dad tell hospital stories with this guy named Justin. Ann used to date him in medical school and he’s a doctor now too. Her dad invited him over for dinner because he was in town. And her annoying brother and sister are the most awkward and uncomfortable people on the face of the planet.”

“Dude, that sucks,” April replied sympathetically.

“Then,” Andy continued, seemingly unable to stop now that he’d started. “She tells me she’s meeting that Mark Bandana-quits, or Benfana-ditz, or whatever his name is, because his company wants to offer her money to buy our house, to use the land for the complex he’s trying to build. When I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea, she got mad at me and told me we could use the money, and that _she_ owns the house, and she can make her own decisions. I mean, of course she can, totally, but I just don’t like that guy.”

April nodded slowly, staring at her hands.

“Now she said she wants us to go to some pre-marital counseling. The first one is tonight,” he finished on that somber note, rubbing his forehead with his hands.

“You can do this, Andy,” April reassured him. “I totally believe in you, dude.”

“Yeah?”

She smiled at him. “Yeah,” she patted his shoulder. “And if that Mark guy comes to bother you guys again, I’ll find out where he lives and I’ll put a raccoon in his basement.”

“Ha! You’re seriously one of the coolest people I’ve ever met,” Andy shook his head happily, and April pretended like that wasn’t the one sentence that made her whole week worth it.

 

When she woke the following morning, April wasn’t expecting to feel like she was hit with a ton of bricks. She’d had bad experiences with the flu before, once even landing herself in the hospital. This was a bad enough bout that Diane demanded she come down to the main floor of the house and rest, where she could be properly cared for under her step-mom’s watchful eyes.

One day eventually turned into five days, and April had to miss her weekly appointment with Chris, call out of work with Leslie, and pretty much stay wrapped in a blanket and eat nothing but soup for the majority of her sickness.

She hadn’t heard from Andy, let alone anyone else aside from Donna, and she thought about texting him several times to find out how his counseling had gone. Then her head would get the better of her, reminding her that it was _his_ business. Sometimes she’d get a headache from thinking too much. Finally the flu medicine would kick in, and she’d drift off into one of her weird sleeps.

“April?” Diane’s voice came to her, soft and fuzzy as she woke from one of her fevered dreams. She felt cold and miserable, and wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. She was on the couch, wrapped in the same warm blanket she’d clung to for the past few days.

“Hmm?”

“April,” Diane walked into the room, and April could hear heavy footsteps following. “Someone’s here to see you.”

“Is it Orin? Tell him I don’t want that weird herbal thing he made…last time it made me feel worse.”

“It’s not Orin,” Diane replied.

April sat up groggily and turned, facing the hallway. Andy was standing slightly behind Diane, his hands folded in front of him. He had snowflakes in his hair again. The sight of him brought an instant warmth to her chest.

He smiled at her, and she gave him a tiny one in return.

“Hey,” she croaked out. Her voice was practically useless in this state. “What’re you doing here?”

He walked around and sat on the chair next to the couch, leaning toward her. “I uh…I was wondering where you’ve been at work, you know? Donna finally told me you’ve been out sick with the flu so…I brought you something.”

He reached into his coat pocket and handed her a little box of green tea. It was the same kind she liked to drink at work. He’d actually paid close enough attention to remember. She took it carefully from him, a stupid grin on her face the entire time.

“I know you like tea,” he continued, shyly, rubbing his knees with his gloved hands. “I see you drink it all the time at work, and I thought it might help you feel better.”

“Thank you,” April said softly. “Really, this helps.”

His face spread into a grin, and he looked thrilled at her words of approval. Standing up again, he sighed. “Well, I guess I’d better get going…gotta get to work.”

“Oh…of course, yeah,” she said, secretly wishing he could stay with her instead. “How’s the office doing?”

“Boring without you,” he shook his head. “Feel better, okay?”

“Okay,” she met his outstretched hand with a meager high-five.

“Bye April,” Andy turned and walked out the door, and April sank back into the pillows of the couch, hugging the box of tea to her chest.

 

“April, Diane and I were wondering…”

Her dad had been quiet for most of dinner the next evening. Apparently the whole issue with Morningstar wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped. April ended up taking one more day off work, and joined her family at the dinner table with a cup of green tea, fresh out of the box Andy had given her. Tom and his girlfriend Lucy also joined them that evening, so the conversation definitely wasn’t lacking.

April looked up at her father, sipping the hot beverage.

“Have you decided what you want to do for Christmas this year?”

“Oh…um…yeah, I have actually,” she pushed her food around with her fork. “I’m gonna stay here in Pawnee.”

“You sure?” Ron raised his eyebrows at her. “Diane’s family has been asking for you. It’s been a while.”

“No, I’m sure,” she said, glancing at Diane apologetically. “I’m sorry Diane…I just wanna stay here.”

Every other year the Swanson family would fly out to stay with Diane’s family for the holidays. April and Tom were always welcome, having grown up knowing the Lewis family for most of their lives. This year, April just wasn’t feeling it.

“Honey, who are you going to spend the holidays with?” Diane looked concerned. “We can’t just go away knowing you’ll be alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” she promised them, nodding. “Seriously, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Tom assured their parents. “She’s an adult, she can take care of herself.”

“Yeah,” April agreed, jumping on Tom’s words to strengthen her case.

“Tommy’s keeping the restaurant open on Christmas Eve, so we’re staying in town. We’ll be around.” Lucy added.

April always liked Lucy, and often wondered how Tom managed to score someone as cool as she was. She was pretty, with tan skin and short dark hair, and the biggest smile. Tom had been dropping all sorts of hints about proposing to her sometime soon. April loved to tease him about it.

“Well, far be it from me to tell my twenty-three year old daughter what to do,” Ron shook his head. “One rule though, Tommy, should you choose to stop by and check on your sister.”

Tom spun his head around mid-bite to look at his father.

“I don’t want that clown friend of yours, Jean-Ralphio, or whatever his name is, anywhere near my house.”

April still had no idea who this “Jean-Ralphio” guy was, only that he was her brother’s friend and he was horribly obnoxious. 

“Got it,” Tom agreed quickly.

 

If there was one thing April wasn’t expecting when she arrived back at work the following day, it was to walk into the Parks Department and come face-to-face with a giant banner reading “Welcome Back April!” complete with a blown-up photo of her face.

Confetti flew through the air and streamers decorated every desk as Leslie pulled her into a tight hug.

“Oooh, April! We missed you so much! It’s not the same here without our favorite photographer.”

April grimaced over Leslie’s shoulder, half-heartedly patting the blonde woman on the back as the other Parks employees looked on.

“Thanks,” April mumbled. She saw Donna and Jerry wearing party hats, and a large cake that also had her face on it. The person she really hoped to see was Andy, but there appeared to be no sign of him. “Wow Leslie…you really shouldn’t have.” _Really, really shouldn’t have._

Donna sauntered over beside April, and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“He’s here, you know…”

April turned sharply and made a face at Donna. “Who?”

“Don’t gimme that, you know who,” Donna laughed. “He’s in the conference room with his girlfriend.”

April blinked twice. “I—okay. Thanks.”

“He’s been pretty miserable around here lately,” Donna continued in a whisper. “Part of me wonders whether it’s because him and Ann are having problems…or because you’ve been gone.”

Her stomach felt all tingly just then. “I doubt it’s because of me—“

“Don’t be so sure,” Donna said. “When three days passed and you still hadn’t shown up, he came up to me to ask if I’d heard from you, and if you were all right. I told him you had the flu. Then he asked me to write down your address because he’d forgotten it. He’d been off since then, not his usual self.”

“That could mean anything though, Donna,” April mumbled. As much as she wished Donna was right, she doubted it was all about her.

“He cares about you, April. He truly does. Take it from a woman who’s had _plenty_ of guys fawn over her in various ways—he genuinely cares.” 

“How long have they been in there?” April looked toward the conference room door.

“Half hour,” Donna said. “Doesn’t sound good.” She walked back to her desk to resume her work.

Taking her usual seat at the round table in the center of the room, April pulled out her computer just as the two of them walked out of the conference room. Looking up, April’s heart skipped a beat when she saw Andy. When she saw Ann following him, the temporary high faded almost instantly. There was no denying, however, the way Andy’s face lit up when he saw her.

“April!” he beamed. “Welcome back!”

“Thanks,” she said softly.

Ann looked at Andy quickly and then at April, and smiled pleasantly. “Glad you’re feeling better, April. Heard you were a bit under the weather.”

“I had the flu,” April muttered. “I wasn’t ‘under the weather,’ I was pretty much immobile for a week. I puked like a hundred times.”

“Right, well…glad you're back, anyway,” Ann added stiffly. Turning to Andy, she mumbled something to him, and he nodded back at her before she headed for the door. “See you guys later. Les, I’ll call you.”

“Bye Ann!” Leslie called after her best friend from her office.

Andy pulled up a chair next to April and immediately started asking her questions. She abandoned all thoughts of editing photos and gave him her undivided attention.

“You feeling okay?” he asked, staring directly into her eyes and making her chest burn with some insane heat she could no longer control. “If you get cold, you can borrow my hoodie.”

“Yeah,” she said honestly. “I feel loads better. The tea really helped. Thanks again.”

“No problem,” Andy’s smile was huge as he tapped his fingers on the desk.

April could feel Leslie staring at her from across the room. She opened her laptop and pretended to get to work.

“Hey,” she remembered suddenly. “How did the counseling go? You know? With you and Ann? Good, I hope.” The last part was a complete and total lie. She hated to admit it, but it was true.

“Oh, that,” Andy averted his eyes and shrugged. “Dunno, honestly. We went twice.”

“Ah,” April rolled her lips and nodded. “Well, don’t lose hope.”

“What’s new with you?” Andy asked, leaning his head on his hand.

“Nothing really,” April twirled her pen in her hand. “I broke up with my boyfriend last week…right before I got sick.”

“Really?” 

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but April liked to believe that Andy looked the slightest bit pleased as his eyes widened at the news.

“Yeah,” she said. “It wasn’t working out.”

“Too bad,” Andy said softly.

“Yup.”

“You don’t seem too upset about it,” Andy grinned.

“I’m not. He wasn’t a good boyfriend. Not to me, anyway,” she rolled her eyes and returned his smile.

“Andy,” Leslie’s voice rang out from her office. Andy turned quickly.

“What’s up boss?”

“We’ve got to go to that meeting in five minutes,” she held up five fingers so he could see from his seated position.

“Got it,” he nodded. “Well, I’m gonna go…um, get a notepad to take notes.”

“Are you supposed to take notes at Leslie’s meetings?” April asked as Andy stood up.

“Dude, I have no idea _what_ I’m supposed to do at the meetings,” he admitted sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “But I do it anyway.”

April let out a tiny little laugh as he turned to walk away. She never thought she’d admit it, but she was actually really glad to be back at work. She supposed there was a first time for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Stubborn Love" by the Lumineers


	6. Somewhere Only We Know

It was a strange feeling having the house completely to herself, knowing it would remain that way for an entire week. April’s family left two days before Christmas, leaving behind some presents for her and an envelope of money that she’d initially refused, until her father made her promise to at least keep it for emergencies if she wasn’t going to spend it. 

It’d begun snowing early in the evening, and according to weathermen it was going to continue for long into the night. Perfect weather for staying in and doing absolutely nothing, which was precisely her plan. This was going to be the most relaxing holiday she’d ever had.

April put the teapot on and flopped onto her couch, idly browsing through her phone while she waited. She hadn’t had any new photography projects in a week, so her visits to the Parks Department had been few and far between for the last several days. A tiny part of her wondered if Leslie was purposefully not giving her projects…simply to keep her and Andy separated. 

They’d become good friends. April couldn’t understand why that was so difficult for Leslie to grasp. Then again, Ann was probably whispering who knows what into her bestie’s ear, and Leslie probably thought she was being the loyal friend trying to protect their relationship. April shook her head in disgust at the thought.

Unfortunately, on a much deeper level, it was causing all kinds of anxiety.

“So, let me get this straight,” Chris had said to her at their last meeting. “You and Andy, you’re friends. You think your boss is trying to keep you apart?”

“Yes,” she’d repeated for the third time. Chris liked to repeat things over and over. It was infuriating when you just wanted to get to the point. “I’m just…I dunno, I’m kinda freaking out because I haven’t had work for a while and I don’t want people to think there’s something weird going on. We’re just friends.”

“April, I want you to focus on what _you_ need,” he’d said seriously. “If this Andy person is causing too much stress and anxiety, then maybe you should lay low for a little while. Try to branch out and meet some other, newer people. The last thing we want is for you to regress, especially after all the progress you’ve made in the last two years.”

“I don’t want to meet other people,” she’d told him stubbornly. “Why should I stop hanging out with him because of made up assumptions?”

“Are you feeling more depressed when you spend time with him?”

“No,” she’d replied. “The opposite…I’m feeling great.”

Now, April sipped her tea, about to turn on the TV when she heard the loud ringing chime of the doorbell from the first floor. 

Her heart jumped in her chest. Unless it was Tom checking in on her like he’d promised, she had no idea who it could be. She doubted very much that her brother would come the very first night when her family hadn’t even been gone a full twelve hours. April hurried to the window, her heart pounding, and glanced into the street. No car could be seen.

She tiptoed down to the second floor and waited. The doorbell rang out a second time.

Hurrying now to the first floor, she finally reached the front door and looked through a side window. There was definitely someone standing out there…large footprints were leading up the path to the house.

“Who is it?” she called loudly, grabbing a fireplace poker carefully and holding it at her side.

“April! It’s me, Andy!”

April dropped the metal poker in shock and hurriedly opened the front door. Andy was standing in the doorway wearing a heavy coat and sneakers, and he was covered in snowflakes. He had a backpack on one shoulder and a guitar case in his hand.

“Andy? What—why are you here?”

“I’m sorry,” he said slowly, looking upset. She noticed right away that his eyes were red and tired-looking, and he was shivering. “Can I…just come in for a minute?”

“Oh…um, yeah of course…sorry,” she shook her head. “I’m just surprised to see you.”

He stepped over the threshold and put down his bag and guitar, taking his coat off and shaking the snow off his body like a large dog. “I uh…I didn’t mean to just show up like this, you know, unannounced. I would’ve called first, but I lost my phone.” 

“Did you walk here?” April asked incredulously, checking again for a car before she closed the door behind him.

“No,” Andy shook his head, shivering again. “Burly dropped me off.” He glanced at the fire poker and grinned. “Were you gonna hit me with that?”

“No,” she chuckled. “I’m here alone, and I had no idea who you were, so I wanted to be prepared.” She stared at him for a few more seconds before ushering him into the house. “Hey, why don’t you move away from the door. It’s so cold out,” she said, leading him to the living room.

“Thanks,” he said gratefully.

April looked at him closely. The longer she looked, the more she realized that he looked terrible. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were wrinkled. His shoes were soaked from the snow and his hands were raw and cold.

“Come with me,” she said, shouldering his bag and leading him to the stairs. 

“Where’re we going?”

“My apartment,” she said firmly. “I have a little space up on the third floor, and it’s the warmest room in the whole house. I’m always cold, so it’s perfect for me.”

Andy followed silently, not saying a word until April was pushing the door to her place open. She watched him look around curiously, taking in every detail of the space with wide green eyes.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she said. “There’s a bathroom right over there. If you need to shower…um…just feel free.”

“Thanks,” he said. His mouth was a tiny smile as he sat on the couch. “I like your place.”

“Thanks,” she said appreciatively. 

She wanted to just blurt it out and ask him what the hell he was dong here, alone, getting dropped off by one of his bandmates in the middle of a snowstorm. Instead, she handed him her hot tea and took a seat next to him. 

“Oh, no,” he shook his head. “That’s yours.”

“Andy, come on, I have a ton of it. It’ll warm you up,” she said sternly. “You look like you’re made of ice. Drink it.”

Andy just grinned his lopsided, toothy grin and took a sip from the steaming mug of tea. April waited a few minutes before she started asking questions.

“So, um, is everything okay?”

“Well, not exactly,” Andy shrugged.

April raised her eyebrows at him, waiting.

“Ann broke up with me,” he said finally, looking miserable.

April felt something in her chest swell up and burst, and suddenly she felt lightheaded. Guilty, but lightheaded…

“What? _Why?”_

Andy shrugged and shook his head. “She uh…she said she didn’t think it was gonna work out between us,” he said sadly. “I told her I didn’t want to go to business school. We got into a huge fight about it. Then she said my goals for the future just weren’t going to fit with what she wanted…and…I dunno. Next thing I know, she told me I should probably move out. I’ve been staying with Burly, but…his family is in town for the holidays now.”

“Oh man,” April said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah…and…I don’t have a car, so…I asked Burly to give me a ride, and your place was the only place I thought of.”

April nodded. In truth, she did feel sorry for him. He looked absolutely miserable, and it tugged at her in a strange way.

“Don’t worry though, I’m gonna head out,” Andy made to stand up again. “I’ll call a cab and I’ll find a hotel somewhere.”

“What? Dude, no!” April stood up quickly, grabbing his arm. “It’s a snowstorm out there. I’ve got this huge house for a week. Stay.”

“Really?” his eyes sparked as he looked down at her. 

“Yes, of course,” she tugged at his shirt sleeve. “We’ll have more fun hanging out here. My little brother has a ton of dumb video games and there’s food in the fridge…it’ll be fun.”

“April,” Andy shook his head in disbelief. “You are literally the coolest person I’ve ever met in my life.”

April felt that all-too-familiar burn in her face, but she hid it well. 

 

An hour later, Andy was fast asleep on the couch, exhausted from whatever mess of a week he’d had to deal with. April had taken his shoes and socks, placing them near the heater to warm them and help them dry. As she covered him with one of her favorite blankets, April looked closely at his sleeping form, watching his chest rise and fall. He was starting to look better than he had upon arrival.

She’d been trying to deny it for weeks now. There was something about Andy Dwyer that April would never be able to shake. From the moment they met, she hadn’t been able to completely forget him. She hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time, and it was kind of refreshing. Her mind buzzed with possibilities, but she tried to be realistic about each of them. Yes, he was here, in her home, sleeping on her couch. They were both single now…

“No,” she said to herself. _I can’t._ It couldn’t be like last time. She promised she’d never fall for anyone like that again. But why shouldn’t she? He was so different from any other guy.

April shook her head firmly and went to find them some food.

 

“April?”

She was startled out of a daydream, as she stared out the window watching the snow collect in huge piles in the yard. As she turned, she saw Andy sitting up on the couch, rubbing his eyes.

“Hey,” she smiled at him. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” he yawned. “You were right about how warm it is up here. How long was I out?”

“Couple of hours,” she shrugged. “I brought some leftovers up from downstairs.”

“Sweet, I’m so hungry.” He joined her at the tiny little table pushed up against the far window of her equally small kitchen area, and she handed him a plate.

“Hope you like steak,” she said, placing a huge slab in his dish.

“Oh man, I love it,” he said appreciatively.

“So,” she handed him utensils and a napkin, and fidgeted with her own fork in her hands. “D’you need anything?”

Andy stopped eating and chewed thoughtfully for a moment, before swallowing and looking toward his backpack. “No, I don’t think so,” he said. “I’ve got some clothes in there…the rest are still at my—Ann’s—house.”

“I mean, do you need to shower, or…” she pointed to the bathroom.

“Oh! I took one yesterday,” he explained. “So I’ll probably take one tomorrow morning.”

“Well, whatever you need.”

“April,” he said, staring at her seriously for a moment. “Really, thank you so much for letting me crash here. I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

“Don’t,” she shrugged. “Don’t thank me. You’re my friend and there was no way I was gonna let you be homeless for Christmas.”

“You’re the best,” he shook his head like he couldn’t imagine anyone could be so kind.

 

Once they’d finished the rest of the leftovers, April suggested they watch some TV. It was already pretty late; Andy’s two-hour couch nap had coincided spectacularly with the end of the day, so dinner was at an odd time.

Sitting on opposite ends of the couch, April pulled one end of the blanket over her legs, and tossed the other end to Andy.

“Here,” she said. “Warm yourself.”

“Thanks,” he replied.

She saw him staring at her, and April did her best not to blush like she seemed so apt to do whenever Andy would so much as smile at her. She’d surely want to slap herself if she could see how stupid she probably looked. 

“It’s really awesome how you have this place up here,” Andy said suddenly, looking around from his seat. “It’s like a perfect little cabin or something…only, it’s attached to the rest of your house.”

“I love it,” she said quickly. “It was originally just attic space. My dad fixed it up two years ago. I used to live in the main house downstairs…in like, a room like the other kids. I moved out for a little while to live with my ex—“ she stopped short, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Oh, you mean Derek?” Andy looked at her and nodded knowingly.

“No…not him,” she said slowly. “This was before him.”

She never talked about this with anyone. Never…except with Donna, and Chris Traeger, and the select few who knew about it.

“Oh,” Andy looked thoughtful. “Well, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

“No, it’s…it’s fine,” she said softly.

Chris’s words were rolling around in her head, _“It never hurts to open up to someone, April…”_

_Yes, it does._

She shook her head, trying to will her own voice away as her heart pumped faster. She looked at Andy.

“I dated this guy for a year or so…a couple of years ago,” she started. Andy was looking at her, his eyes unblinking as he listened. “I met him in college…he lived here in Pawnee, but his family was from out of state. Anyway, we dated for a while, and he broke up with me and moved back across the country,” she finished quickly. 

_You left out the best part._ The thought rolled around in her head bitterly as she looked down at her hands in her lap.

“That sucks,” Andy said sympathetically.

“Yeah, it did…but whatever,” she muttered. “No big deal…” _Just two years worth of therapy, but who’s counting?_

“So then you moved up here?”

“Yeah, I moved back home and up here.”

“Cool,” Andy added innocently. “Ann’s house isn’t as big as your parents’ house,” he explained. “It’s kinda small, actually. Both of us could barely fit in the bedroom. She always used to yell at me for taking up too much of the bed…” He trailed off, staring in the other direction.

April couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Yes, he’d just split from Ann. He had every right to be upset, and to mention her, and to feel shitty for as long as he needed to. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t feel shitty too.

“You guys um…really liked each other, huh?” she offered lamely.

Andy nodded slowly, turning to look at her. “We were gonna get married, so yeah, I’d say so.” 

“Sorry,” she said guiltily. “That came out wrong.”

“No, you’re fine,” he said, dismissing her comment with a wave of his hand. “It’s dumb…I’m just…I dunno, just a little confused about it all, but it’s fine.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she offered. This time she genuinely wanted him to be able to say anything he needed.

“Not really,” he sighed, scratching his neck. “Let’s watch something instead.”

“Sure.”

She flipped on the TV, browsing through the channels, when Andy spoke up again in a low voice.

“Hey April?”

“Yeah?”

“D’you think Ann broke up with me because I’m just…a failure?” He looked at her, his eyes sad and misty. “Do _you_ think I’m a failure?”

“No,” she said, more serious than she’d ever been in her entire life. “I don’t think you’re a failure at all. I think you’re one of the only people I’ve ever met who…puts other people’s needs in front of your own.”

“Thanks,” he said softly. 

He looked a little happier then, and April smiled.

 

It was well past midnight when the movie was over. They’d mostly sat through it in silence, and a few times April caught herself nodding off on her end of the couch. As the credits rolled, she stood up and looked at him.

“So…you sure the couch will be comfortable enough?”

“Yeah totally,” he nodded eagerly. “At Burly’s house, I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor. This is perfect.”

“Great,” she smiled at him. “Like I said…feel free to use whatever. Or watch more TV if you’re not tired. I’m gonna go to bed though.”

“Sounds good,” he said, stretching out, unbuttoning his shirt. “Hey, would you be terribly uncomfortable if I slept shirtless? Sometimes when I’m feeling kinda lousy, I get all sweaty, and it’s kinda gross.”

_Please do._

“Uhh,” she was at a temporary loss for words, while her mind was doing these strange spins. “Yeah sure, whatever you need, Andy.”

“Oh, thank God,” he said, pulling it up over his head. “Thanks. This feels so much better.”

She couldn’t help but stare. She was only human, right? She took a nice long look at his body, taking in whatever details she could. He wasn’t fat by any means, but there were distinct bits of muscle and chubbiness in his chest and arms that just came together in a perfect storm of a torso. 

He placed his shirt on the floor by the couch and settled down into the blanket and pillows when she realized she’d been staring for far too long. He was eyeing her curiously before she tore her own eyes away.

“Night,” she mumbled quickly, and hurried to her own bed.

“Night April!”

As she lay in bed, the only sound being Andy’s deep breathing from across the room, April stared at the dark ceiling. 

There was a guy in her apartment for the first time ever. He was sleeping on her couch. Not just any guy, but Andy…

She wasn’t quite sure how to process this whole thing yet. Too many thoughts and emotions were fighting for a prime spot in the forefront of her brain.

 _He’s single. Dumb Ann is out of the picture. Then again, what if he’s still in love with her? Maybe he’s not ready to move on. And if he was? Where does that leave her?_ She wondered if he could sense the feelings she’d developed about him, and if he had… _Did he think she was weird, or creepy, or just a horrible person for not even caring that they’d broken up?_

_Ann kicked him out. She doesn’t want him anymore._

_Was that partly her fault too?_ That thought hurt most of all, and she started to sweat. She vowed to never be that type of girl…the one who breaks up a relationship. Yet here she was, wondering if Ann was angry enough about her and Andy’s blossoming friendship that she dumped him. _Or was it because she was trying to talk to Andy about his future? Asking him why he was going to do something he didn’t want to do? Now he told Ann he didn’t want to go to business school anymore._ April was ninety percent sure that was because of her talk with him.

 _And what about Mark?_ April didn’t like the way Ann and Mark were talking together the night she dropped Andy off after their dinner at JJ’s Diner. He had no right being there while Andy was away, or talking to Ann at all about anything other than business.

She tried to stay awake, but at some point she closed her eyes, and didn’t wake up until the sun was shining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane


	7. Fix You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: This chapter and those that will follow contain more mature subject matter than the previous ones. Because this fic is not rated, I felt the need to point this out. Thanks!

She woke in the morning to the smell of burning bread. Sunlight was streaking in through the windows of her tiny apartment space, and for a moment, April forgot the events of the previous night. Then, as she sat up in bed, the sight of a tall man messing around with her kitchen appliances reminded her that she had a houseguest.

“Andy,” she yawned, as she watched him reach into the toaster with one finger, only to pull it back quickly from the heat. “What’s that smell?”

His head jerked up sharply when he heard her voice.

“Morning,” he said happily, looking at her quickly before turning his attention back to trying to retrieve the toast. “I was just making you some breakfast,” he said. “Toast is stuck…”

“There’s a button on the side, there.”

“Oh!” Andy hit the button and the toast popped up, although it was mostly burned to a crisp. “Wow, um, sorry. I’ll take that piece.”

April came over to join him in the little kitchen, as he moved around busily trying to put together breakfast. So far it looked like he’d managed some cereal and a glass of orange juice.

“Here you go!” he placed the bowl and glass on the little table in front of her with a smile.

“You didn’t have to make me breakfast,” she said. “I should be making you breakfast, you’re my guest.”

Andy waved her offer away. “That’s exactly why I’m making it! You’re so awesome for being so nice to me. I wanted to return the favor. Sorry I’m not the best cook though. I just used what I could find.”

“No, this is perfect,” she took a bite of cereal and watched him. No guy had ever made her breakfast before. “Thank you. How did you sleep?”

“Oh, great!” he said, taking a bite out of the burned toast before making a face and tossing it in the trash. “I fell right to sleep.”

“Glad to hear it,” she replied, taking another slice of bread and toasting it for him.

“I was up early, so I showered,” he said casually. “I used your shampoo. I smell like vanilla, and it’s awesome! Hope you don’t mind.”

It was so strange, seeing him there in her kitchen. He’d changed into a Mouse Rat tee shirt and sweatpants, and his hair was still wet from the water.

“No, of course not,” she shook her head. “So…today’s Christmas Eve,” April looked out the window. The snow had stopped falling and the streets were clearer, but there was still a heavy coating on the ground.

“Yeah, I thought about that,” Andy replied.

“I was thinking,” she paused, tapping the cereal spoon with her finger. “You know, Tom owns a restaurant. He’s open tonight, and I was thinking we could go there. I can eat for free…one of the perks of being the owner’s sister.”

“You get to eat for free? That’s amazing!” Andy’s eyes were wide.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I don’t do it that often, because I don’t normally go there unless it’s like, a family thing. The place is kind of fancy and I don’t like to go by myself.” She looked up at him expectantly. “So would you wanna go with me tonight?”

“Yeah, definitely!” Andy beamed. “That sounds awesome.”

“Great,” she smiled. “Tom and his girlfriend will be there for a little while, so we’ll see them too.”

“What else do you have to do today?” Andy asked. “Do you have work? Leslie said Parks would be closed until after Christmas.”

“No,” April shook her head. “I don’t have any work today.”

“So I guess we can just hang around?”

She nodded. “We can raid John’s video game collection if you want.”

“Oh hell yeah,” Andy pumped his fist in the air. 

“I’m just gonna go shower first, though. Thanks for making me breakfast,” she gave him a tiny smile as she hopped off the chair.

“Cool, I’ll probably just watch TV or something while I wait,” Andy grabbed the fresh piece of toast, flopped onto the couch and stretched out.

April stepped into her tiny bathroom and closed the door behind her. Normally she just left it open while she showered because she hated the feeling of being closed in. This whole house guest situation was still so strange to her. Andy was out there, waiting for her to join him. She was about to strip down and get in the shower, when she remembered that her clothes and everything else she needed were all in her dresser, out of the bathroom, in an apartment that is literally one giant room with no walls to close off any spaces. She’d figure that part out later. Maybe she’d just ask him not to look? The thought made her feel stupid. _What’s wrong with me? It’s not like he’s never seen a girl in a towel before._

The first thing she did was open up her medicine cabinet and take her pills. That was key to starting her day. She was glad Andy couldn’t see. Some things you just needed to keep to yourself. They were friends, it was true, but he didn’t need to know about this part of her life…not yet, anyway. Maybe she’d feel comfortable telling him someday.

_Someday if you’re still friends._

As she showered, she kept thinking about him as he was getting ready to sleep the night before. How she couldn’t stop staring at him…his huge body just stretched out on her couch. She got a weird, fluttery feeling in her stomach. _Stop that. What if he’s not over Ann? What makes you so sure he’s into you, anyway?_

_Then again, what if he is?_

She imagined what it might be like to kiss him To just take his scruffy cheeks in both her hands and just bring his mouth down to hers. He was probably a better kisser than Derek, anyway…and he was probably more muscular than he let on. She couldn’t help thinking about the way those sweatpants clung to him in all the right places. She wondered if his shower earlier was comfortable, and smiled to herself at the fact that he’d used her mildly scented body soap and shampoo.

Soap that probably ran down his chest in little rivulets, contouring to the ridges of his arms and chest… _Oh no._

April let her mind wander, and before she knew it, she was imagining him _in_ there with her, just joining her for no reason, his large hands helping to wash the shampoo out of her hair and rub the soapy foam down her back. Eventually she had to turn the cold water on to calm herself. _Oh God, what am I doing?_

Stepping out of the shower, she grabbed a towel and patted down her hair before wrapping it around her body.

Andy was still on the couch when she reemerged, and she tried to move quietly to her dresser to grab some clothing. Almost predictably, Andy turned at just the right (or wrong) moment.

He was staring at her, mouth slightly open as though he was about to say something and got distracted. She watched as his eyes quickly traveled down to her legs, still dripping water, and just as quickly back up again to her face as though he knew he shouldn’t peek. Then he turned his head around altogether and coughed. 

“Sorry,” he said, quickly looking back to the TV. “I…didn’t mean to—I’m…I can go downstairs while you get dressed.”

Andy jumped up before she could say another word. Rushing to the door and practically tripping over the threshold, he hurried out into the hallway. April heard his heavy footsteps traveling all the way to the second floor.

Okay…well, maybe it was a little weird for him after all.

 

“I really kicked your ass at those video games, Dwyer,” April laughed as the two of them drove to Tom’s Bistro, several hours and many video games later.

“Lucky chance, Swanson,” he laughed. “How d’you know I wasn’t letting you win?”

“Well, if you weren’t, I still would’ve beaten you. I’ve had so much practice at those games playing against John, so I’m basically a pro.”

April hadn’t had so much fun with another person in years. After the awkward early morning shower encounter, Andy eventually came back upstairs, and they snuck into John’s room to grab his video games. The roads were drivable again, so takeout was ordered for lunch, and they spent literally hours eating, talking and playing.

At one point, April ran out to do a quick errand while Andy took one of his “power naps” (as he called them), and when she returned he was peacefully sleeping on the couch. She’d picked up a few things for him that he didn’t remember to pack in his bag. Necessities such a toothbrush, deodorant, razor, and soap that didn’t smell like vanilla. He was grateful for all of it.

Now, after a quick phone call to Tom to let him know they were coming, they were on their way to Christmas Eve dinner.

“So, Tom’s cool with me showing up too?” Andy asked for the fifth time that evening. 

“Yes! Dude, he’s totally cool with it.” April shook her head as they pulled into the parking lot. “He’s my brother.”

The restaurant was packed. Apparently Tom was running a special menu for the holidays, with several reduced drink specials. Pawneeans clearly loved their alcohol.

“April!” Lucy waved them over immediately, gesturing to a table with a fancy sign that read “Reserved” in flourishing calligraphy.

“Hey Lucy,” April smiled at her. “I don't think you’ve met my friend Andy?”

They shook hands, and Lucy smiled warmly at Andy. “Nice to meet you, Andy,” she said. “You’ve got a great friend in April. She’s like the little sister I’ve never had, and I love her to death, so treat her well,” she added, winking at him.

“Oh, I know,” Andy laughed. “She’s the best.”

April’s heart pumped extra hard as Andy turned to give her a grin. _That damn smile was going to be the death of her._

“Tommy’s in the back, so I’ll tell him you’re here. He’s swamped, so just hang tight and someone will be right over.”

“Thanks.”

“She’s nice,” Andy remarked as they took their seats.

“Yeah, I don’t know how Tom lucked out like that,” April shook her head, checking the drink menu. “I keep pestering him about proposing. Told him he’d better hurry up before she comes to her senses.”

“This place is awesome,” Andy marveled, looking around. “I tried to take Ann here once, but then I thought it might be too expensive…” He stopped short, his sentence trailing off as he looked down at the menu.

April’s heart sank. She was probably right. There was no way he was over Ann.

“Sorry,” he said softly. “Just…um…still kinda confused about it all.”

“No, no…it’s totally fine,” she lied. “Wanna order drinks?”

“Yeah, sure…” 

“Remember, on the house,” she tapped the wine menu. “Whatever you want.”

 

Tom’s place was hard to beat. The dinner was amazing, the drinks spectacular. They’d spent half the meal laughing and making jokes about random stuff, from the way the waiters walked when they carried huge trays of food to the loud, carrying voice of the singer who’d gotten up in front of the mic to serenade the diners as they enjoyed their food. 

“Man, that dude’s loud,” Andy said, sipping his second glass of wine.

“I know,” April turned, facing the area the performer was standing. “He sounds so familiar though, almost like—“

Her heart felt like it jumped into her throat. It was Craig, the receptionist at Chris’s office. She turned around as quickly as possible, lest he see her and potentially blab in front of Andy all about her stupid doctor’s visits. “Oh…”

“You okay?” Andy looked at her. He must’ve seen the way her face probably paled.

“Yep, I’m fine.” Who knew Craig sang part-time? She’d have to bring it up with Tom.

“You look all funny,” Andy remarked.

“No, just thought I saw someone I knew,” she said quickly. “It’s nothing—“

“Oh, _hell_ no, that cannot be Andrew Dwyer!”

Andy and April both spun around at the sound of the new voice. This time it was Andy who looked uncomfortable as the newcomer made straight for their table.

Tom was walking over, but about five steps ahead of him was a tall, thin man with what April could only describe as hair that looked like he’d been electrocuted, but styled at the same time. He wore bright colors and a large turquoise scarf wrapped around his neck.

“How’s it hanging bro?” the man said, placing a hand on Andy’s shoulder and leaning unnecessarily close to his face. 

“Hey,” Andy said uncomfortably, glancing up at him.

“Jean-Ralphio,” Tom caught up to them, his arms crossed. “Man, how many times did I tell you to stay behind the bar? I can’t have you walking around talking to the customers!”

April’s eyes narrowed. This must be the Jean-Ralphio Tom would sometimes talk about. The one her father called a “clown” who was never allowed to come to their house.

“Aw, Tommy T, come on now, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hello to my ex-soon-to-be-brother-in-law, now could I?”

April looked from the bizarrely dressed newcomer, to Andy, to Tom. “Andy, you know him?” 

“April,” Andy rolled his eyes. “This is Jean-Ralphio. He’s Ann’s younger brother.”

“Half-brother, actually,” he corrected Andy. “Nice to meet you gorgeous.” Jean-Ralphio winked at her and made a kissing sound with his mouth, and April made a face at him in return. She already hated him. That was a new record. 

“Jean-Ralphio was just getting _back_ behind the bar, weren’t you?” Tom said sternly.

“Just a second, T, just a second,” Jean-Ralphio replied. “I want to catch up with Andrew here…it’s been a while.”

“You’re not letting him make the drinks, are you?” April glanced at Tom.

“No,” Tom shook his head. “He’s just back there because it’s out of the way. He’s already been kicked out of the kitchen _and_ the wine cellar.”

“Andy man, seriously, what’s the DEAL with you and my sister? One minute you’re all, _‘Hey let’s have a springtime wedding and six babies’_ to _‘We’re done, get outta my house.’_ Am I right?” He laughed loudly, and April winced.

“Yeah, well…that’s what happens when you break up.” Andy looked glum.

“I gotta tell you bro, I like you a hell of a lot better than that Mac guy.”

“Mac?” Andy turned, looking confused.

“Oh, is his name not Mac? The guy with the bad clothes. Always wears khakis. Mark—that’s it. Mark is hella boring, man.”

“Mark?” Andy’s eyes went wide. “Ann’s with _Mark_ now?”

“Well, yeah,” Jean-Ralphio nodded. “That dude’s at our Daddy’s house for Christmas Eve dinner as we speak. Good thing I booked it before—“ he cupped his hand to his mouth and sang, _“I had to pretend to like him…”_

Andy looked down at his plate sadly.

“Man, get BACK behind the bar!” Tom shouted, and this time his friend obliged, shooting them all a wink as he sprinted off, grabbing a glass of wine from a passing waiter in the process.

“Andy,” April looked across at him, feeling miserable herself. “You okay?”

He sniffed hard and looked up at her, nodding slowly. “Yeah, sure…”

“Hey, guys,” Tom looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him over with me, but he spotted Andy and just ran ahead.”

“No problem, Tom,” Andy shrugged, shaking his head and suddenly speaking very fast. “Not like Ann wasn’t gonna start dating again, right? I mean, that Mark guy, he’s got a good job, and probably has lots of money. He can get Ann that engagement ring in no time. I mean, why would she wanna be with me when she can be with someone like that, right?”

April’s stomach was in knots as she watched Andy looking miserable. _Well, there’s your answer. He’s absolutely not over her._

“Guys, I gotta get back,” Tom said slowly. “Get some dessert. You’ll feel better.”

Andy nodded. April sighed, leaning forward. Carefully, she reached across the table and placed her hand on his closed fist. He looked up at her quickly, startled when he felt her touch.

“Hey,” she said softly. “Mark sucks. You’re a million times better than that loser.”

Andy’s mouth turned up into the tiniest smile at her words. It was the best she could come up with at the moment, anyway.

“Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s get something really, really sweet and fattening for dessert.”

 

They left the restaurant forty-five minutes later with two huge bags of food from the kitchen. Tom made her promise to keep in touch so he could report back to their parents that she was doing well. However, April _did_ ask him not to mention Andy. She didn’t feel like having that conversation with her parents any time soon.

It wasn’t as though they didn’t want her to bring a guy home. She was a perfectly capable adult, but Ron was still very protective of her, especially since she’d started therapy. He and Diane were wary of anyone she spent time with. It was easier this way, for now at least. Andy would most likely be back at Burly’s by the time her family came home, anyway. That thought actually made her sad, so she tried not to think about it.

“I’m so full,” Andy sighed, holding his stomach as they drove home. “I haven’t eaten that much in a long time.”

“It’s always good there,” April said. “Tom did an excellent job with that place.”

Andy nodded in agreement, looking out the window.

“Hey,” April turned to him quickly. “You feeling okay? You know…after the whole thing at dinner?”

“Yeah,” Andy kept looking out the window. “I’m fine, I guess.”

April kept sneaking peeks at him to try and read his face. He remained neutral.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m surprised,” Andy continued. “I just thought…you know, Ann would wait a little while…give us another shot, maybe. I guess I was wrong. And _Mark?_ Really?” He shook his head in disgust.

“Yeah, that sucks,” April agreed.

Whatever she felt about Andy, she couldn’t help but hate Ann for doing what she did. As awesome as it was that Andy was single now, what kind of person does that to another person?

They made the trek up to the third floor, and April stuffed her small refrigerator full of the leftovers while Andy dug through his meager belongings to find something more comfortable to change into. It’s not like they’d dressed up to go to dinner, but April did make an effort to wear something other than jeans, and Andy…well, he pretty much had every color of plaid imaginable.

“Hey, I’m gonna change too, all right?” April pulled some clothing out of her dresser. Andy looked up at her quickly.

“Oh, let me go downstairs, I’ll get out of the way—“

“No, no, you change out here and I’ll just go in here,” she turned the doorknob and disappeared into the bathroom. As she closed the door, she backed up against it, closing her eyes and breathing hard. Why did her head feel like it was going to explode? Why the hell was she falling for him like this? _I can’t go through this again…_

When she came out several minutes later, she saw Andy standing by the mantelpiece of her rarely lit fireplace.

“Hey,” she noticed he was staring at something, and she had a feeling she knew what it was. Her heart sank a little as she walked over.

He turned his head and smiled at her, before turning his attention back to the small framed photo. “Who is this person?”

April approached him slowly, her arms crossed. “That’s my mom,” she said softly.

“You look just like her,” he marveled, studying the photograph with curious eyes. “Wow…like, almost identical.”

“Yeah,” April nodded. “That’s what everyone says. She was way prettier than me, though.”

Andy turned to her with soft eyes. “You are pretty,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, sure,” she laughed, although that didn’t exactly stop her from feeling like she was floating on air. _He called me pretty._

“What was her name?”

“Roberta,” April replied. “And that’s my middle name too.”

He picked up the photo carefully to get a closer look. In doing so, another tiny photograph fluttered to the floor, set loose from the weight of the frame that had been holding it down. April’s heart stopped as she dove to grab it, but Andy was quicker.

He picked it up, turning it over in his hands and staring at it curiously. “April,” he said, diverting his eyes to her. “What’s this?”

_Shit…shit shit shit…_

Her head was spinning, and suddenly there were two of Andy standing there, constantly blurring together and apart in slow spiraling motions. She grasped the mantle to steady herself.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, I just…this just fell down…um…here.” He handed her the black and white photograph. “What’s it a picture of? It doesn’t look like anything.”

She could lie. That would be easy. She could lie, and they could continue on with their night and Andy would be none the wiser. She could lie, and maybe he wouldn’t look at her like she was a pathetic, messed up mental case. She _could_ lie…but…deep down she knew there was no point in keeping this hidden any longer. 

_She couldn’t lie…not to him._

“It’s a sonogram photo,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.

“It’s a…what now?” Andy squinted at the photo again. “And why is Ann’s dad’s name in the corner of it?”

“It’s one of those pictures the doctor takes of your insides when you’re having a baby,” she explained, sweat beading on her neck.

“I don’t see a baby in this picture, though,” he said. “Who’s baby is it?”

“Mine,” she whispered.

His eyes widened, and she watched them travel to her stomach and back up to her face.

“Yours? Are you—“

“No,” she said quickly, feeling that telltale wetness in the corners of her eyes. “No, it _was_ my baby. It’s not anymore.”

“What d’you mean ‘was?’” He looked confused. She didn’t blame him. 

She sighed heavily. “Here, I’ll explain.” She lead him to the couch, where they both sat down. April drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, and Andy faced her. 

“So, remember when I told you I dated a guy in college for a while? And about how he moved back to his home state?”

“Yes.”

“That wasn't the full…story, or whatever…” She hadn’t told this story to anyone since Donna. That was almost a whole year ago. Andy was staring, listening intently. He was leaning forward, and she knew she had his undivided attention. “We were kinda careless I guess. I got pregnant,” she said slowly, watching his face for some sort of reaction. “Believe it or not though, I was actually a little excited about it, you know? I still don’t know why, but I felt like it would be okay.”

Andy nodded, but remained silent. She took it as a sign to continue.

“Things were actually great at first. I mean, he seemed excited too. Then he started acting weird. About two months in, he tells me he doesn’t want to have a baby after all…tells me he wants us to have time for just us…that we were going make plans to get our own house, visit all these places…all these things we couldn’t do with a baby. He told me he loved me, and he would always be there for me, and this was the best choice because we were both broke and couldn’t afford it right now. I was stupid enough to believe him, being a dumb twenty-one-year-old.”

Tears were leaking out of her eyes now. She swiped at them furiously. 

“I hadn’t told anyone yet about the baby, so we were the only ones who knew. I was a little scared about it, but I was just so sure we’d stay together. So I went to the clinic or whatever…and um…you know. No more baby,” she said, sniffing hard and shrugging her shoulders.

This time, Andy was the one who looked sad for her. He reached out and grasped her hand, gently squeezing.

“Then, I go back to his—our—place,” she continued. “I tell him, you know—“

“Wait,” Andy narrowed his eyes, looking suddenly annoyed. “He didn’t even go with you?”

“No, he didn’t,” she shook her head. “Didn’t even have the balls to fucking go with me. So, I tell him it was done, and I’m ready for us to just start our life together…and you know what he does? He tells me he didn’t think we were going to work anymore. He tells me he’s moving back home, because he wants to be back with his family.”

Andy looked horrified. His face had lost most of it’s color.

“So, he just left. He told me to move out because he wasn’t keeping the apartment anymore, and he just moved away. And guess what? He had a girl waiting for him back home the whole time.”

“April…”

“That was that,” she said, choking on the words. “So, needless to say…I sort of lost it. I went to these dark places in my head. I just…had a breakdown. Add that to the other anxiety issues I’ve had since I was a kid, and I was just this perfect little mess of a person. I still am.” She looked around, staring at everything but Andy’s face. She didn’t want to see the look he probably had. “You know that day you saw me leaving the hospital?”

Andy nodded slowly.

“I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for two years because of it,” she admitted. “For two years I’ve been a fucking mess…because I got rid of that baby for nothing and that asshole just left me. It haunts me every damn day, because I would’ve done it on my own. I would’ve found a way. I trusted him. He just didn’t want the responsibility…or me.”

“April, I’m so sorry,” Andy said softly. “I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry I even asked you, it was none of my business—“

“No, whatever…it’s fine,” she said, finally looking at him. “It’s fine, Andy.”

“Who else knows about this?”

“My parents…they’ve been supportive since the whole thing happened. They’re worried I’m gonna hit rock bottom again one of these days, so they’re always checking up on me. Tom and Donna also know. My psychiatrist obviously knows. Leslie knows about everything except the baby. Now you know too.”

“Hey,” Andy inched forward so he was closer to her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. None of that was your fault. That guy was a real piece of shit.”

April shifted on the couch so her legs were hanging off. “I’ve dated a couple of guys since then, but none lasted more than a month. I just couldn’t do it. Every time one of them tried to get too close, I’d freak out, and they’d leave. The last one was from Venezuela.” She stood up, hugging her arms to her chest. “That’s it, Andy. That was my stupid, pathetic, messy story.”

Andy stared at her sadly, the white around his eyes a diluted pinkish color. “You gonna be okay, April?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, a little hesitantly. “If it’s okay with you, I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Yeah, of course,” Andy said softly. “Um…I’ll just be here.”

She nodded and turned away. _Well, there it is._

“Hey April,” he called after her. She turned one more time to look at him, and he looked sad. “If it means anything…you really are one of the strongest people I know.”

She smiled at him, and climbed into bed. 

The only thought running through her head as she lay there was how much longer he’d hang around until he left her, just like the others.

 

That night, the nightmares arrived one after the other. It hadn’t been this bad since before she’d started therapy. Trapped in some sort of seemingly endless sleep cycle, she felt hands grabbing at her, and she pushed them away to defend herself.

“Don’t touch me…”

“April!”

She felt someone shaking her. It felt so real…there was no way she could still be dreaming.

As she woke, her surroundings slowly came into focus, and she realized she was in her own bed, in her own apartment, and everything had just been her imagination. She was sweating, breathing fast, until she heard her name again in a familiar voice.

“April,” Andy whispered, and she rolled over quickly when she felt his warm hand close over her shoulder.

He was there, kneeling beside her bed, staring at her with wide, worried eyes.

“Andy,” she sat up quickly, immediately coming face to face with his bare chest and diverting her attention back to his face. “What—do you need something?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, I just…you were yelling in your sleep,” he said quietly. “You were moving around a lot…and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He looked at the floor for a moment, and then back at her. _“Are_ you okay?”

“Yeah…I mean…I think so,” she said truthfully. “I don’t know. I just haven’t had such a rough sleep in a long time.”

“This is my fault,” he said sadly. “I never should’ve made you talk about all that stuff…”

“No,” she reached out and held his wrist, giving it a tiny squeeze. “You didn’t know. I chose to tell you. I could’ve just kept it to myself.” She sat up fully in her bed and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

Andy remained silent for a while, his face thoughtful. Finally he looked at her again, and said in barely a whisper, “Why _did_ you tell me?”

_Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Because you wouldn’t judge me for being me._

“Because,” she smiled. “You genuinely seem to care.”

He smiled back at her. “Well, I do.”

April grinned, laying back down to try to fall asleep again. She watched Andy get up, seemingly to go back to the couch. She was surprised when he returned to her bedside with a pillow and blanket, and began to spread it out on the floor right beside her.

“What are you—“

“I’m gonna keep your nightmares away,” he said happily, fluffing the pillow before laying down. “I’m gonna sleep right here, and if you start to get scared…I’ll be here to help.”

She stared at him, awestruck. _Well, that’s it. That’s what did it. I think I love him._

“Oh…I—thanks,” she mumbled, unsure what to say without sounding like a blabbering fool. She stared down at him, and he smiled up at her from his place on the floor. The last thing she remembered as she drifted off was his wonderfully lopsided grin.

He kept his promise. She had no more nightmares that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Fix You" by Coldplay


	8. Fire and the Flood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the previous chapter's note, because this fic is not rated as a whole, some of the chapters will be rated differently than others. This chapter is rated E for explicit.

Christmas morning arrived in another flurry of snow. April woke first, reluctant to move from the warmth of her blankets. She was still exhausted from the previous night’s lack of sleep. Instinctively, she looked toward the couch to check on Andy. When she saw that he was gone, panic bubbled up in her chest for only a moment, before remembering what happened and looking to the floor by her bedside.

He was still there, sprawled out on his back with one arm stretched high above his head and the other draped over his bare chest. The large blanket was tangled around his legs. He was breathing loudly, still obviously in a deep sleep. April wondered how long he’d stayed awake to make sure she didn’t have any more bad dreams.

_He stayed up for me. He slept by my bed. He didn’t run away after hearing about my stupid, pathetic past._

April stared at him for a few moments, studying his sleeping form. He really _was_ a big guy. Very tall, probably very strong…he was easily taking up a good portion of the floor. Her eyes were drawn to his thick arms, and more specifically, to his large hands. 

He was also very sweet, and very handsome. She didn’t care that his belly was a little round and chubby, or that his hair was a bit unkempt, or that he didn’t shower every single day. Those types of things just didn’t bother her.

She crept out of bed and took a huge step over him, intent on making _him_ breakfast this time. She was pretty good at pancakes, although she didn’t make them often. April hated cooking, but for Andy she could make an exception. Before doing anything, she pulled the comforter off her bed and draped it over him. Andy just rolled over onto his side with a soft grunt.

 

Half an hour later, April heard Andy moving from his spot on the floor. He sat up groggily, yawning huge and looking around the room.

“Hey,” she called. “Merry Christmas.” She placed a plate of pancakes on one half of the table.

Andy looked over at her, still drowsy. His scruffy face was clouded over with sleep, but when he saw her, his face lit up like a little kid’s.

“Hey,” his voice was hoarse. “Merry Christmas, April.”

“Come and eat. I made pancakes and I don’t do that for just anyone, you know,” she waved him over. He stood up eagerly, stretched, and joined her in the kitchen.

“Mm, smells so good… Hey, why was I covered in your blanket?” Andy asked as he took a seat. “I didn’t steal it from you while I was sleeping, did I? Sometimes I grab things when I sleep and I don’t realize it. Like one time I grabbed an alarm clock, and when I woke up I was hugging it.”

“No,” she chuckled. “When I woke up, your blanket was all tangled around your feet. You looked cold.”

“Oh, good,” Andy laughed. He took a bite of the pancakes, groaning appreciatively. “Did you put chocolate chips in these?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded.

“I could eat these forever.”

April watched him for a bit, eating her own smaller stack and boiling some water for tea.

“It snowed again last night,” she pointed to the window.

“Oh yeah?” Andy turned to look. “Guess we’re stuck indoors again today?”

“Yeah, guess so,” she nodded, hiding the tiny smile on her lips. “That’s okay, though. We’ve got all those leftovers…and we’ll find stuff to do.”

“Totally,” Andy agreed. “I like being snowed in with you, April.”

“You do?” she raised her eyebrows and laughed. “Nobody’s ever told me that before. Not exactly something you hear very often.”

“Well, it’s true. You just always find stuff to do, and it’s awesome.” He screwed up his face, like he was trying to come up with a better compliment. “I…that just sounded so dumb. I’m sorry. What I meant is—“

_He’s such a dork, it’s adorable._

“Thanks,” she said, cutting him off with a smile. “I like being snowed in with you too, Andy.”

 

The ringing of the telephone interrupted their second movie in a row around mid-afternoon. April grumbled, shifting from a highly comfortable spot in which she was pushed up against Andy on the couch. She’d been complaining about being cold, and he’d suggested—to her delight—that she come sit next to him so they could keep each other warm. Add a blanket to the mix, and it was the closest contact they’d ever shared.

“Do you _have to get it?”_ Andy glanced down at her as she paused the movie.

“It might be Tom…or my parents. I promised I’d answer if they called.”

“Sounds like it’s coming from downstairs, though,” Andy squinted.

“Must be the house phone,” April sighed. “Wanna come with me to go check?”

“Sure.”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “I’ll race you to Diane’s office,” she said suddenly, getting a running start and bolting out the door. Andy jetted after her, chasing her laughter as they hurried down to the second floor.

“I’m faster than you, Swanson!” Andy called, as April sprinted down the hallway to the last door on the right. She made it just as Andy came bounding after her. When he reached her, he grabbed her around her middle and flipped her so she was hanging over his shoulder. His actions caught her completely off-guard.

“Dude!” April laughed, her stomach suddenly fluttery. “What’re you doing?”

“I won the race. I caught you,” he panted, patting her back.

“I have to answer the phone,” she laughed, tapping on his back with her palm as the answering machine picked up.

“Too late!” Andy cheered triumphantly. 

April continued to laugh as he held her over his shoulder, and together they waited for the message as a voice on the other end began to speak.

 _“Hey Ron, it’s Ben,”_ the message began, and Andy put April down carefully. _“I know you’re probably away, but I just wanted to let you know, I just talked to some of the guys, and your company won the bid. You beat out Norton Construction. You can start building in the new year. Congratulations!”_

April turned wordlessly to Andy and smiled. He gave her a thumbs up.

“Serves Mark Brendana-ditz right,” she said softly.

 _“Hope you guys have a Merry Christmas,”_ Ben’s message continued. _“Leslie wants to say hi too.”_

Leslie’s voice floated over the machine, loud and bubbly as usual. _“Hi Ron and Diane! Hi April, Zoey, Ivy and John!”_ she said cheerily. _“Merry Christmas! Ben and I are so excited for your company, Ron! Also, we’ve got some super exciting news to share with you when you get back! I’ll give you a hint: we are literally over the moon three times over. Call us! Bye!”_

There was a click, and the message ended. April looked at Andy.

“My dad is gonna be happy about this,” she said. “He doesn’t get excited very often, but this’ll definitely do it.”

“That’s awesome,” Andy said. “And I wonder what Leslie’s big news is…”

“Ben probably got promoted to top nerd at his accounting firm,” April shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out soon enough. Wanna get back and finish the movie now?”

“Yes, totally!” Andy said excitedly. Without another word, he crouched down and gestured to his back. “C’mon,” he said, after April hesitated. “Free piggyback ride. Take it while you can.” 

Smiling, April gripped around his neck and tucked her feet around his waist and they took off, laughing the entire way up to the third floor.

 

The day was flying by. They spent hours doing nothing and everything. Sometimes Andy would take out his guitar and play for April while she watched him from her bed. When he sang, his voice would take on this low, rumbly tone. It made her heart pump furiously, resulting in an awkward crossing of her legs while she stretched out on her sheets. When she wasn’t on her bed, she was taking candid photos of him while he played, each image of him more handsome than the last.

Later, April dug some photo albums out of her closet, and pointed out all the work she’d done over the years. Some for Parks, some freelance stuff, and some just for her own personal enjoyment, while Andy would look on with wide eyes, examining every detail of every photograph. One of the albums was filled with photos of her as an awkward high schooler. Andy snatched it out of a horrified April’s hands after she realized she’d grabbed it by accident, but he was so excited while he stared fixedly at every picture that she let him hold onto it.

“Aww, you look like a little kid, April,” he smiled, flipping through some pages of her in a rather unflattering first day of school outfit from the twelfth grade. “You were cute,” he laughed.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “Thanks, but not really.”

 

At some point, her parents called to wish her a Merry Christmas. They were relieved to know that everything was going smoothly at the house. Ron was thrilled when April told him about winning the bid, her dad even laughing out loud at the news, a sound that was equally disarming and hilarious at the same time. 

Tom and Lucy did the same, calling around early evening. Even Donna shot her a text, replying with a winking smiley face when April told her she’d been hanging out with Andy for the past two days.

Then, a few hours later, after a dinner of leftovers from Tom’s Bistro, they sat pleasantly full together on the couch. Andy was nodding off every now and then while April leaned against his shoulder, tapping her fingers on his hand.

“Hey,” she gently shook his arm. “Why don’t you find something to watch? I’ll be right back,” she stood up.

“Okay,” he said softly, yawning wide and reaching for the remote.

While Andy was distracted, April went to her closet and pulled out the two gifts she’d been hiding since yesterday afternoon. She’d managed to sneak both of them past him, and now was as good a time as any to give them to him.

“Hey,” April walked up to him, her hands behind her back. “You know, since it’s Christmas…I sorta have something for you. Well, two things.”

Andy looked around at her, his eyes wide. “What d’you mean?”

“I got you something,” she said shyly. “But first, I wanna give you this.” She handed him a thin black portfolio.

Andy took it, opening it up carefully. In each plastic-protected sheet page was a glossy photograph of either Andy himself, or the other members of Mouse Rat, taken from the photoshoot April had done for them. They were all the favorites that Andy had picked out the day they met over lunch. He ran his hand over one of the photos, his mouth a wide smile.

“April,” he said slowly, shaking his head. “Thank you so much. These came out awesome.”

“You and your band photograph pretty well,” she chuckled.

“Really,” he looked at her seriously. “This means a lot to me. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”

“Well, I’ve still got one more thing for you,” she said, her hands hidden behind her back.

Handing him the carefully wrapped gift, she watched him stand up and tear into it eagerly, his eyes going wide as the blue jersey unrolled in his hands and hung to the floor.

“Woah!” Andy exclaimed, his smile huge. “Reggie Wayne jersey! April!”

“You like it?” April felt her cheeks getting warm. 

“Do I _like_ it?” Andy repeated, immediately taking off his own shirt to put it on. “I can’t believe you remembered! You didn’t have to do this! April, thank you so much! This is amazing!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled.

Andy stretched the shirt out in front of himself excitedly, staring at the large white numbers emblazoned on the front. He then looked at April, and his face fell. “I didn’t…um…I didn’t get you anything,” he mumbled. “I…oh man, I’m so stupid, I wasn’t thinking—“

“Oh no,” she said hurriedly. “No, I don’t want anything.” And she meant it. “I picked that up for you when I ran out yesterday afternoon to get your toothbrush and stuff. I wanted you to have it. My parents left me some gifts. I don’t want or need anything else.”

“Thank you,” he said again. “You’re the best.” Before April knew what was happening, Andy was pulling her into a tight hug.

As he wrapped his arms around her, her heart felt like it’d suddenly stopped. She took this opportunity to breath him in fully, leaning into his chest and getting lost in how incredibly tall and warm he was. It was amazing. She never would’ve imagined it was possible to feel this way again, but she felt _safe._ He was all around her, his large hands on her back and his chin resting on top of her head. She didn’t want to let him go.

As they began to break away—and God, she wanted it to last forever—she looked up at him, and he looked down at her, his green eyes soft and warm and sparkling. It was an impulse. She couldn’t control it at this point if she tried. Standing on her tip-toes, she leaned in and met his mouth in a soft kiss.

She expected him to pull back, push her away, be completely annoyed and frustrated that she’d just forced herself on him like that. However, none of those things happened. Instead, Andy just leaned into it, his lips as warm and soft as she’d imagined. He reached up with one hand and gently caressed her cheek, his thumb brushing a spot right under her eye. They broke apart after that, their faces only inches from each other. April was breathing fast, her mouth slightly open.

“Oh,” she whispered. “I’m sorry—I—“

“No,” Andy shook his head a fraction of an inch. “Don’t be sorry,” he said softly, and leaned in to kiss her again.

This time a million things exploded in her brain, while fireworks and stars erupted behind her eyelids. _How is this even possible right now?_

She reached up and clasped her hands around his neck, winding her fingers into the curls at the base of his head. She felt his hand wrap around her waist as he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth slightly, and April nearly died right there. She might’ve even made a sound that surely _wasn’t_ as embarrassing as she thought it was, or so she hoped. 

It felt like an eternity before they broke apart again.

“You…um,” Andy mumbled nonsense, smiling broadly. “I think that was…pretty great.”

“Yeah,” April licked her lips. “Yeah it was.”

She brought her hands back down to rest on his arms, while Andy kept his securely around her waist.

“Would it be weird if I said I’ve kinda wanted to do that for a while now?” he asked softly, his thumbs riding up the bottom of her shirt, rubbing at the sides of her stomach.

His words were like oxygen. She needed more.

“No, because…it would make me feel a lot better about wanting the same thing,” she replied. 

“Good,” Andy whispered, and he wrapped her in another hug, his mouth crashing furiously onto hers in the process. This time, the kiss was hungry. It was rough and sloppy, full of some sort of long-ignored passion that she wanted to share entirely with him. She wasn’t sure what came over her at that precise moment, but April suddenly hoisted herself up and grabbed Andy’s shoulders. Wrapping her legs around his waist, he gripped her hips, and the both of them fell back onto the couch. 

April didn’t understand how this wasn’t some cruel dream…she didn’t know why she wasn’t waking up only to find that the past few days had all been part of her imagination. She kept imagining herself the night Andy came to her house in that snowstorm, only this time there was no doorbell to startle her and the night went on alone, just as it was originally supposed to. Why hadn’t _that_ happened? Then she felt his tongue in her mouth and remembered that it was all very, very real, sending her crashing back into the present.

Without warning, Andy’s mouth moved to her jaw and down the side of her neck, trailing warm kisses. Her mind spiraling into a daze, April tilted her head back blissfully to give him a better angle.

“Oh…” she moaned softly as he continued, wasting no time as he moved on to her collarbone. She inhaled sharply, grasping at his shoulder blades.

“You okay?” he asked in a concerned voice, and she quickly looked at him, nodding her head furiously. 

“Yes,” she swallowed. “Good—all good—don’t stop.”

“Okay.”

Andy’s hands drifted to her back, bunching up her thin shirt. She felt him pause, as though he was afraid to move them any further. Wordlessly, April decided to help him along. She slid her hands under his jersey, gently tugging it up so he understood. However, he froze under her touch, and she stopped moving entirely. 

“April,” he paused, breaking away.

For a moment she was terrified that she’d gone too far, and now he was going to push her away. Instead, Andy put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her seriously.

“You…this…” he breathed in and out quickly, licking his lips. “You sure? I don’t want to do anything that makes you, like, uncomfortable—”

“Andy,” she replied. “I’ve never been more sure.” 

With a shy grin, he pulled the jersey over his head and placed it next to him on the couch. This time his hands dove under her shirt without hesitation. She shivered when she felt his touch against her bare skin.

“Sorry—“

“No, you’re fine,” she murmured, nuzzling her nose against his scruffy cheek. 

Now it was April who leaned in to kiss down his neck. She took her time, leaving tiny bite marks here and there whenever she would apply pressure with her teeth. Andy groaned, seemingly loving it just as much as she had. She landed on a spot just below his right ear that made him go absolutely crazy, and she made a mental note to remember it for next time. If there was a next time, anyway. She really hoped so.

She ran her hands over his chest, taking in the beautiful sight before her. His slight chubbiness was endearing, and his torso was warm and soft. His chest had only a small amount of hair, and his skin was very light compared to hers. She studied every slope and curve with hungry eyes.

_He’s amazing._

Andy watched her watch him for a moment, before his own eyes drifted, drinking in her image like he never wanted to look away. Staring longingly at her lips, he dove forward once again.

Their mouths met in another flurry of kisses. Desperate for closer contact, April instinctively rocked her hips onto him. The slight friction sent off an immediate reaction. Right away, she could distinctly feel him hard against the inside of her thigh. Her body buzzed excitedly as she felt that warmth between her legs. Andy must’ve noticed that she noticed, because he glanced at her quickly, a slightly embarrassed look on his face.

“Oh shit, I—I’m, well, you’re just so—”

There was _absolutely_ no need for him to explain. She was having a hard enough time believing that she even got him so worked up in the first place, from her body alone.

“Hey,” she whispered, silencing him with another kiss and another slow roll of her hips. Andy couldn’t suppress his groan. His body’s natural responses were enough to do her in. She rocked harder, just once more, if only to hear the low rumble from deep in his chest. 

_“God, April…”_

“C’mon,” she climbed off him, taking his hand. He followed obediently as she led him to her bed, a dumbstruck look on his face the entire time.

April tugged on his arm, and he immediately dropped down beside her as she spread out on the mattress. His body was huge, April realizing right away that he could probably cover her entirely if he tried. She pushed into him a little, and Andy took the hint. He rolled over and sat up until she was sitting in his lap, her legs tight around his torso. His hands were back under her shirt in an instant as they nipped gently at each others swollen lips.

 _“So good,”_ she heard him mumble between kisses. She wasn’t sure if he meant the kisses or her body, but either was fine with her.

She felt his hands travel up her front, hesitating when he reached her bra, stopping right underneath the curve of lacy fabric. The anticipation was killing her, but at the same time, she loved how sweet and cautious he was being. It was like he was asking permission with each movement he made. Taking his hand in hers, she guided him, sliding his hand up until his palm was cupping her breast. He exhaled sharply as his fingers closed over her.

“Oh…shit,” Andy breathed, his chest swelling with each deep breath. “You—you’re amazing.”

His words made her body burn with insane heat, and suddenly she felt the need to move faster. Pulling her shirt up over her head, April watched Andy’s eyes widen as he took in the sight of her. His mouth hung open while he slowly slid his hands under her bra. His palms cupped her bare breasts, hot against her skin, and April let out a breathy moan.

This was _everything_ she never knew she needed. His touch was invigorating, and she needed more. They weren’t close enough. She needed to feel all of him.

“Andy…” She reached down between their bodies, until her hand slipped under the elastic band of his sweatpants. 

_“Fuck,”_ she heard him breath softly, his pelvis instinctively thrusting upwards.

She stroked him once though his boxers, feeling his dick hard in her hand with only the thin layer of cloth separating them. Andy groaned loudly, and it was the most amazing sound in the world. She did it a couple more times, Andy thrusting up into her fist, just as April felt his mouth close over her nipple. “Shit,” she hissed. “Just… _ugh_ … _fuck.”_

She arched into him, her hand slipping from his sweatpants in the process, and she reached around his neck to find purchase. “Don’t stop, Andy…please. Please.”

“That good?” He broke away and looked into her eyes. “You okay?”

Eyes closed, she nodded her head, breathing heavily.

“Shit…April, I want you so bad right now,” he mumbled, almost like he was saying it to himself.

A fire sparked up in her chest, sending flames racing to every available corner of her body. She leaned in to kiss him, her mouth harsh and hot against his.

“You, um…you wanna?” he asked dazedly when they broke apart.

“Yes!” she cried. “Yes, right now, Andy.”

He smiled for a moment before his face fell. “April…I wanna do this so bad,” he groaned. “So freaking bad…I just don’t…I don’t have—“

“Oh,” she looked down. Of course they didn’t have any condoms. Why would he bring any? Plus, she hadn’t had sex in two years…it wasn’t like she had them on stand-by in her drawer or anything. “I don’t either.” She stared at him miserably.

Andy sighed heavily, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. April almost decided to brave the snowstorm at that very moment to hit the nearest convenience store. If that’s what it took, then fuck it. She was too far gone to just stop right now. 

Just as she started mentally weighing the risks of going without, Andy’s eyes lit up, and he gently lifted her out of his lap and ran to his backpack. 

“What are you—?”

“Got one!” he cried happily, hurrying back with the tiny package in his hands. “I can’t believe it was still in there! I’ve had this in my backpack for months. It was a camping trip we went on and…never mind.” He shook his head. “I just remembered it was there.”

April wasn’t going to ask. She didn’t want to know, especially if it had to do with anyone Andy might have slept with in his past. Those people shall remain nameless. All she wanted right now was him back in bed with her. Stretching out on her back, she waited.

He climbed back into the bed carefully, as April stared up at him. Slowly, and not breaking eye contact, she kicked off her jeans, and reached around her back to unclasp her bra. Andy’s eyes stayed glued to her chest as the little lacy piece dropped to the floor.

“You…” he swallowed hard. “You’re beautiful, April.” He ran his palm over her bare chest for a moment, before he reached down and carefully removed her panties, the pads of his fingers trailing electricity on her skin. He took his time rolling the thin cotton piece down her legs, kissing from her thighs to her knees.

Her chest was on fire. No guy had ever called her beautiful before, not a single one.

“C’mon,” she whispered, thrusting her hips up once. Forget feeling impatient. She blew past that forever ago. Now she craved him in ways she didn’t fully understand.

Andy nodded, hurriedly slipping off his sweatpants and boxers. As he kneeled above her, she couldn’t help but stare. He was a beautiful sight. Fully erect, his chest was slowly expanding in and out as he stared down at her. He unwrapped the condom and rolled it down his length, leaning down until he was hovering over her.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

April nodded quickly, her breaths shaky but her body screaming for him to move forward. She leaned her head up a little to kiss him. 

Andy smiled against her lips, and slowly pushed forward. April gasped when she felt him enter, and he stilled about halfway there only to kiss her again, his mouth taking her moans and burying them deep in his throat. He whispered sweet things to her as he pushed some more, until he was fully sheathed inside her. He stayed there, unmoving, staring directly into her eyes with his forehead pressed against hers.

April felt a million things at once. Her heart was pounding as she adjusted to the stretched feeling of being filled with him. He wasn’t small, so it was a lot to take all at once, but she loved it. She reached up and wound her fingers in his hair, as Andy moved to cover her neck and collarbone in kisses.

“You’re amazing,” he kept repeating, his mouth soft against her. “You feel so good, April.” When he finally started to move, his thrusts were slow and hesitant as he tried to find a rhythm they both liked.

“You… _ugh_ …Andy, you’re so good,” she moaned. “You’re perfect.”

“Yeah?” He groaned as he shifted, hitting a new angle.

April cried out when she felt the slight change. “Yes,” she gasped.

Andy began to move faster, grunting loudly, hitting a steady pace that April was able to match as she started to thrust up into him. Lifting her head up to look at where their bodies were joined, Andy followed her gaze, and together they watched him disappear into her over and over. When they looked up again, their eyes met, and his stare was what sent her flying over the edge. She felt herself climbing higher and higher, until she convulsed around him, nails clawing at his back and moaning out a loud, angry cry. Andy’s face was buried in her neck, his mouth biting down on her shoulder as she breathed through the tail end of her orgasm.

“Shit,” her chest was heaving as she tried to calm herself down and relax. “Andy…”

“Fuck,” his voice came out like a whine, and April knew he had to be close too. “That was so, so hot.”

His thrusts were becoming sloppy as he dipped his head down to mouth her breast again, causing her to throw her head back in another flurry of spasms that came out of no where. Finally, she heard him groan loudly, giving one last hard shove into her before he stilled and collapsed on top of her.

They lay there in a sweaty pile of limbs for what felt like hours. Andy was panting, gently gripping April’s hand. Finally, April began to shift uncomfortably under his weight, and Andy immediately rolled off her. He discarded the condom in a nearby trash bin and curled up by her side. She turned to snuggle up against him, her head spinning and her brain ready to explode from trying to process what had just happened.

She literally _couldn’t_ process this. How on earth they’d gone from a simple hug to tangled up in bed together…April was at a loss for thought or words.

“Hey,” he whispered, pressing his lips against her forehead. “That was…that was pretty awesome. You’re awesome.” His body was hot and sweaty, and it felt so damn _good_ being pressed up against him. April was so tired and spent that she nearly fell asleep in that blissful moment.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she mumbled, kissing his chest.

Andy snatched up the thick blanket, covering them both before draping his arm over April’s stomach. She stared up at him, her eyes heavy as she fought to stay awake a little longer. Andy leaned forward, slowly kissing her again and again, until she felt his tongue pushing into her mouth. They kept at it for another few minutes, until April leaned back into her pillow, completely exhausted.

“Andy,” she laughed. “We should try to sleep, I think.”

“You’re just so amazing…I can’t stop,” he smiled, tapping her arm with his fingers.

She reached up to rub his cheek, and he leaned into her touch as though he couldn’t get enough. His beard was scratchy and perfect, just like the rest of him. “I’m so happy you’re here,” she whispered, finally closing her eyes to sleep.

She felt him kiss her hand, and the mattress shifted as he pulled her closer into him, wrapping her in his warm embrace. 

“I’m happy too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Fire and the Flood" by Vance Joy


	9. Hooked On A Feeling

April woke the following morning feeling warm and more comfortable than she’d ever felt in her life. Slowly opening her eyes, the first thing she noticed was Andy pushed up against her. His heavy arm was still draped over her side, his chest slowly swelling in and out in time with his breathing. She stretched, her arms reaching out past him, before snuggling deeper into his torso. She could feel his bare legs under the blanket, so much larger than her own, and she remembered that they’d gone to bed without any clothes on.

Memories from the previous night washed over her. She hadn’t felt so alive in years, almost as though her body had woken up from a long, dormant sleep. Andy was everything she’d imagined he’d be, and it was amazing. Her legs were sore from being spread and stretched, and when she glanced at his neck, she could see where her teeth had left tiny pink marks. She felt alive, she felt refreshed, and most of all, she felt _loved._

Shifting the blanket over their bodies, she heard him grunt. The arm resting across her pulled back as Andy stretched, yawning wide. His green eyes scanned the space around him before landing on her face.

“Hey,” his voice was scratchy and he looked directly into her eyes, his smile crooked and gorgeous as always.

“Hi,” April smiled, staring back at him while her head rested on the pillow. 

Wordlessly, Andy leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. It wasn’t demanding or pushy…just soft, delicate and perfect.

April bit her lip as he pulled away, sliding her hand under the blanket to find his. He took it eagerly.

She didn’t know why, but looking at him there, smiling at her so beautifully, everything so perfect…she couldn’t help but feel a sudden overwhelming sense of dread. It had nothing to do with him, or the previous night, or any of the perfect things that had happened in the last few days. April just didn’t want things to go back to the way they were before. Not after she experienced how wonderful her life could be with Andy. She was in too deep at this point.

“I don’t want this to end,” she said softly, averting her eyes. “I don’t want you to go back to Burly’s place. I don’t want to keep you from my parents anymore. I just want you to stay.”

Andy tilted his head, looking at her curiously. “Yeah but…who says this has to end?”

“I dunno,” she mumbled. “Good things always end. That’s just the way it is.”

“Hey,” he sat up so he was leaning on his elbow, rubbing her hand with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere right now, all right? I’m with you, April…as long as you want me here.”

She knew he meant it. 

“Andy?”

“Hmm?”

_Say it. Three dumb words. You love him. Just say it._

“You’re the best,” she finished. _What if he didn’t say it back?_ She couldn’t handle that right now.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he replied, echoing her words from the night before. “So, does this mean we’re…you know…together?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I think it does, totally,” she nodded.

“Awesome,” he pumped his fist in the air triumphantly.

“You’re such a dork,” she smiled, shifting so she was on top of him and leaning down for another kiss.

 

It was nearly noon before they decided to get out of bed. Since it was their last day before they had to return to work after the holiday, April spent a good portion of the afternoon wondering how they were going to approach the rest of the Parks Department now that they were a “couple,” or whatever anyone wanted to call them.

Andy had seemingly come alive overnight, intent on being the best boyfriend he could be. He followed her around like an eager puppy, playfully pulling her to him and stealing kisses whenever he could. Whereas before, there was always hesitation when they’d so much as bump into each other accidentally, or awkward glances when they’d catch themselves staring at the other for far too long. Now there was nothing but outright affection. Figuring out a plan of attack for work was proving to be more and more difficult, as April became increasingly distracted.

Then again, it was hard to concentrate on much while Andy was pressed up against her in the shower, the two of them enveloped in steam. It was difficult to form rational thoughts when he was rubbing soap down her back, his hands traveling lower and lower until he was kneeling beneath her, barely fitting in the stall. She lost all feeling in her lower half save for his mouth against her, hot and wanting, making her dizzy in the best ways possible and crying out, until her voice echoed off the walls of that tight shower space. And when she knelt down in front of him, taking him in her mouth to return the favor, Andy nearly fell through the shower door.

That shower had lasted _way_ longer than it should have, but it was worth using up the hot water.

April still couldn’t wrap her mind around the whole thing. She shouldn’t be this happy, because if the past taught her anything, it was that she simply wasn’t meant to be. 

Now they sat together, the both of them shirtless, snuggled up under her big blanket on the couch while eating pizza.

“When do your parents get back again?” Andy asked, as April leaned against him to get more comfortable.

“Four more days,” she replied. “I need to find a way to tell them about you.”

“You think they’ll be upset?”

“No,” April shook her head. “They’ll just be concerned like always, I’m guessing. I mean, when I tell them you’ll be staying with me, I don’t know what they’ll say.”

Andy looked down at her, a grin on his face. “You really want me to stay here with you?” he asked incredulously. 

“Yeah, Andy… Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugged happily, wrapping an arm around her.

 

They lay in bed that evening—April still trying to come to terms with the fact that she actually _had_ someone in _her_ bed, her safe place—wrapped closely together in each other’s arms. A quick trip to the convenience store first thing that day had taken care of their lack of protection, so at the moment they were both exhausted from putting their purchase to good use. And rightly so—April hadn’t had so much energy in a long time. Two years worth of physical distance from men had certainly amped up her desire. 

Andy was drowsy, nodding off intermittently as April remained awake, thinking about work the following day. She didn’t have a specific project to work on, but she was going to show up anyway. It wasn’t worth it to keep anything from the rest of the department. She and Andy were together now, and if Leslie or anyone else thought it was weird, then so be it.

She glanced at him. He looked so peaceful when he slept, like he didn’t have a care in the world. She couldn’t remember a night where she didn’t wake up at least three times…that is, until Andy came into bed with her. He was like the antidote to everything in life that had tried to break her. She loved him. She was sure of it from the moment he stayed awake by her bedside. Sure, she’d liked him a whole lot before that…that was a given. Now she truly, deeply loved him. She just needed to work up the courage to let him know.

Pulling herself away from him carefully, she tried to get up out of bed. A gentle hand on her arm stopped her in her tracks. Turning around, she saw Andy peering at her sleepily.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled. “Stay.”

“I’m just getting some water,” she laughed. “I promise, I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay,” he said, still half asleep, his arm dropping back to the mattress with a dull thud. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

 

“April, I think I might need to get some of my clothes from Ann’s house,” Andy told her the next morning as he dressed for work. “I only have one tie and one work shirt in here. And no work pants, just these old jeans.”

April stiffened at the mention of Ann’s name, but tried to remain unfazed as she looked up at Andy from her cereal.

“We can buy you new clothes,” she suggested.

“Yeah, that would be awesome,” he nodded. “But with what money?”

April sighed. She knew he was right, but there was no way she was letting him go to Ann’s house without her. She had to think of a better idea.

“I know,” she said suddenly. “When we go to work today, we can ask Leslie to call Ann and tell her to drop some off at the office. Sound good?”

“April, you’re so smart,” Andy shook his head. “You think of everything.”

Was it bad that she was afraid of what would happen if he came face to face with Ann again? She felt like she was being insecure, and she hated herself for it. Unfortunately, it was true. What if he saw Ann again and remembered what he’d lost? She couldn’t compare to the stupid doctor when it came to her looks, her career, or the overall type of non-messy life that April had always wished to have since she was little. She was afraid Andy would take one look at his ex and remember that April was just April…a pathetic mess of a person with an equally messy past, who needed pills and therapy to stay out of the dark places in the back of her mind.

“Hey,” Andy called her, and she shook her head out of the jumble of thoughts. “You okay?”

She glanced up at him. He looked worried.

“Yes,” she said, standing up and dumping her bowl in the sink. “I’m fine, just thinking about work.”

“All right, just checking,” his cheery demeanor was back immediately. “Should we get going?”

April nodded. “Yeah, let’s go. Let’s get this over with.”

 

Pulling into the parking garage, April took a deep breath and turned to Andy in the passenger seat. She smiled, reaching for his hand.

“So, just a couple of things before we go in,” she said.

Andy nodded excitedly.

“Donna is one of my closest friends. Anything we tell her, you can be sure she’ll keep it private.”

“Okay,” Andy said. “I like Donna. Although she’s always asking me to walk in front of her for some reason.” He shrugged and shook his head.

“I don’t know how Leslie is gonna take this news, since Ann is her best friend and all. She’s gotta know that Ann was the one who broke up with you, right?”

“Right,” Andy nodded.

“Okay.” April let go of his hand. “I really don’t care about Jerry and the rest of the lame people who work there, so you can forget them.”

“Got it.”

“Great,” she smiled, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Let’s go.”

Stepping through the double wooden doors, it was like nothing had changed. Everything was right where it had been the last time she was at the office, over a week ago. Donna looked up immediately as the two of them entered.

“Well, well,” Donna smirked at April. “Had a busy holiday, haven’t we?”

“You bet we did!” Andy laughed. April shot him a look, but it was hard to keep a straight face.

“I want some details, girl,” Donna whispered. “Lunch time…my desk. Leave _nothing_ out.”

“Fine,” April rolled her eyes, but smiled at her friend. Donna winked at her as she and Andy walked to their seats.

Voices could be heard as the door to Leslie’s office opened. Ben stepped out, carrying a stack of folders and a briefcase. He smiled when he saw April and Andy.

“Oh! Hey guys,” he said. “Didn’t know you were here.”

“We just got here, nerd,” April said seriously.

“Well, I’m sure Leslie will want to see you,” he said, ignoring April’s favorite name for him. He stuck his head back into his wife’s office. “Honey, come out here. April and Andy are here.”

Leslie stepped out of her office beaming. When she saw the two of them, she rushed forward, hugging April tightly. Then she moved to Andy, catching both of them off guard.

“It’s _so_ good to see you guys!” she cried. “The whole team is back together. It was so boring without any work to do over the holiday, and I missed every single one of you.”

April stared at her with narrowed eyes, while Andy just smiled and nodded. She was cheerier than April had expected, for sure. Then again, this was Leslie Knope ninety-nine percent of the time.

“What have you both been up to?” Leslie asked immediately. “Tell me all about your Christmases!” Her eyes fell as she turned to Andy. “Andy, I’m sorry about you and Ann, by the way. I know that must’ve been hard for you.”

“Um,” Andy glanced at April quickly. “I mean…yeah, it was hard at first. I’m fine, though,” he said happily.

Ben raised his eyebrow at Andy, looking unconvinced.

“No, really, I am!”

Leslie shook her head. “I told her Mark Brendanawicz wasn’t a good choice, but—“

“Honey,” Ben interrupted, clearing his throat. “Why don’t we tell them our news instead?”

“Oh!” Leslie’s blue eyes were round and excited. “Great idea babe! April, I know you must’ve been away with your family this week, because I left a message on the machine. I don’t know why your dad hasn’t returned my call yet, I mean, it’s been two days—“

“No, I’ve been home,” April interrupted. “I didn’t go with them this year. They’re not even back yet.”

“Oh,” Leslie looked confused. “I just thought…okay.” She squinted, trying to add everything up.

“What’s the news?” April changed the subject back quickly.

The smile returned to Leslie’s face as she took Ben’s hand. “Well, believe it or not…Ben and I…we’re having _triplets!”_

April must’ve looked shocked, but she didn’t remember moving her face. “Triplets?” she repeated, as Ben and Leslie nodded happily.

“Woah, _four_ babies?” Andy put his hands on his head.

“No, Andy,” Ben looked at him worriedly. “Three. Three babies.”

“Oh, you’re right. I knew that.”

“Wow, congratulations, you guys,” April said, and she meant it. This was the type of thing Leslie desperately needed. She was like a mother to everyone already _except_ for a child of her own, and now she was getting three of them.

“Thank you!” Leslie said happily. “I’m due this June. We’ve known for a little while but we wanted to wait until Christmas to tell everyone.”

“Sweet,” Andy said happily. “Hey, I’d love to babysit!”

Ben exchanged a look with Leslie before turning back to Andy. “Thanks, Andy. We’ll keep that in mind.”

“Um…actually,” April bit her lip. “Leslie, there’s something I wanted to tell you too.”

Leslie stared at her, her head tilted slightly to the side.

“It’s about me and Andy.”

The older woman’s face softened, and she stared back at them almost knowingly.

“We’re kinda…together now,” April said, staring at the floor before meeting Leslie’s eyes. “It’s new. It just sort of happened. I hope that’s not weird for you, you know, being Man Perkins’—I mean Ann’s—best friend and all. I hope you’ll still want me to work for you—“ 

“April,” Leslie cut her off, smiling kindly. “Come into my office for a minute, and let’s chat there.”

April glanced at Andy and Ben before following Leslie into the Director’s Office. The two men watched her get up, following her boss into the closed-off room. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but whatever it was, she probably should’ve seen it coming. Taking a seat on the wooden bench by Leslie’s desk, she waited, hands nervously tapping on her knees.

“April,” Leslie started slowly. “I’m not sure what you think I’m going to say to you, or how you think I’ve been feeling about this whole Ann and Andy thing,” she started. “But I want you to know, I think it’s really great that you guys are together now.” 

April looked up quickly. That was _definitely_ not what she was expecting.

“You do?”

“Yes,” Leslie nodded. “I do. Ann is my best friend. I’ll stand by her decisions, I’ll be there for her, I’ll support her no matter what. But that doesn’t mean I have to agree with her all the time. Do I think it was right of her to break up with Andy? Yes, if it wasn’t going to work out between them, definitely. Do I like the way she did it, and then how she just started to date Mark the next day? No, I didn’t like that at all. Andy didn’t deserve that. I think that was pretty crappy of her, and I let her know it.”

April stared at her, not saying a word.

“Andy is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met,” Leslie continued. “He’s a good person, with a good heart, and he deserves to be with someone who makes him happy. Ann obviously wasn’t that person. But I think _you_ are.”

April smiled slightly, glancing up at Leslie. Her mind felt clearer all of a sudden, and it was wonderful.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Leslie said, smiling. “Even when he was with Ann, toward the end of their relationship, I could tell how much he cared for you. You don’t see that look on a person very often, April.”

“He’s great,” April said softly.

“He is. And I know you care about him too. That alone makes me so, so happy for you both. That you’ve found happiness with each other. You are happy, aren’t you?”

April nodded, smiling a genuine smile this time. Leslie came around the desk and wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m not hugging you back,” April mumbled.

“I’m not expecting you to,” Leslie said happily, shrugging.

 

“April, this is super awesome,” Andy said excitedly as they were driving home hours later. “You were so worried about what Leslie would think, and it all worked out.”

It had gone better than she ever could’ve hoped for. She didn’t lose a friend over it after all. Actually, she’d gained a supporter.

“It did,” April said, taking her hand that wasn’t on the wheel and grasping his. “And I remembered to ask her to call the she-beast about your clothes. So hopefully she’ll drop them off at the office sometime.” 

“Yeah,” Andy nodded. “I think people will start to notice if I keep wearing the same three outfits.”

“Yeah, that’s not a good idea,” she laughed, and it felt so amazing to just be _happy._

 

In the days that followed, April couldn’t remember having as much fun with anyone else in her entire life. When they weren’t watching TV, they were cuddling. When they weren’t cuddling, they were making out. When they weren’t making out…they were having sex in every corner of her apartment, including a few choice surfaces scattered throughout the main house. Tom’s old pool table in the downstairs family room was finally put to some use, as well as the rarely used recliner in the first floor study. 

It was a wonderful blur. They’d scrounge up leftovers from takeout ordered the day before, or hit the fridge on the first floor to sneak some food upstairs, where April would try her best to make a meal out of it. She was no cook, but Andy wasn’t picky. It was like they were a young, carefree married couple, and beyond all expectations of the life the thought she’d have, she loved every minute of it.

Work was easier since divulging their relationship to Leslie. Her boss finally admitted that during the week leading up to the holidays, she hadn’t given April any new projects because she wanted time to see if Andy and Ann were going to reconcile. She figured April could’ve made that difficult, only because she might’ve been a distraction. Leslie explained that she hated doing it, but at the time she thought it best. April forgave her. 

Ann still hadn’t dropped off any clothing for Andy, so April would wash whatever outfits he had whenever he’d run out of clean clothes. She didn’t mind, because it came with the perks of seeing him walk around shirtless more often than not. When he ran out of underwear, he’d hang around wearing nothing but a towel until laundry was done. April certainly had zero complaints about that.

When Monday morning arrived, April called a shocked Chris Traeger to cancel her weekly appointment. When he asked her why, she simply replied that she didn’t need to talk this week. It was true—she had nothing more to add to the same old conversation, unless he wanted an earful about how many different ways Andy made her feel amazing over the past week. Chris was thrilled for her regardless, and urged her to keep it up.

 

On the day before her family was due to arrive home, the weathermen announced another big snowstorm in the area, cancelling all flights back to Pawnee. Ron had called her, explaining that they were staying at the Lewis family’s home another night or so, at least until a flight opened up and the weather enabled them to take off. April told them to take their time.

“We get to be alone for another couple of nights?” Andy mumbled, kissing down her neck as they messed around in bed that afternoon. April nodded, giggling when his facial hair tickled her. It only spurred him on, and before she knew it she was a laughing, twisting mess as she tried to break away from him. Andy was always faster though. He was surprisingly quick for his size.

“Andyyy,” she whined, pushing against his broad chest with her hands. “You know I— _ah_ —I hate being tickled!”

“Yeah, of course I know that babe,” he said casually. “That’s why I do it.”

She froze. He called her _‘babe’…_ They’d never used those types of names with each other before. Pet names, or whatever people called them. Something about it made her flush with warmth, trailing from her face to her toes.

“Say that again,” she said softly, her hands no longer fighting him off.

“Uh…that’s why I do it?” Andy repeated, looking confused.

“No, no…the other thing, before that,” she shook her head.

“Oh! Of course I know that, babe,” he said again, laughing.

It happened in a second. She smiled up at him, and he grinned down at her, and suddenly she pushed up against him so forcefully that his back was pinned against the wall on the side of her bed. She slid into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him all over.

“Wow,” Andy said, mesmerized when he caught a moment to speak.

“Andy,” she breathed in-between kisses. “Andy…”

“Mmpf?” her mouth was on his again, and he could only make sounds.

“I love you,” she said suddenly, breaking away from him.

He stared at her, open mouthed, as she looked directly into his eyes.

“Y—you—“

“I love you,” she said again, pressing herself against him in a hug.

She was nervous for a minute that she’d ruined something. Afraid she just said the one thing he wasn’t ready for, and now he was going to leave. Her stomach clenched as she waited with bated breath for anything—any sign that he would respond, whether it be good or bad. Then, after what felt like forever, Andy slowly brought his arms up around her, pulling her closer to him. 

“I love you too,” he said softly, kissing her.

“You do?”

He nodded. “I really, really, super do.”

She felt as though her heart had finally burst.

It didn’t take much to get him worked up after that. Not five minutes later, April sank down onto him and rode out her explosion of emotion in his lap. Andy held her hips the entire time, occasionally groaning and whispering praise, every so often biting her neck with little nips of his teeth. It may as well have been a dream, because April could no longer feel anything save for their joined bodies and the growing excitement between her legs with each pulse.

After, she collapsed into his arms, sweaty and totally spent. Andy ran his hands through her hair, messaging her back and neck as she held onto him, breathing heavily. She wanted to stay like that forever if she could, so he just let her. He never complained once.

 

“Was that the doorbell?” Andy sat up in bed, looking groggily toward the door leading to the third floor landing. “April,” he shook her shoulder gently. 

She was curled up against his chest, wearing one of his flannel shirts that was so large, it hung off her, trailing past her hips. “Hmm?” she kept her eyes closed.

“April, the doorbell just rang from downstairs. I heard it.”

Reluctantly, she sat up, stretched, and looked out the window. “Yeah, there’s a car down there.”

“Let’s go see who it is,” Andy slipped into some sweatpants, and together they made the journey to the front door, racing each other down hallways and flights of stairs like they often did lately.

“I’m faster than you, I keep telling ya,” Andy laughed, clutching his stomach as they reached the front hall.

“No need to rub it in, Dwyer. I’m all sexed out at the moment—“ April laughed, swinging the front door open mid-sentence.

The smile on her face died instantly as they came face to face with Ann Perkins. The doctor was standing on the front steps, awkwardly holding a bulging garbage bag in her hand. Ann looked at the two of them, opening her mouth to speak but getting caught up trying to figure out what to say. Her eyes traveled to April’s shirt—which was actually Andy’s— and down to her bare legs, then to Andy, standing there in nothing but sweatpants. April crossed her arms, bunching up the shirt around her chest. Ann cleared her throat.

“Hey guys,” she said.

“Ann,” Andy sounded confused. “What are you—what are you doing here?”

“I was dropping off your clothes,” Ann replied, avoiding eye contact with April.

“How did you know I’d be here?” Andy scratched his neck uncomfortably.

“Leslie mentioned it,” Ann said quickly. “Figured I’d stop by myself, because I’m working a long shift at the hospital for the next couple of days and probably won’t have time to stop by Parks.”

“We had Leslie call you about those clothes days ago,” April said coldly, finally finding her voice. “Any time sooner than this would’ve been just fine.”

She stared at Ann with dislike etched in every corner of her face. She wanted her gone. Just the sight of her was making April’s heart pump unnecessarily fast, and not in a good way.

“Yeah, I know,” Ann shrugged. “I’ve been really busy. I just haven’t gotten the chance.”

“Okay, great. Thanks. Bye,” April reached out and grabbed the bag, and made to close the door.

“Wait,” Ann held her hand out, stopping the door.

“What?” April glared at her. “We’re busy, Ann.”

“Yeah, you guys look busy,” Ann muttered, her eyes darting quickly to Andy’s bare chest. “Anyway, Andy…I found your phone. It was under my bed for some reason.” She pulled the cell phone out of her pocket, holding it out to him.

“Oh sweet! Yeah, that was because I was looking for my watch. I was using it as a flash light. I thought I lost it forever! Turns out I had the watch on my wrist the entire time,” he took it from her. “Thanks, Ann.”

“It’s dead, obviously, but the charger’s there too,” she added. 

April was getting impatient. She looked at Andy, then back at Ann, her hand still on the doorknob.

“Anything else?” she said, her voice low.

“Uh, no,” Ann said, shrugging. “I’ll see you guys. Take care.”

April closed the door before Ann was even off the steps, locking it behind her.

“Why did she come _here?”_ April muttered.

“At least I got my clothes,” Andy held up the bag. “AND my phone—sweet!” He dug through the bag excitedly, pulling out random shirts and holding them up like he’d been searching for them for ages.

April crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Seeing Ann had unnerved her. In a way, she felt a strange sense of triumphant victory that the stupid doctor got to see the two of them there together, April clearly wearing one of Andy’s shirts and nothing else, while Andy stood there in a pair of sweatpants that just screamed, _“Yeah Perkins, we’ve been fucking all week. Take a good long look.”_

However, April didn’t like the way Ann was looking at Andy, or the fact that she’d bothered to come see him in person. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

“C’mon,” she took Andy by the hand. “Let’s go back upstairs. Like I told what’s-her-face, we’re busy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Hooked On A Feeling" by Blue Swede


	10. Delicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this chapter is rated E for explicit.

The following morning, April finally received a date for when her family was due to arrive home. It seemed as though the relentless array of snowstorms had calmed for the week, and flights were once again operating in all the airports. As much as she missed them, the fact that she and Andy would no longer enjoy an empty house all to themselves was a little disappointing.

“We’ll be home the day after New Years,” Ron explained. “Since we’re already here, we figured we shouldn’t bother rushing home New Year’s Day.”

 _“You_ figured, or Diane figured?” April asked him.

“Okay, Diane figured,” Ron admitted. “I need to get home,” he added in a quieter voice. “I’ve been using another man’s shower all week.”

“Hang in there,” April said. “Only a couple more days and you’ll be free.”

“I suppose so,” Ron grumbled. “How’s your brother doing? I haven’t talked to him in a few days.”

April hadn’t heard from Tom lately either. The last time she’d spoken to him was when he called to wish her a Merry Christmas.

“Good, I guess. The last time we saw him was at the Bistro on Christmas Eve—“

“We?”

_Shit._

“Me,” she backtracked. “I meant me.”

“So, you meant to say, ‘the last time _me_ saw him’ was on Christmas Eve?” She could tell he wasn’t buying it. “Is there something you wanted to tell me?”

April sighed. She supposed now was as good a time as any. “Yeah, um…” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorta seeing someone.”

She could practically hear her father grinding his teeth on the other end of the line. She waited patiently for him to say something.

“Who is he?” Ron asked, after several seconds of silence.

“He’s really great, Dad. You actually know him.”

“Do I?” He sounded intrigued. “That could either be very good or very bad for this boy. Considering I hate most people, it’s leaning toward very bad.”

“Yes, you do,” she said hurriedly. “Remember Andy Dwyer? He came to our house on Thanksgiving.”

There was a brief pause on the other end. “Isn’t he getting married to the dentist?”

“She’s a doctor, and no…not anymore. She dumped him a couple of weeks ago, actually.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s horrible.” April waited, holding her breath. She heard her father groan.

“I should get Diane on the phone…she’s better at this womanly talk—“

“No! Dad, no,” April sighed. “I don’t need to talk about it. I just wanted to let you know since, you know…you’ll be home soon…” She cleared her throat. “And he’s…he’s sort of living with me at the moment.”

“What?”

“He doesn’t have anywhere else to go. I’m not kicking him out,” she spoke confidently, trying to mask the fact that she was actually pretty nervous. “I mean, you won’t even have to see him if you don’t want to. He can use the side door and everything.”

“You sure this relationship is something you want?” her father asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m really sure,” she said, her spirits lifting. “He’s amazing.”

Ron sighed heavily. “You don’t throw that word around often, so I believe you. But if he hurts you like the others did, I’ll have to kick his ass.”

April smiled. “He won’t.”

“Fine,” Ron grunted. “Talk to you soon.”

“Bye dad,” she hung up, feeling immensely relieved. 

 

Now that her parents knew about Andy, coupled with the fact that they had New Year’s off, April’s workday was shaping up quite nicely by the time the afternoon rolled around.

Leslie hurried around the department during lunch, passing out reminders about the party she was hosting in the Parks office the following evening. April had already received the formal invitation a few days back. The glittery gold card arrived in a thick envelope that was mostly filled with confetti.

“I’d love it if I saw _all_ of you here tomorrow,” Leslie said happily, as the last of the reminders were distributed. “What better way to ring in the new year than with all of us together?”

“What about all of us together the _next_ day when we actually _have_ to be here for work?” April asked, rolling her eyes.

“Oh April,” Leslie shook her head. “Come on, I know you’ve got a better attitude than that.”

“Not really,” she replied, shrugging.

“We’ll be there, Leslie!” Andy announced happily, eyeing April with a grin. The two of them were sitting at the table together, sharing a bag of chips and a large soda.

April pretended to look annoyed. Honestly though, she wouldn’t mind if they went. Lately she was feeling so good that she found herself much more agreeable than she had any right to be.

“Fine,” she mumbled, smiling at him, secretly loving the way his face lit up with excitement. 

“Terrific!” Leslie beamed.

“Babe,” Andy said. “Tonight is New Year’s Eve.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, sipping through the straw. “So?”

He was looking at her with that dazed and goofy grin he had whenever she’d catch him just staring. April loved to tease him about it, but at the same time, she couldn't get enough of it.

“I dunno,” Andy shrugged. “I was just wondering if we should do something tonight to celebrate.”

Donna chimed in from her desk across the room. “You two should come to the party I’m throwing,” she said. “It’s gonna be off the chart, I can tell you that much. I’d bring a sleeping bag. People tend to get hammered off my mixed drinks.”

“We’ll see, Donna,” April shrugged. “Thanks, though.”

“Aw, babe,” Andy leaned in so he was close enough to whisper. “I know you hate going to stuff like that. We’ll just stay home, just you and me, if that’s what you wanna do.”

She smiled at him. He was better than anyone else at reading her.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “That’s exactly what I wanna do.”

“Then movies and junk food it is!” he said happily. “Oh! Can we have tacos? Can we order them? Is there a taco place in Pawnee that delivers?”

April moved to sit in Andy’s lap, leaning back to give him a kiss. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” she mumbled into his cheek.

They were interrupted by the sound of Leslie’s cell phone ringing from her office. Her voice floated out through the crack in her door as she answered.

“Hello Ann, you magical, crystalline panda bear,” she began, her smile evident in her tone. “What’s up?”

There was a pointed pause, during which Leslie remained quiet the entire time. April glanced at Andy, and he shrugged. It was odd for Leslie not to speak during _any_ conversation for that long, especially one with Ann.

“Oh, Ann, I’m sorry,” Leslie said softly, yet loud enough that they could still hear. “When?” There was another pause, and they heard her click her tongue. “Well, I’d hate to say I told you so, Ann, but I told you so. Okay. Yes, I’m sorry. Of course I feel bad. All right, call me later.” She hung up.

“Everything okay, boss?” Andy called, swiveling his chair around with April still in his lap.

“Everything’s fine Andy,” Leslie sighed. “That was just Ann. I guess she broke up with Mark this morning over breakfast.”

April’s chest tightened up. _Why the hell would Ann do that?_

“Really?” Andy made a face. “That’s weird,” he shrugged, gently messaging April’s shoulders.

April felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. It was like a pit had opened up, sucking whatever happiness she felt deep down into a dark hole leading to nowhere. Suddenly his large hands on her back felt foreign, and she shrugged him off.

“Well, she didn’t say much, but I know it was her idea,” Leslie added.

She was being dumb. Of course Andy wasn’t going to leave her and go back to Ann. That would be ridiculous. He told her he loves her. _Then again…_ She shook her head. _No. He’s not like that._

“Honey?” Andy called her, and April realized she’d zoned out.

“Huh?” she turned to him quickly.

“I said, do you want any more soda?”

“Oh,” she shook her head. “No, you have it.”

“Sweet!”

“I’m gonna get back to work,” April hopped off Andy’s lap and returned to her desk. She tried to focus for the rest of the day, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that her wonderful, newfound joy was about to be ripped from her as quickly as it’d arrived.

 

The New Year’s Eve telecasts were overrated. April had no interest in seeing the stupid ball drop, or whatever else they were broadcasting all over the TV stations. They’d managed to find a taco place that delivered, which was great, because it was cold and miserable out and April wanted no part of it.

Now they were watching some crappy horror movie instead. Something Donna had recommended, called “Death Canoe” or something weird…and it came with a ridiculous amount of sequels. It didn’t matter though, because they were hanging out and that’s all she wanted anyway.

“So your dad was cool when you told him I’d be staying with you?” Andy asked again, as April brought over a bowl of popcorn.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded. “I already told you. He’s gonna like you a lot. You love all the same things he does. Football, food, different types of meats…it’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Andy said. “It’s just, it’s important to me that your dad likes me. Ann’s dad didn’t really like me, so—“

“Yeah I get it,” April cut him off quickly. She didn’t want to talk about Ann’s _anything._ “Well, my dad’s better that that old creep anyway. I really don’t wanna talk about her or her dad.”

“No problem, honey,” Andy smiled. As he finished his beer, he looked at the empty bottle sadly.

“Shoulda bought more,” he said, sighing. “Who knew I’d finish a six-pack so quickly. It’s not even midnight yet.”

“Dude, you only started them like two hours ago!”

“I’m a fast drinker,” he laughed.

“Well, I guess we could make a quick run to—“ April stopped, suddenly remembering something.

“What’s up?” Andy looked at her quizzically.

“Wait here,” she told him, hurrying to her closet. She moved a few boxes around, pushing aside clothes and shoes, until she found a wooden box with a dusty lid. Sliding it out, she carried it over to the couch where Andy was waiting.

“What’s that?” He coughed as some of the dust was kicked up into the air.

“This,” April said, lifting the cover and producing a strangely shaped bottle of deep amber-colored liquid, “is Snakejuice.”

 _“Snakejuice?”_ Andy repeated, his eyes wide. “What the hell is Snakejuice?”

“Long story short,” April handed Andy the bottle and he inspected it. “Before Tom opened up his Bistro, he experimented with a few things…men’s cologne, clothing rental, even alcohol. You know that place downtown, the Snakehole Lounge?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there,” Andy nodded. “Kinda sleazy place.”

“Well, Tom wanted to buy stock in it. My dad eventually persuaded him not to, but in the meantime he invented this stuff to plead his case to the owner. He had dozens of bottles made, but before most of it had to be turned over to the FDA, he saved a few. I managed to swipe one of them.”

“Wow,” Andy muttered. “What’s it taste like?”

“No idea,” April shrugged. “Let’s find out.”

 

It only took a glass and a half each before they started feeling tipsy. Four glasses in, and they were flat-out drunk. After that they’d lost count. April had no idea what Tom put in the stuff, but it worked wonders. She’d already forgotten what she was worrying about earlier. Wait, why _was_ she worrying again? She laughed to herself, a high-pitched sound that made Andy giggle.

Andy hadn’t stopped singing random songs since his second glass of Snakejuice. April had no idea what the words were, since all of them came out in random jumbles of loud and soft phrases. Sometimes it sounded like a Mouse Rat song, sometimes it sounded like the National Anthem. There was no way to tell for sure.

“Such a good…such a great idea,” she mumbled, taking another sip from the nearly empty bottle. At some point they must’ve given up on using glasses. “I mean, who the hell wants to watch a stupid ball drop, right?”

“Right,” Andy nodded furiously, reaching out and grabbing April by the waist, pulling her into his lap. “We aren’t.”

“We aren’t what?” she laughed.

He smiled dumbly at her. “Huh?”

“We aren’t what? What aren’t we?” She pushed some of his short curls back, unnecessarily smoothing them out on the sides of his head. 

“We aren’t watching the ball go up,” he said, gesturing with his hand and swaying slightly.

“Oh,” she laughed again. “Nope, we’re not. It’s dumb.”

“It’s dumb,” he repeated.

“It really, really is…” she reached out, tracing the line of his jaw with one finger. Andy followed her hand with drooping eyes.

“Ugh, babe, you’re so friggin’ hot, did you know that?” he slurred. “I just wanna…I just wanna be with you all the time.” His grip traveled to her hips. He dug his fingers in, holding on tightly. “Like, I just wanna make out with your face super hard right now.”

“Mm,” April leaned forward and kissed him, narrowly missing his mouth in her sloppy effort and landing somewhere on his chin. “So let’s make out then,” she said, her arms hanging over his shoulders.

Andy pumped his fist in the air. “You’re the best.”

April cupped his cheeks and slowly kissed him, biting down on his lip carefully but firmly as she slipped her tongue in his mouth. Andy returned the gesture, running his hands up and down her back, making her shiver.

“Best idea ever,” she mumbled, breaking away for a moment. Andy ducked his head lower to the front of her shirt, gently pushing the fabric aside.

“Totally is,” he agreed, kissing her through her bra.

April leaned into him, her body going limp against his chest. “That’s so good,” she whispered. 

Andy nodded, alternating between sucking and gently biting, before leaning back again. He took a long drink from the bottle of Snakejuice, emptying it. “That was fun,” he chuckled softly, rolling the bottle across and floor and watching it tap against the far wall.

“Hey, you wanna know what else might be fun?” April held his cheeks in both her hands.

“What?” Andy stared at her with curious and hungry eyes.

Disentangling herself from his grip, she stumbled over to the drawer in the end table by her bed, and pulled out a little metal container. “I got this from Derek and Ben a while ago and I still have one left.” She handed the pre-rolled joint to Andy and smiled. “Want some?”

He stared at it for a minute, rolling it between his fingers. “Ha, yeah, I guess so.”

“Awesome, let me get my lighter,” she said, returning to the drawer again.

“I didn’t know you were…you know…into this…” he slurred.

“It helps with anxiety,” she explained, sloppily holding out the lighter. “And right now I just wanna share it with my hot boyfriend.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Andy shook his head.

By the time they’d passed it back and forth enough, April had lost all sense of time. Maybe they’d missed New Year’s Eve all together. It could very well have been past midnight and she wouldn’t know. The thought was actually a little hilarious to her.

Andy was staring at the empty bottle of Snakejuice, laughing at the ridiculous-looking snake coiled around the cap. “This bottle is so weird looking!”

At some point they’d made their way onto the rug in front of a blazing fireplace. The flames lit up the entirety of the apartment, causing shadows to dance on the floor and ceiling and across their skin. The warmth was absolutely amazing. April was back in Andy’s lap, the two of them sitting propped against the side of the couch.

She locked her arms around his neck, staring directly into his eyes.

“I love you,” she said, pressing herself against him.

“Love you,” Andy replied, holding her shoulders with both hands.

“Seriously babe, she can fuck off,” April whispered, bringing her mouth inches from his.

“Who?” He looked confused, despite the smile on his face.

“Ann Perkins, that’s who,” she mumbled, leaning down to kiss his neck, sucking lightly. He groaned in response.

“Babe, _ugh,_ why?” He slid his hands down her back until his fingertips were stuck in the waistband of her panties.

“Because, she sucks,” April could smell the alcohol and pot coming off both of them, but she didn’t care. She bit down on a spot right below his collarbone. “Because _we’re_ together now.”

“W-we are, definitely,” Andy gasped, his hands squeezing where they rested against her. “April, you’re so sexy.”

“She thinks she can just come over here and stare at you while you’re all half-naked,” April pulled his shirt up over his head and worked her mouth down his front. “She can’t.”

“No one can,” Andy shook his head. “Just you, April…”

“Andy,” her voice came out in a needy moan, as she unbuttoned her own shirt and let it slide off her shoulders. “C’mon, babe…I want you.”

Andy didn't think twice. With April’s help, he kicked off whatever clothing he was wearing right there on the floor.

April was reeling from the alcohol now. Some faraway part of her brain was telling her to slow down and think, but she ignored it. All her body was telling her at the moment was that she needed Andy in every way possible, like an ache that needed to be cured.

“C’mere,” he growled, wrapping one arm around her back and bringing his other hand down between her legs. Their mouths collided in a spectacular kiss, lips hungry for the other’s touch and eager to feel as much as possible.

“Shit, Andy,” April moaned as she started grinding against his hand in slow pulses. Reaching down to stroke him, she gasped at how hard he already was. She bit down hard on his lip, and he tensed underneath her. “You’re so ready right now, babe.”

“Uh-huh,” his eyes were wide and dilated as he watched her body roll on top of his. Finally, he just couldn’t take the friction anymore. “April…please, come on.”

“Hang on a minute,” she mumbled, a devious grin on her lips. “You’re gonna have to be patient.”

Andy followed her movements with his eyes. His breath hitched as April scooted back, slowly taking him in her mouth. He slammed his fist hard onto the floor in surprise, his pelvis twitching upwards involuntarily. She kept at it, teasing him before unexpectedly pulling herself back up, grinning broadly at her handiwork and what it did to him.

“You’re evil, babe,” he panted, a dry chuckle escaping his lips. “Just fuck me already.”

She stared at him, watching his eyes dilate as he looked her up and down hungrily. That was really all the affirmation she needed.

There was fire in her chest and between her legs as April pushed herself onto her knees, only to remove the last layer of thin fabric keeping her from him. Andy reached forward, frantically pulling at the little pink underwear until it was tangled around her ankles. Once she’d tossed them aside, she scooted forward and carefully lowered herself onto him, a low hiss escaping her lips. As she dug her nails into his shoulders, she was hit by an insane sensation that almost made her fall forward. “Oh,” she gasped, her reflexes slow, glancing down between them.

Andy threw his head back against the hard floor, his hand falling from her breast and landing on her hip. “Shit…”

Once he was fully seated within her, April placed one hand on his chest for balance and began to move, slowly swirling her hips. Andy let her do her own thing for a while, simply watching her ride him with lidded, hungry eyes. Occasionally he’d thrust up into her, moaning softly when he felt her angle shift.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, and when their eyes connected, April sped up her pace. With her free hand she grasped his, feeling the sweat dripping down her back and the pot clouding her brain, but at the same time, not caring because it felt so _damn_ good.

“Fuck,” she groaned, and she leaned across his chest to kiss him, her knees squeezing into his sides and her thrusts getting harder and faster. 

“I love you,” he groaned, his face buried in her neck. “You feel so good, babe.” His fingers trailed down her spine as she moved, pressing into her soft skin. “So fucking good…”

“Oh…” His words pushed her over the edge, pops and swirls of color suddenly exploding behind her eyelids. She came hard around him, shaking, with a drawn out moan that sounded more like a yell, making her thankful that no one else was home except the two of them. She breathed through it, lying across Andy there on the floor. She kissed his chest and neck, closing her eyes while she rested her head.

Andy rubbed her back for a few minutes, until he was sure she was properly recovered. Then he carefully lifted her off him, standing up shakily with her in his arms.

“Andy?” she mumbled, her brain confused.

“Shh,” he carried her, stumbling here and there because hell, they were both drunk, and placed her carefully on her stomach across the bed. April understood once Andy climbed on top of her.

“You good, babe?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded, breathing fast. She grabbed fistfuls of the blanket and smiled up at him over her shoulder. “It’s your turn.”

April loved every bit of Andy’s heavy, grunting thrusts from behind as they shook the small bed, his massive body towering over her. At one point the alcohol was starting to make her nauseous, so she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the sensation.

“You’re so… _ugh_ …amazing…” his words were brief, his voice dry and harsh as he gripped her shoulders. April didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay like this before she finally passed out. The energy must’ve begun to dilute the buzz she had going, because now she felt more sick than anything. Andy was close…he was getting sloppy.

She buried her face in her pillow, crying out with him as he finished. She felt sudden warmth in slow spurts, confused before she realized what must’ve happened. They hadn’t used a condom. Either way, she came again purely because of how new and amazing it felt.

“April,” Andy broke away from her, immediately pulling her shaky body to his own and lying them both down in the tangle of blankets. “I love you so fucking much,” he whispered, jagged breaths harsh against her neck. He wrapped her in his arms as they lay there, Andy out of breath and spent, and April nauseous but completely sated.

Together, they finally gave in to the effects of the Snakejuice.

 

April woke up to a pounding headache the following day. It felt like she’d been hit with a large, heavy rock. Lifting her body even a little bit resulted in the most uncomfortable sickly sensation she’d ever felt. She felt Andy’s warm, sweaty body behind her as always. His hand was around her, his palm gently cupping her breast. Somehow he’d managed to fall asleep that way. It made her smile, regardless of the fact that she felt like death. The alarm clock read one o’clock in the afternoon.

Her legs were sore, and her back ached terribly. She remembered very little of the previous night, although she did remember the sex. She spotted their various pieces of clothing and underwear scattered all over the floor, and that made sense. It was pretty amazing, and hard to forget. _What the hell happened, though?_

Scanning the room a little more, her eyes landed on the empty bottle of Snakejuice.

“Shit,” she mumbled, and almost instantly she noticed how funny her mouth tasted. Like sickly sweet, tangy, and a strong aftertaste of alcohol and pot. The room also had a smoky aroma to it. She instinctively looked over to the fireplace, noticing the dried pile of ash in the grate. They must’ve fallen asleep with the fire still lit, and she was silently thankful the whole place hadn’t burned down.

Andy’s hand slid off her as she sat up straighter, but she instantly regretted it. The contents of her stomach heaved. Grabbing the little trash bin by her bed, she promptly puked in it, groaning as her head hit the pillow.

“April?”

She turned slowly to look at Andy, who was staring groggily at her. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he yawned.

“How are you feeling?” April asked, already guessing the answer.

“Terrible.”

“Yeah,” April groaned. “Same here…I think we got a little carried away last night.”

“I’m glad we don’t have work today,” Andy said, his voice scratchy. “I don’t think I’d be able to do it.”

“Definitely not, I think—“ April stopped short and grabbed the trash again, as more of the Snakejuice made a reappearance.

Andy rubbed her back soothingly while she clutched the little plastic bin to her chest.

“Now I know why that crap was confiscated,” she sighed, coughing up some of the tangy liquid.

“Never again,” Andy shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “Never, ever again… Babe, I think I smoked pot last night.”

“You did,” she told him. “We both did.”

“Oh man,” he sighed. He turned onto his side to face her, his long arm draping over her middle. “Hey, honey,” he said suddenly. “Don’t we have a thing to go to tonight? That New Year’s Day thing Leslie’s hosting at the Office?”

“Oh, damn,” April groaned. “Yeah, we promised her we’d go. Andy, I don’t think I can do it.”

“Well, let’s see how we feel in a few hours,” Andy pulled her against his chest, stroking her hair. “If we feel up to it, we’ll go.”

“Sure,” she sighed.

“Hey, how much Snakejuice did we drink last night?”

“The whole bottle,” she mumbled.

“Damn,” Andy shook his head. “I don’t remember that at all.”

 

For as much as Andy seemed to be feeling better as the afternoon wore on, April seemed to be feeling worse. Once he’d gotten enough substantial food in him—in this case, burgers and fries—Andy was acting like himself, albeit extremely hungover. April couldn’t keep much of anything down, and was restricted to resting on the couch or in her bed. The very smell of food was making her sick to her stomach, although she drank plenty of water under Andy’s strict supervision.

“Hey, what d’you think babe,” Andy asked softly, sitting next to her on the couch. “I’ll stay home tonight with you.”

“No, you should go to Leslie’s stupid thing,” April muttered bitterly. “Normally I’d say screw it, but she was super cool about the whole thing with us dating. One of us should go if we can, and that means you.” 

“Ya sure?” Andy looked apprehensive. “I’m sure if I explained it to her…”

“No, just go,” she nodded. “I’m gonna sleep most of the time you’re gone anyway. Then when you come back we’ll watch a movie or something, or maybe play some more video games before John comes back tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Andy kissed her head. “Try to eat something, okay? I’ll be back in a couple of hours. I won’t stay late.”

 

It wasn’t until hours later, when she woke up out of an uncomfortable sleep, that April realized Andy wasn’t back yet. Leslie’s party was supposed to have started at six. The clock read nine. Panicking slightly, April pulled out her phone and dialed Andy’s number. She heard the ring tone, and her heart thumped as she waited for his always jovial voice to pick up on the other end. There was obviously a reason he was late, especially if he promised he’d only be a couple of hours. 

She heard the vibration of a phone coming from somewhere in the room, and her heart sank. Buried in the cushions of the couch, his phone was going off, the screen reading her own number back at her. He’d forgotten it.

_Okay, no problem…I’ll call Donna. Donna was there, and she can tell me what’s going on._

“April?” Donna’s voice picked up after the first ring. “Where are you? What’s going on? Andy said you weren’t feeling well. Are you okay?”

“I’m—I’m just a little—yeah, I’m fine,” she breathed. “Um, is Andy there? Are you guys still at the party?”

“No,” Donna sounded concerned. “No, the party ended over an hour ago. I’m at the Snakehole Lounge.”

“Andy was supposed to be home by now—“

“You mean he’s not with you?” Donna sounded surprised.

“No, he took my car…I’m at home.”

“April,” Donna sighed. “The last I saw of Andy, he was leaving Parks talking to Ann.”

“Ann?” April said softly. “Ann was there?”

“Yeah,” Donna said slowly. “She got off work or something, and she showed up about an hour or so into the party.”

April felt an icy chill run down her spine, so confused and shocked that she nearly dropped the phone. She heard Donna calling her name on the other end. 

“April? You still there?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, holding back tears. “Yeah, I’m still here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Delicate" by Damien Rice


	11. How to Save a Life

_“Are you okay?”_ Donna’s voice rose as April held the phone away from her ear.

“No,” April said softly.

“Stay there, I’m coming over—“

Hanging up without warning, April dropped the phone and fell to her knees. She didn’t know what to think…what to feel. She honestly _couldn’t_ feel anything if she tried. She was a numb, shaking ball of a person.

_“The last I saw of Andy, he was leaving Parks talking to Ann.”_

Donna’s words echoed in her brain, taunting her. He left her—that was her first thought. He dumped her and went back to Ann the first chance he got, just like she was afraid he would. Everything she knew from her past was true. She could never trust anyone. She should have learned the first time, but she let her heart and her stupidity get in the way, thinking this would be different. Even someone like Andy, it turned out, was bound to give her nothing but pain in the long run.

_I’m wrong…I’ve got to be. He’s Andy. He wouldn’t do this to me._

He _did_ though. He did do this to you, and he’s somewhere with Ann right now doing who knows what.

Still, a tiny part of her refused to believe it. He was so sweet, so loving. He was gentle and caring, and when she was with him, she never felt like she was being used.

_He told me he loved me._

That was before his ex-girlfriend decided to show up at the front door, and dump the guy she left him for in the first place. She could taste the vomit coming up the back of her throat. It burned sickeningly, making her eyes water and her stomach gurgle.

Miserably, April realized once again that she was nothing more than the side-fling. The woman who was merely a place holder until the man she loved had the opportunity to return to that which was better.

She didn’t want to think anymore. Clutching her heaving stomach, she hurried out of her apartment and down to the second floor, stumbling at the bottom of the staircase. 

In her parents’ closet, her father had built a secret compartment. She was the only one aside from Tom and Diane who knew about it, due to the countless times she’d hidden in this particular closet to avoid speaking to houseguests as a kid. Bitterly, she thought of the worst event in her memory—her mother’s funeral—where she’d taken refuge in that closet for close to three hours, until all the mourners had left for good. Tom was the one who’d eventually found her, hidden in the far back behind the clothes. Then, she was just a scared five-year-old who wanted to hide from the world. Unfortunately, right now she didn’t feel much different.

Opening the compartment—which was hidden behind some shoe boxes—April pulled out Ron’s emergency bottle of Lagavulin whiskey. She stuffed it under her arm and ran back up to the third floor.

 

Slumping against the kitchen wall, April took a long drink from the glass in her hand and clutched the bottle to her chest, feeling that familiar burning sensation as the alcohol traveled down her throat. It mixed horribly in her stomach, a rolling, nauseating liquid mess that hit her hard. Her hangover headache doubled, tripled, multiplied until she couldn’t see straight. 

_Look around—you’re alone again. It was fun while it lasted. Obviously being alone is best, though._

She stared at her bed, where the sheets lay in a rumpled mess from the previous night and this morning. Her “safe place” was no longer safe. She should’ve never brought him here.

_We had sex in that bed less than twenty-four hours ago…he told me he loved me._

Her mind traveled back to the previous night, remembering the feeling of his strong body pressed against hers. Loving her, kissing her until her head spun. The things he’d said to her then, and the countless other times they’d loved each other during their time together, promises of the future and the things he wanted to do with _her,_ and her alone. Apparently all for nothing…

Andy’s boxers were tangled up in his sweatpants in the corner by the bed. Anger flared in her chest at the sight of them, untouched since the night before. Without thinking, she hurled the glass across the room, where it shattered against the wall and fell to the floor in hundreds of crystal shards.

Somewhere in the vicinity, she could hear a phone going off. It might’ve been hers or it might’ve been Andy’s, but either way she wasn’t going to answer. She stared at his guitar propped up against the wall, and wondered how long it would be before he returned to claim all his things to take back to Ann’s house.

_The jersey…will he take that too?_

The phone went off again, further incensing her. She took another drink, straight from the bottle.

“Fuck, just leave me alone,” she muttered angrily.

April’s mouth felt tight, her jaw stuck. Words were hard to form. She felt dizzy, sick, nauseated…anxious. Walking on shaky legs to where her phone was vibrating on the table, she saw an unknown number. She took it and threw it across the room, where it fell to the floor to join the broken whisky glass.

Grabbing the table for balance, April sobbed, dragging herself over to her bed and collapsing onto it miserably. It smelled like him. The pillow he used, the blanket, his shirt…all of it smelled like Andy and she hated it. That didn’t stop her from clutching the shirt to her chest, burying her face in it.

_“I love you so fucking much,” he’d said, after they’d fucked, after she’d felt connected to him in ways she’d never fully understand._

Another swallow of whiskey, and the room was spinning. _I don’t want to feel anymore._ Another immediately after that, and everything was blurry. _I just want to sleep._ Downing the rest of the glass in one hit, she closed her eyes.

_Why did you make me do this? I wanted that baby…how could you do this to me?_

 

_“April?”_

Someone was calling her name.

“April, can you hear me?”

_“Andy?”_

“It’s not Andy,” the voice said, clearly this time. Now April realized it was a woman. “Can you hear me?”

“Leave me alone,” she heard herself mumble. 

“I need you to open your eyes and look at me.”

April tried to open her eyes, but it felt like someone was pressing on her chest and it was hard to move. Her head hurt like hell, and a shooting pain throbbed behind her eyes and forehead. A dull beeping filled her ears.

“Can I get more fluids, please?” she heard the woman’s voice say. “Also another warm blanket. Thanks.”

April moved her fingers and felt them brush over soft fabric. However, it wasn’t the familiar cotton of her bedsheets. It was rough, scratchy, and smelled a little like laundry detergent.

_“What is this?”_

“You’re at St. Joseph’s Medical Center,” the voice said. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Summoning the strength to open her eyes a fraction of an inch, April saw that she was indeed in a hospital bed.

“April?”

That grating voice…it sounded uncomfortably familiar to her. She turned her head, trying to ignore the pain. Ann Perkins was sitting by the bed and dressed in her hospital scrubs, just staring at her.

_What the hell?_

Immediately, April tensed and tried to sit up. Horrifyingly, she discovered that she was strapped down around her middle.

“No!” she yelled, looking around desperately for someone else. “No, I don’t want this doctor!” Her voice was raw and scratchy, and she could barely make out her own words. “Hey!” She yelled louder, trying to get the attention of a nurse passing by the room. Unfortunately, the door was closed.

Ann stood, immediately backing up. “Okay. April—calm down! It’s okay,” Ann tried to put her hand on April’s arm, but she yanked it away.

“No! I don’t want you!” April screamed. _“Don’t fucking touch me!”_

“April, I’m here to help you, I _swear!_ I need you to calm down,” Ann pleaded, grasping April’s shoulders, trying to hold her still. “We need to talk.”

“No! Go away!”

“Calm down, or I’m going to have to restrain your arms! I don’t wanna do that, but I will!”

“Get away from me, slut!” April screamed, tears stinging her eyes now. “Don’t you have to go steal someone else’s boyfriend before the end of the day?”

Ann released her and backed up a few steps, staring sadly. April’s chest was rising and falling, her head spinning and heart thumping through her ribs.

“Get me a phone. I’m calling Donna. I need to get outta here.” 

“April,” Ann started again slowly, taking a seat on the swivel stool and cautiously moving closer to the bed. “Listen to me. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it’s probably not right.”

“Where’s Andy?” April spat, her voice breaking when she said his name. “Did he already move back in with you? Gonna put your stupid, forced engagement back on so he can buy you a ring he can’t afford and you can force him to be a fucking _businessman?_ Is that what you need to feel good about yourself?” Thick tears were stinging her eyes now. “Well, guess what? He doesn’t want that! Don’t you get it?”

Ann looked at her, her eyes narrow. “April,” she shook her head. “Andy isn’t at my house. He was _never_ at my house last night. Andy’s the one who brought you here. You’re lucky to be alive.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The anger April was trying so hard to project was ebbing away as fast as it had flared up. “Where is he?” She asked again.

Ignoring the question, Ann picked up a clipboard and flipped through the papers quickly. “You almost drank yourself to death, April.”

April stared at Ann. She didn’t want to believe a word of what she was saying, but at the same time, she knew it had to be at least _half_ true. The taste of Lagavulin was still thick in the back of her throat.

“Your blood alcohol content was dangerously high,” Ann shook her head. “I don’t know what you were thinking.”

“You took him,” April choked out, overcome with tears. “You saw how happy we were, and you took him back.” The last sentence came out in a whisper, and she gripped the bedsheets tightly.

“No, I didn’t,” Ann assured her. “Please, let me tell you the whole story before we do anything else.” She sighed, clearing her throat. “Yes, last night Andy and I _did_ leave the Parks Department party together, but only because I had to talk to him. I had a lot of things that I needed to tell him that _he_ needed to hear from _me_ alone.”

April stared at the woman bitterly, but she remained silent as Ann recounted the events of the previous night.

“We went to JJ’s to grab a coffee,” Ann started. “Believe me, the whole time Andy kept telling me he needed to get back to you, because you were sick and he promised you he wouldn’t be long. The fact that he was so late to get home was entirely my fault. He wanted to call you, but he realized he’d forgotten his phone. Then you weren’t picking up when I let him borrow mine.”

While Ann was talking, a nurse arrived with a bag of fluids. Ann paused to hook up the fresh supply to April’s IV, before taking her seat again to continue. 

“When you didn’t answer the second time, Andy left in a hurry. You can imagine my surprise when he came rushing into the ER not an hour later, carrying you and yelling for help. I’d just started the night shift, so I was the first one to respond.”

“What were you talking to him about at JJ’s?” April asked, glaring at her.

“I apologized to him for the way I treated him,” Ann said simply. “You know, the whole thing. The fling with Mark, kicking him out of the house… It turned out Mark wasn’t who I thought he was. Andy had warned me to stay away from that guy, but I didn’t listen. Even Leslie told me she thought it was a bad idea to date him. I was being stupid. Being with Mark made me realize what I’d lost in Andy. I’m not gonna lie to you, I regretted dumping him. It was a shitty thing to do.”

“I’ll say,” April said softly.

“So, when I saw you guys the other day when I dropped off the clothes…I realized I’d lost my chance. Leslie told me you were together now…and she also told me how happy Andy is. I guess I had to see it for myself before I could finally let go.”

April’s head was aching. She wanted so badly for everything Ann was saying to be true. She couldn’t though, not until she saw him.

“Where is he?” She asked softly, finally meeting Ann’s eyes.

“He’s talking to your parents,” Ann replied. “They got here from the airport just a few minutes ago. I guess Donna got in contact with them. You wouldn’t be able to tell, but it’s three in the afternoon. You’ve been here for almost eighteen hours.”

April closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “So, what happened to me?”

“You drank too much,” Ann said simply. “Like, a dangerous amount. You had enough alcohol in your system to knock out a two hundred pound man. We had to pump your stomach. You were a real mess when Andy brought you here. Thank God he found you in time.” She reached over and unclasped the belt restraining April’s waist.

“Finally,” April muttered. 

“Sorry, but we didn’t want you rolling over in case you vomited.”

April sighed. Not only did she feel terrible, but mentally she was exhausted.

“So…I guess you know all my secrets now, don’t you?” she said bitterly.

Ann shrugged. “I know enough. Being your doctor and all, I needed to find out a bit about your medical history before I treated you.”

“That’s an invasion of privacy,” April scoffed.

“Not if I’m your _doctor,_ it isn’t.” Ann put April’s clipboard under her arm. “I’m legally required to keep these things private. So don’t worry.”

April rolled her eyes. An awkward silence fell between the two of them.

“So,” Ann tapped her legs with her hand. “Did you wanna talk about it—“

“I want to see him,” April interrupted softly.

“Who, Andy?”

“Who the hell else could I be talking about?” April bit back. “I need to talk to him.”

“Believe me, Andy wants to see you too,” Ann replied. “He’s been in and out of your room enough times, and so far you’ve been asleep. Just talk to your parents first. They’re waiting to see you, and Andy’s not going anywhere. He can wait a little longer.”

April leaned back against the pillow, looking everywhere but at Ann. Her eyes landed on a familiar-looking plaid shirt, draped over the chair by her bed.

“He really loves you, you know,” Ann said, following April’s eyes. “He told me…when we were at JJ’s.” The doctor picked up the rest of her files. “It’s funny, we used to tell each other ‘I love you’ all the time,” she added. “But listening to him talk about you…I don’t think he’s ever really meant it until now.”

April nodded stiffly, wiping at her eyes. Ann handed her Andy’s shirt, and she immediately clutched it to her chest.

They were interrupted as the door opened, and none other than Dr. Chris Traeger stepped into the room. He looked absolutely relieved when he realized that April was wide awake. When he noticed that she wasn’t alone, he stopped and turned to Ann.

“Oh—hi there! I was just dropping off April’s files for…” he checked his notes. “A Dr. Perkins?”

“That would be me,” Ann said, taking them from Chris with a smile. “I’m Dr. Perkins. Ann,” she added, nodding at him.

“Dr. Ann Perkins,” Chris repeated, shaking her hand. His blue eyes were sparkling. “It’s my pleasure to meet you. I’m Chris Traeger, April’s psychiatrist.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Ann said, and April saw her cheeks flush.

“Well, April,” Chris said suddenly, turning to her. “I am so _thrilled_ that you’re awake. I’ll come meet with you tonight to talk about a few things, okay?” His mega-watt smile was back as he turned to Ann again. “Dr. Ann Perkins, I hope we run into each other again.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” Ann smiled. “Yeah, I hope we will. I mean—I’m sure we will. We’re both doctors, right? We practically live here!” She laughed awkwardly, and April scrunched up her face.

Chris waved at the both of them before hurrying out the door, giving a thumbs-up to a passing patient. April glanced at Ann, her mouth a thin line.

“He seems nice,” Ann said in a high-pitched voice, looking away from the door quickly and rifling through the folders.

“Yeah,” April nodded, suddenly uncomfortable. “You two weirdos are perfect for each other.”

Ann coughed pointedly, looking up at April. “So, uh, you want me to call your family in now?”

“Sure.”

Ann disappeared into the hallway, temporarily leaving April to her thoughts. She would’ve loved more time alone to think, but at that moment, Ron and Diane rushed in with Tom on their heels.

“Honey!” Diane cried. “We just heard—are you okay?”

“What the hell happened?” Ron’s booming voice carried throughout the small room.

“I’m fine,” April said softly, suddenly ashamed now that her parents were here and seeing her like this. “I was stupid, but I’m okay.”

“April,” Diane said sadly. “Do you have any idea how terrified we were when we found out you were at the hospital? When Donna called us, we were just about to get on the plane home.”

“I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.

Tom rubbed his forehead with his fingers, pacing near the door to her room.

“Seriously dude, I don’t know what you were thinking,” her brother said, sounding for once like an actual adult who was scolding her as thought she forgot to do her homework. “You could’ve—you promised you wouldn’t let anything like this happen again!”

“I’m sorry, Tom,” April said sincerely. And she was.

They stayed for close to an hour, talking to her and trying to piece together the whole story. Ann filtered in and out of the room, checking April’s stats and giving her medication for her headache and other pains. April tried as best as she could to leave her meltdown over Andy out of the conversation. She didn’t want them to know it was over a guy again, especially after everything Ann told her. She knew they couldn’t take that kind of stress, knowing that she’d relapsed into depression so much so that she nearly killed herself. So, she just stuck with the “I drank too much” story. She knew they didn’t totally believe it, but they didn’t press for details. Tom especially kept eyeing her, shooting her looks every now and then. Eventually, they felt comfortable enough to leave.

“We’ll be back later,” Diane said sternly. “The kids are in the waiting room, and once we bring them home and get settled, we’ll be on our way. You call if you need anything, okay?”

“I will,” April promised, feeling tired.

“I think you have another visitor,” Ron muttered, pointing to the door.

“Who?” April’s heart fluttered.

“From what I’ve been told, your friend Andy has been here this whole time. When we got here, he told us how he brought you in last night. Apparently he’s been in and out of your room all day.”

April stared at the door, not saying a word.

“Want me to send him in?” Ron asked, looking at Diane and Tom waiting in the hallway.

April nodded, a small smile on her lips. Her father nodded in return and left the room, following his wife and son.

Not a minute later, Andy appeared in the doorway. When he saw that she was awake, he opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but remained silent. He stared at her with tired, red eyes and barely a smile on his face, but April could see the relief there as well. His right hand was completely bandaged up.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“April,” Andy said, his voice hitching. He rushed forward and fell into the seat by her bed, taking her hand and kissing it. “What happened?”

“What happened to your hand?” she asked, distracted by the sight of it.

“What?” He looked down for moment, then back at her. “No—forget my stupid hand,” he shook his head. _“What happened?”_

She stared at him, her head hurting and her eyes watery. “I thought you left,” she said in a small voice. “I heard that you left the stupid party with Ann. I thought you weren’t coming back because you didn’t come home. I was already sick and hungover from the stupid Snakejuice, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I started remembering things…stuff that used to just make me feel horrible. I started drinking more because I wanted to forget, and I guess I passed out.” 

“April, you really thought I left?” Andy looked at her with wide, sad eyes. “After everything…after all that, you thought I was just going to leave you?”

“That’s what they all do,” she said quietly. “They leave.”

“That’s not what _I_ do,” Andy sighed, rubbing her fingers with his uninjured hand. “I’m sorry I was late coming home. I tried calling and you weren’t picking up. I rushed home, and you weren’t answering. I didn’t have a key, so I rang the doorbell, pounded on the door, tried the side door…nothing was working. I called Donna, and she said she talked to you and told me how upset you got, and then I just…I freaked out. I smashed a window with my fist and got into the house that way.”

April looked quickly at Andy’s hand, and then his face. “You smashed a window?”

“Yeah, it’s okay, though,” he shrugged, staring at the bandages. “I only needed something like, a hundred stitches, so I got off easy.”

“Andy…”

“I found you on the bed upstairs. There was glass everywhere, and you weren’t waking up when I was shaking you. I didn’t even know if you were breathing. You have no idea how scary that was.”

“I’m sorry,” she said seriously. “It was stupid. I can’t believe I was so dumb—I told you, I’m a mess. I’m not—I’ve just got issues. I’m sorry.”

“April, that stuff doesn’t bother me. So what if you see a doctor and take pills and stuff? I don’t care about that. I care about you. I wanna be with you.” He kissed her head. “There was no chance of me leaving you to go back to Ann. Never,” he added. “She actually wanted to talk to me about everything, and apologize—“

“I know,” she placed her hand on his cheek and nodded. “She told me everything.”

“She did?”

“Yeah,” April nodded. “It’s okay.”

Andy looked relieved, slumping back a little in the chair.

There was a prolonged silence after that. April listened to Andy’s strong, steady breathing from next to her, and suddenly felt very foolish. She almost threw everything away because of her insecurities. She almost lost him forever.

“I’m sorry, Andy,” she said again, looking at him.

He turned his head, a small smile on his lips. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for either,” she shrugged.

He nodded, still gripping her hand. “I broke a window in your house, though.”

“Yeah, but…that’s so incredibly hot that you would do that for me…I kinda don’t mind,” she said, smirking.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded. “I sorta hope you have a battle scar after that.”

“Sweet,” he said, chuckling.

April closed her eyes a little. It would feel so good to just fall back asleep. “Hey, come up here with me,” she patted the bed. 

“Yeah?”

“Dude, duh.”

Andy awkwardly hopped up on the small bed, squeezing himself in next to her. There wasn’t a lot of space, but April didn't mind. In fact, she preferred to feel him pressed up like this, securely beside her. He put his arm around her and rested his head in the crook of her neck.

April pushed back into him, until she felt as safe and secure as she did in her own bed. That’s who Andy was to her now. He was safety, security, and love. She almost lost it all because of a stupid misunderstanding.

“From now on, when one of us is hungover, we stick together. Deal?” Andy asked softly.

“Deal,” she smiled.

“Leslie and Ben are on their way to see you,” he mumbled into her neck, kissing the skin there and giving her goosebumps. “Donna told them what happened. She’s on her way too,” he added.

“Mmhm,” she nodded.

“I love you, April,” Andy sighed, sounding just as tired as she felt.

“I love you too, Andy.” It felt so good to be the one to say it back.

He rubbed her arm up and down, entwining his fingers with hers when he reached her hand. 

“I told them they might need to wait a little while though,” he said. “Our friends…when they come and see you.”

“Why?” She asked, her eyes closed.

“I thought I was losing you,” he said softly. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.” April heard his breathing catch, and he only pushed closer to her. “But you’re here, and I got you back. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

April opened her eyes and smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Andy asked.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "How to Save a Life" by The Fray


	12. Five Years Time

_Three Months Time_

The night was quiet. The only sounds were the crickets chirping, hidden deep in the bushes scattered throughout the backyard. Spring was in full force, and the night was one of the most perfect they’d seen in a long, long time. Lanterns were strung up in a neat procession, leading up to the tiny white archway that still smelled of freshly cut wood and drying paint. The flowers entwined throughout the crisscross pattern added just the right pop of color, pulling other shades of peach, plum and deep green from various spots in the yard.

All ten chairs were neatly arranged. Two pairs of five were set on each side of the makeshift aisle of petals, while another trail of lanterns lined the ground. The candles within illuminated the way back to the house like a long moonbeam.

Andy stood under the archway of flowers, staring off in the direction of the house. His hands fiddled idly in his pockets, occasionally pulling them out to flatten the blue jersey against his chest and tuck the end of it further into his belt. Back and forth he paced, always the same three-foot distance. The butterflies in his stomach just wouldn’t give him a break. The justice of the peace stood off to the side, smiling benignly as she waited.

Soon they all began taking their seats. Ben, leading his heavily pregnant wife to the folding chairs on the left. Leslie looked so happy, she didn’t seem to mind that her stomach was taking up most of the chair. Tom, together with a beaming Lucy, walked to the section on the right. A beautiful diamond glittered on her left hand as they moved in the lantern light. 

One by one, the kids arrived. Zoe, Ivy and John were dressed in their very best, all three opting for a seat next to their older brother and his fiancé. The younger girls wore corsages of the same peach and plum flowers on the archway, while John wore a single flower on his jacket.

Donna arrived next, a small bouquet in her hand as she walked down the aisle, taking a seat near Ben and Leslie. When she eyed Andy, she gave him a wink and a tiny nod. He smiled at her in return. By now his heart was pumping wildly, filling his ears and drowning out all other sound.

As he continued to walk his familiar trajectory, Andy saw the back door open once again. Diane looked beautiful and proud as she walked down the aisle to take her seat next to Donna. She too gave him a look, one of love, thanks, and gratitude. Andy couldn’t help but blush.

The door opened one final time, and everyone stood to turn toward the house. Andy felt his mouth drop open, staring intently at the two figures illuminated in the lantern light. Ron was leading April down the pathway. Slowly, the two made their way, April clutching her father’s arm, looking absolutely beautiful in a simple, white summer dress. She kept her focus locked on Andy, and he could tell that her eyes were red. Ron looked solemn, his face unreadable even as he turned to shake Andy’s hand, giving him a stiff nod before pulling his daughter into a tight hug. He took his seat next to his wife, where she immediately wrapped her arm through his, whispering something in his ear. 

April stepped across from Andy, looking directly into his eyes. He could feel what little composure he had managed to maintain slowly ebbing away as he stared back at her. Everything he ever wanted in life was right here in front of him. Everything they had to look forward to, they would do it together. He reached for her, and together they clasped hands. Her smile lit up her beautiful face, and he could barely keep from pulling her into his arms right then and there. Slowly, he took one hand and reached out to brush against her stomach, where the small bump remained mostly hidden under the loose fabric of the cotton dress.

“I love you,” he mouthed to her, as the justice of the peace began to speak.

“I love you,” she mouthed back, grasping his hands tightly.

There, under the stars and the wooden archway of flowers, they shared their first kiss as husband and wife.

 

_Three and Six Months Time_

“It’s a beautiful boy!” The doctor announced, lifting the wailing newborn higher so April could take a closer look. Beside her, Andy let out a shout of pure joy, his eyes shining with tears, before leaning over to plant a kiss on his wife’s sweaty forehead. Panting, April nodded as she fell back against the pillow, trying to catch a moment’s rest. Her hand remained firmly clamped in his as she took deep, even breaths.

Their son’s cries echoed off the walls of the delivery room as the nurses hurried to lay him across his mother’s chest. April stared at the new little creature, this tiny soul that she and Andy had created. Almost as though he understood, the baby’s howls quieted to soft whimpers, and his dark eyes focused on his mother’s face. She smiled at him, almost refusing to believe he was real.

“Hey…hey baby,” she said softly, her voice shaky. “Our beautiful boy…”

Andy placed his finger on the baby’s hand, barely the size of his own thumb. “Babe,” he said softly, leaning his head into hers. “You’re amazing.” He took a deep breath, kissing her again. “I love you so much.”

April rested her palm on their son’s side, rubbing her thumb across his slippery skin. “Andy, look at him…he’s perfect. He’s— _ah…”_ She winced as that familiar pressure pain started up again.

“All right, looks like we’re ready for baby number two.” The doctor looked up, and the nurse swooped in to take their son to be cleaned, measured and weighed. Andy’s focus switched back to his wife in an instant. He took her hand again, giving it an encouraging squeeze, his green eyes locking onto hers. 

“You can do this, sweetheart,” he whispered so only she could hear. “One more time, babe. I’m right here with you. I’m not leaving your side.”

April nodded, trying to keep her breathing even like they’d told her. Frankly, it was hard to remember _anything_ of what they’d told her. Pain had a way of pushing all other things to the back of her mind. The first baby had already taken so much out of her, and she wanted nothing more than to rest, to fall asleep with Andy beside her. Then she remembered that from now on, it wasn’t going to be _just_ her and Andy anymore. That singular thought spurred her on.

“Okay…I’m ready,” she nodded, clutching his hand.

“Here we go,” the doctor signaled her. “I need a big push, April.”

She screamed through this one, a long, loud sound. It felt like she was being torn apart at the seams. Every bit of her was crying out for this to end. She needed her lower half to stop feeling like it was on fire, and she craved those little ice chips, wanting to chew on them until her mouth was numb. This second baby was proving far more difficult than the first. God, _two_ …she was having _two._

_One was a big enough surprise in itself._

“April, you’re almost there. I can see the baby’s head. We just need one more big one,” the doctor announced.

As a sharp knife-like sensation split down her middle, April groaned loudly and shook her head.

 _I can’t…I can’t do anymore._

“I’m freaking _done,”_ she said heavily, grabbing the side of the cot with her free hand. “I can’t push anymore—I can’t do it. Andy—I can’t do it anymore—”

“Honey,” Andy kissed her hand, his voice soothing. “You’re _so_ beautiful right now. I wish you could see what I can see. You _can_ do it, I know you can. Then we get to see our babies together. It’s going to be _so_ awesome.” He smiled warmly at her, and she could see the genuine excitement all over his face. “But I need you to push, okay?” 

She nodded frantically, focusing on his supportive words and burying them in her brain.

“Andy,” the doctor gestured for him to come to the end of the cot. “She’s just about there if you want to watch again.”

Andy bounded forward like an eager child, not wanting to miss a single moment of the birth. He held April’s hand for as far as she could reach, waiting at the end of the bed with the most excited face April had ever seen—or rather, since she had their first baby barely five minutes ago.

“Okay, April—here we go,” the doctor warned her. “One, two three…”

Another agonizing scream, lots of pressure, a searing pain, and suddenly nothing at all. For a moment, April thought she’d passed out. Then she heard the sound of a new set of wailing lungs, even louder than the first. She opened her eyes to Andy’s tearful, awestruck face, as he looked on in wonderment.

“And…we have a girl this time!” her doctor announced, holding the second baby up for her to see.

“Honey! _A girl!”_ Andy shouted happily, running his hand through his hair and pumping his fist. 

They placed the baby girl on April’s chest, where only minutes before her brother had laid. This time, knowing it was over and that she’d done it, April actually cried. Happy tears, but tears nonetheless. She reached out with shaky hands, stroking the baby’s fine black hair as Andy came up beside them, kissing her lovingly on the lips. He turned to stare at his baby girl with love in his eyes.

“She's beautiful babe, just like you,” he said proudly, kissing April’s messy, matted hair as she tried to catch a breath in the midst of the emotional overflow. “She looks just like you.” He wiped away the wetness on his cheeks and leaned down to get a better look at his daughter, holding her delicate hand.

When the nurse took her to be cleaned, another nurse brought back their son, placing him in April’s arms. He was no longer bawling, but wrapped snugly in his warm hospital blanket, content and still. He observed his parents with interest, as though he was just as fascinated with them as they were infatuated with him.

Andy remained speechless, staring at the newborn like he never wanted to look away, until April got his attention. Carefully, she lifted her arms ever so slightly. Andy stared at her, his mouth agape, almost as though he was afraid he’d break something if he moved.

“Andy, it’s okay,” she said smiling. “It’s okay. You can hold him.”

Delicately, Andy took the baby in his arms. In that moment, his entire demeanor changed. In mere seconds, he became a father.

“Hey buddy,” he whispered to his son, a smile lighting up his face. “Hey…I’m so glad to finally meet you. You’re so awesome. So, so amazing.” He leaned down to give their baby the gentlest kiss on the head. April watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek, while Andy kept his focus locked on the tiny life in his arms.

“Here’s mommy and daddy,” the nurse announced, bringing the newly cleaned baby girl over to join the rest of her family. She too was wrapped in a blanket, a soft pink cap placed carefully on her head. She yawned wide as April held her.

“I know, baby. Momma’s tired too,” April whispered.

Andy carefully placed his son in April’s arms to switch for his daughter. He wouldn’t tear his eyes away from the three of them.

“Andy,” she looked up at him. “I can’t believe they’re here.” Her voice was raspy with exhaustion and her body was completely fatigued, but in that moment, April felt as though she could move mountains.

“Babe,” he smiled at her, taking a seat in the chair beside her bed. “They’re absolutely perfect. You’re the most _amazing_ person in the world.”

After a few more minutes of simply holding them, and with a little help from the nurses, both babies quickly began to nurse…and April finally felt like she could relax. She felt like a mother, she felt amazing, and she felt loved…and _she_ had never loved three people more in her entire life.

“I love you. All three of you,” Andy said, resting his chin in his hand as he watched them with all the love in the world.

“Love you too,” April sighed contentedly, a tired smile stretching across her face.

 

_Nine Months and Four Years Time_

April stepped into the empty hallway of the little house. The new, polished hard wood floors gleamed in the light of the sun from the many windows, leading off into several rooms before stopping at the tiled floor of the currently empty kitchen. It smelled like fresh paint and cool fall air.

She could learn to love this.

 _“Mommy!”_ the little voice came from the back yard, where the sliding glass door was open and blowing some dried leaves into the empty dining room. Her son ran to her, his black hair a wild mess and his brown eyes shining as he clutched her leg.

“Hey baby,” she said, running her hand through his hair. “What do you think of this place?”

“I like it,” the little boy replied, before cupping his hands around his mouth and making a howling noise, only to hear it echo and bounce off the walls. He giggled at the sound. “It’s loud! The yard is big!” He held his arms far apart to show her the distance, a huge smile on his face. “Daddy can play ball with me!”

“You bet he can. I bet he can’t wait.” She chuckled as her son took off through the empty house.

Barking rang out from the front yard, and April turned to see their dog sniffing around the bushes in front of the house, his tail wagging rapidly. He looked just as excited as her son did to be somewhere new. However, she realized it _probably_ wasn’t best if he was left unattended in a new neighborhood.

“Jack,” she called. “Can you go check on Champion for Mommy? And stay in the yard, please.”

“Okay,” the boy called from whatever room he was currently exploring, hurrying out the door once again.

April walked through the living room, slowly taking in every corner and every space. She ran her hands over the top of the fireplace mantle. It reminded her so much of the one back in her old apartment, it was almost eerie. She continued to explore, making her way into the kitchen, which had a large window looking out into the back yard. As she watched her son playing with their dog in the leaves, the sound of heavy footsteps grew louder behind her.

“Honey?”

“In here,” she called, turning at the sound of her husband’s voice. “I’m in the kitchen.”

Andy came around the corner from the main hallway, Jack’s twin sister fast asleep in his arms. Their daughter was already worn out from the busy day of moving, having fallen asleep on the ride over.

“I’ve got one sleepy girl right here,” he smiled, hoisting her higher onto his shoulder. “The movers are gonna take the kids’ stuff upstairs first so they can nap.”

“That’s good,” April walked over, gently rubbing the little girl’s back. Their daughter shifted, grabbing the collar of her father’s button down in her tiny fist and snuggling into him further. “Let’s have them do Melody’s room first. I think Jack’s having too much fun exploring.” 

Andy smiled, wrapping his free arm around April’s shoulder and pulling her into him.

“This place is great,” he said simply.

“Mmhm,” she nodded, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“You happy, babe?”

_Happy…_

April hadn’t been able to answer that question truthfully for a long, long time. From the time she was a little girl, straight through her teens, into her early twenties, she’d often lied. Back then it’d been the easy way out. Now though…a lot of things can change in five years time.

Now, she’d gone from therapy once every week, to once every six months. She no longer relied on those little pills to get her out of bed every day. Rather, the thought that she was living for others now besides herself was enough to keep her going. She no longer suffered from nightmares when she slept. Especially not when she had Andy’s love every night, holding her close, surrounding her and keeping her safe. 

Now, she was out in the world, running her own division of her father’s company, all while managing her husband’s flourishing children’s music career. While Andy, meanwhile, worked full-time under City Manager Leslie Knope and Parks Director Donna Meagle.

Now, she’d gone from photographing boring things to make a semi-living, to photographing her children’s smiling faces as they learned to walk, played at the park, snuggled with their father, or reached another of their many milestones. Now, she photographed because she _loved_ it.

She thought about the silly, random, wonderful way Andy had entered her life five years ago. She’d had no idea at the time how much she needed him, and there he was. He was the piece of her broken soul she’d been searching for. He was her husband and the father of her children, who she loved with all her heart…more than she could ever try to explain. He gave her everything. _He made her happy._

She placed a hand on her stomach, smiling up at him while standing on her tip toes to give him a kiss.

“Yeah babe,” she smiled, leaning into him. “I’m happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "5 Years Time" by Noah & the Whale
> 
> A big HUGE thank you to all those who read, shared and supported this AU. I honestly had so much fun with this. You're all awesome. <3


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